I Beg Your Forgiveness (Completed Main Story) - Chapter 5
“When I enrolled in law school, the sanctuary had already begun to crumble. Your Grace surely knows that women are now attempting to enter professions once considered exclusively male.”
“But the reality isn’t so simple, Marien. The police department is more hostile to women than any other field. Across the entire kingdom, there aren’t even twenty female officers. And I’d wager there isn’t a single woman in the Blauburg Police Department.”
“That’s precisely why I need Your Grace’s help. If you recommend me, the chief of police won’t dare refuse.”
Marquis Schneider realized she had no intention of backing down. Marien gave him no room to maneuver.
Wondering why she was being so adamant, Marquis Schneider’s eyebrows twitched once more. A cautious voice slipped through his teeth.
“Is this because of Veronica?”
Marien offered no reply. Yet her tightly clenched jaw, slightly quickened breath, and trembling eyes spoke volumes.
Marquis Schneider leaned back against the sofa, his expression heavy with sorrow. As he stroked his faded beard, he murmured half to himself.
“I, too, deeply regret the accident that befell Veronica. She was far too young to be broken like that.”
Then, suddenly, he cast a puzzled glance toward Marien.
“But why apply here, of all places? I thought Veronica attended a women’s boarding school in the capital.”
“Because the capital is entirely within Christoph’s palm. There’s nowhere his influence doesn’t reach. But with enough determination, the truth can still be uncovered here.”
“So the candle burns darkest right beneath it. Even Christoph wouldn’t imagine you’d come to me. Ah, I see. Becoming a lawyer would have been the easier path—but you avoided it precisely to avoid crossing paths with Christoph.”
Marquis Schneider nodded knowingly. Only then did it dawn on him that this wasn’t a plan hatched overnight. She was utterly serious.
“Besides, I need to work to support myself, and I might as well do something I truly want to do.”
“Support yourself… Hmm.”
Marquis Schneider let out a confused hum, looking genuinely bewildered. Hearing Madam Schneider speak of needing to earn a living was, by far, the most absurd joke he’d heard lately.
Clearing her throat lightly, Marien gazed at him with deep blue eyes that seemed to hold the universe within them. Marquis Schneider stared back into her eyes, transfixed.
In the intimate silence, Marien spoke first.
“Will you keep your promise?”
“If I break my promise, will you vanish again to a place even I can’t reach?”
Marien stubbornly pressed her lips together—tantamount to confirming his words. Marquis Schneider felt as though he were discovering entirely new facets of her today, one after another.
Perhaps this was the real Marien—not Madam Schneider, but Marien Clozier in her truest form.
After a brief moment lost in thought, he finally nodded. His voice sounded more willing than expected.
“The weight of a promise is never light. When I made that promise to you, I should have foreseen this situation—but failing to do so was my mistake.”
He murmured softly, then turned to Marien with a gentle smile in his eyes.
“Very well. I’ll recommend you to Chief Wilhelm.”
“And…”
Marien hesitated briefly, as if struggling to voice something even harder than her previous request. Marquis Schneider remained silent, urging her to continue with his expectant gaze.
“Could you lend me some money? I’ll repay you bit by bit once I start receiving my salary.”
“…”
Marquis Schneider stared blankly, as if unable to comprehend what he’d just heard—then his eyes widened belatedly.
“Did you just say… money?” he asked, stunned as though struck on the back of the head. Marien’s earlobes flushed red.
She was, after all, Madam Schneider—the granddaughter-in-law of Marquis Schneider and wife of Christoph, the capital’s most prominent lawyer. That such a woman would ask to borrow money was unthinkable.
He chuckled lightly, then asked kindly as he looked at her blushing face, “Alright, how much do you need? Fifty thousand gold? A hundred thousand?”
At that, Marien’s eyes flew wide open. A hundred thousand gold was enough for an ordinary person to live comfortably for several years.
Paling, she quickly waved her hands.
“Ten gold will be enough. I left in such a hurry that I didn’t bring any cash. If I sold my jewelry, Christoph might trace me. I’m planning to rent a room in town.”
“A boarding house? You won’t stay here with me?”
This time, Marquis Schneider was genuinely surprised. Marien slowly shook her head.
“I know Your Grace is trustworthy. But there are too many servants here. There’s no telling where word might leak. It’s only a matter of time before Christoph finds out.”
“My dear Marien.”
Marquis Schneider called her gently. No matter how he thought about it, the idea of her staying in a boarding house left him uneasy.
“Please, Your Grace. Allow me to stay within your domain.”
It was practically an ultimatum—a threat that if he refused, she’d flee somewhere beyond his reach.
“Hmm.”
Marquis Schneider delayed his answer with a reluctant expression. He couldn’t possibly let his precious granddaughter-in-law stay in some cramped, dingy boarding house.
But seeing the unyielding resolve in her eyes, he sighed in resignation.
“In return, you must visit me often. You’re still my family, Marien.”
“!”
At those words, Marien’s eyes widened. Her round pupils trembled helplessly. Her face twisted as if she might burst into tears at any moment—but instead of shedding them, she offered a quiet, gentle smile.
“…Yes, Your Grace. I will.”
As if that concluded their conversation, Marien rose from her seat and carefully covered her face with a veil.
Marquis Schneider watched her silently for a moment before suddenly speaking.
“Christoph is my only grandson. After his parents passed away early, all the hopes I’d placed on them fell onto him. I wanted him to be just a little more perfect, to stand above everyone else. I wanted him to fulfill the dreams I never could—to become a man standing at the pinnacle of the empire.”
Marien slowly turned to look at him. Marquis Schneider wasn’t looking at her, but at a distant point in empty space—as if someone dear to him stood there.
It was almost like a confession. Marien remained quietly silent, listening intently to his words.
“Christoph did his utmost to meet my expectations. He was always a satisfactory grandson—and a source of pride. But perhaps… yes, perhaps that heavy burden of expectation is what made him so cold-hearted. Or rather, it was my fault for driving him relentlessly, even though I knew better.”
Marquis Schneider, speaking bitterly to himself, finally turned his gaze toward Marien. His gray eyes softened with warmth.
“Marien.”
“Yes, Your Grace.”
“You may or may not know this, but I hold you very dear.”
Marien struggled to find words. After swallowing hard, her throat bobbing slowly, she finally nodded. Her lower lip trembled faintly.
“I know, Your Grace. That’s precisely why I came here.”
“I see.”
Marquis Schneider nodded with a gentle smile. Perhaps her words weren’t mere flattery.
Her coming to him—Christoph’s own grandfather—wasn’t just a tactical move. Perhaps he was her only refuge.
Marquis Schneider added lightly, half-jokingly,
“But at the decisive moment, I will stand with Christoph.”
“…Yes, Your Grace.”
That was only natural. Marien showed no disappointment, merely gazing at him calmly.
Marquis Schneider believed no one was better suited to be Christoph’s wife than Marien. There was no other reason—simply because Christoph had chosen her.
He never doubted for a moment that his grandson would enter a marriage of political alliance. Such unions between noble houses were closer to contracts than marriages, and Christoph was an ambitious pragmatist, not a dreamer. Thus, a strategic marriage made perfect sense.
Moreover, he’d never once seen Christoph show even a hint of affection—or even simple fondness—toward anyone. Yet that same Christoph had taken Marien’s stiffly tense hand and crossed the threshold of his mansion.
Marquis Schneider still remembered that moment vividly.
—”Once Marien graduates, we will marry.”
It wasn’t a request for permission. It was a firm declaration—and a notification—that even Marquis Schneider himself wouldn’t be allowed to object.
Shaken from his brief reverie, the Marquis added in a gentle tone,
“But I promise you this: until that decisive moment arrives, I am on your side. So let us wait and see how Christoph responds.”
At those words, Marien’s previously calm expression wavered violently, like a small boat tossed by stormy waves.
Lowering her gaze, she whispered in a voice thick with tangled emotions,
“Perhaps… it won’t matter at all. He might be so buried in work as usual that he hasn’t even noticed I’m gone. Or maybe… he’s already filed for divorce. I’m not that important to Christoph, Your Grace.”
Though she was the one who’d fled from him, she still couldn’t let go of her lingering feelings.
No matter how much dry firewood had piled up in her heart, he was someone she’d loved so deeply that she could no longer even pretend to like him. Her feelings for him couldn’t be severed cleanly like a tree felled by an axe.
But time would heal everything. She decided to believe that distance from him in body would eventually mean distance in heart as well.
Marquis Schneider stared intently at Marien’s veiled face—and at her trembling fingertips, clutching the hem of her dress tightly.
Suddenly, the corners of his mouth lifted.
“We’ll see. My thoughts differ somewhat from yours. But we’ll find out soon enough.”
Marien quietly drew a breath, then offered Marquis Schneider a respectful bow before leaving the drawing room. Marquis Schneider gave some instructions to his butler.
She walked slowly away. Marien walked alone down the seemingly endless corridor. Suddenly, she wondered if her life, too, stood at the beginning of such a path.
At the end of the corridor appeared a fork leading to unknown destinations. No servants were in sight. After a brief hesitation, she turned left around the corner.
May there be a shining exit waiting for her there.
***
“Thank goodness His Grace provided a carriage. Otherwise, the sun would’ve set before I even left the estate.”
Marien murmured softly to herself as she looked up at the sky, already dimming with twilight.
Leaning against the swaying carriage, she was captivated by the unfamiliar village scenery unfolding before her. It resembled the capital yet felt distinctly different.
Filthy-faced children ran past, shouting loudly. A cart selling dried fish came into view. Men carrying clattering fishing rods walked by, while elegantly dressed nobles strolled like proper gentlemen and ladies. Occasionally, foreigners in exotic attire crossed the streets.
Now that she noticed, the breeze carried a salty tang. Listening closely, she heard the low, deep sound of a ship’s horn not far away—deeper and heavier than the whistle of a steam locomotive.
Marien finally grasped the reality: she had truly left Christoph’s side and now stood alone in a land she’d never visited before.
“I need to find lodging before sunset.”
As Marien worriedly murmured, watching the darkening streets, the carriage abruptly halted.
She looked around once more. Rows of tightly packed houses lined the area. She still had no idea where exactly she was.
Just then, the carriage door opened, and the coachman appeared—it was the assistant butler who’d escorted her to the Marquis earlier. Marien adjusted her veil and met his gaze.
“Is this where I should get off?”
When scheming men desperately battle for her favor in the male harem
This one’s also on my reread list! The rivalry, scheming between the men in the imperial harem are just as intense and thrilling as in classic palace drama novels, where concubines fight to the death. Give it a read, girls! I promise you won’t be disappointed.
Synopsis:
“I am not worthy of her… but I still want to be by her side, even if only as a loyal dog…”
Those were the painful whispers of Yue Guanyi – the proud Crown Prince of the Great Qi, who was torn between deep love and a guilty conscience. Despite holding the supreme power of the Imperial Guard, he still could not forget the dark past when he was sold into a brothel.
Fate played a cruel twist when Qiu Shuzhi – a young female official who had just passed the imperial examinations with top honors – stepped into his life. She did not know that she was the one who had saved him from a tragic fate many years ago. And now, her heart was the target of pursuit for both Yue Guanyi and the powerful Empress Dowager Qin Qing.
While Yue Guanyi only dared to silently care for and protect the one he loved from afar, the Empress Dowager Qin Qing openly expressed his feelings and did not hesitate to take advantage of his power to approach Qiu Shuzhi. The covert struggle between the two most powerful forces in the imperial court began…
Trigger warning: All men in this novel are yandere style.
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Wah! Disgusting. What does he do?! Whatever the blood or not, how to lick something on a corpse. Liam is weird.