At the words complimenting his smile, his expression momentarily stiffened.

“Uh… really?”

“That… I’ve heard that a long time ago. I guess I’ll be going now.”

After saying that, I left abruptly. It felt like I had touched the reins of someone I had just been talking well with.

“Um… did I make a mistake?”

Shasha, who had been standing silently between us, smiled knowingly.

“Unnie doesn’t make mistakes.”

“Huh?”

“I just thought the Emperor looked a little sad. It’s not that Unnie made a mistake.”

“Oh… is that so?”
“He looked sad? Is saying that smiling is beautiful a sad thing? I still don’t know. About that person.

‘I don’t need to know. We’re not really in love… No matter what I do, he probably won’t love me.’

I forced a bitter smile, then took a seat next to Reldoro.

Fortunately, Reldoro recovered his senses from the next day.

After lying down for a few days, his health had weakened, and he wasn’t ready to play outside yet, but there were no nightmares or sleepless nights.

In the evening of that day, with a satisfied expression, Lianadro came to the room holding a large wine bottle after the kids had gone to sleep.

Leaving the bedroom with the kids asleep, I watched him pour wine into the wine glass with a happy expression.

“You seem to be in a good mood.”

“Maybe. Whether it’s good or not.”

He handed me the wine glass and smiled brightly. Such a smile seemed to be the first time, so I laughed along and sipped the wine.

Knowing that I was weak to alcohol, I just wet my lips slightly.

Unlike me, Lianadro continued to empty his wine glass. The sound of the oak burning. Drinking while using that sound as a snack took quite some time.

“I thought about this while going through this.”

“What did you think about?”

That my desires could make someone suffer. Reldoro became like that… It just felt like it was all my fault.”

“It’s not anyone’s fault.”

Lian nodded slightly with his eyes squinted at my words.

“It’s not anyone’s fault. But… now, anyone I like… I don’t want them to become unhappy.”

“What do you mean?”

“When the time comes, leave. What you wanted was protection. If you want, I’ll make sure your parents can’t get close. You can go to a distant country, I’ll support you. Leave.”

It was a sudden statement. I blinked, just looking at him.

“Just being by my side might be an unfortunate thing. Like others did.”

“Lian.”

“Wasn’t there someone you loved? You cried while calling that name. It’s okay to follow that person.”

Someone I loved? I shook my head vehemently, looking at him.

“Me? Do I have someone I love?”

“How affectionate you were. Even said Noah in your sleep.”

“Ah.”

I was surprised, thinking that my feelings for him might have been exposed, but it wasn’t that. He was misunderstanding firmly.

“… Right. Noah was curious. He wanted to know who he was. Even though I couldn’t find anything about him.”

He searched for Noah? Why? Why did he?

Perhaps he was afraid that Reldoro or he would be harmed?

“Who is… this person named Noah?”

“Noah is the person I love so much… And the person I loved. My everything, who loved me more than Shasha, left the world without receiving love in return.”
After Noah left the world, my life became a nightmare.

Living in an orphanage was difficult, and even breathing and opening my eyes were challenging.

In every moment of my life, Noah was deeply embedded. Because Noah wasn’t there. My brother who used to smile at me, who used to love me, didn’t exist.

So, I thought about dying several times.

In the end, all those attempts turned into failures, and the nuns at the orphanage even arranged for me to have psychiatric treatment.

“A person you love. Seems like it was quite affectionate.”

“Yes.”

“…Yeah. So, when the time comes, leave. Be with the person you love like that.”

Can I leave? If I can meet Noah, if I can be with him, I want to leave too.

As an adult barely getting by in reality, when death approached me, who used to live as an ordinary office worker, I smiled for the first time in a long while.

Because I could end the life I had with Noah. But as if God was giving me a chance to live again with remorse, I was given another life.

But Noah is not here either.

“Leave… I can’t.”

“Why? Is it because of Shasha? Or is it that person…?”

“He’s not here.”

“Not there?”

“Yes.”

He’s not here. My Noah is not anywhere. My everything, who knew me as a person in the world, is not here.

Tears fell instantly.

I tried to endure it, tried to forget, but I couldn’t forget the memories of Noah. The memories about Noah were impossible to forget and impossible to endure.

It only brought a sense of guilt.

That’s when a white handkerchief was handed to me.

“Ah…”

“…This time, don’t use it and throw it away.”

“Thank you.”

“…Seemed quite affectionate.”

After stealing a tear, I raised my head.

“Yes.”

“…Yeah. Looks like I touched a nerve for no reason.”

“That’s right.”

“…Hmm.”

“It’s my weakness. Noah is.”

I tried not to cry, tried to live boldly as Shasha unnie, but you made me cry. And…

“And I… have someone else I love. Not Noah, someone else.”

“Someone else…”

It’s you. I love you.