I Became the First Love of the Impenetrable Male Lead - Chapter 46

“Simon, have you seen Klein by any chance?”

“Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve seen him today. He wasn’t in class this morning either.”

“Is that so?”

I feigned nonchalance as I asked, trying hard to swallow a sigh.

Should I have gone to the Marquis’s residence instead?

The rain only stopped in the morning, and coming straight from the Duke’s residence to return to the Knights Order instead of the Marquis’s residence was…

Perhaps because of a faint hope that Ian might show up at the Knights Order.

But even after searching every corner of the Knights Order, Ian was nowhere to be found. There was also no one who had seen Ian.

“But why are you looking for Klein?”

I felt a blatant gaze land on my face. Facing Simon’s expression full of curiosity, I waved my hand lightly as if it was no big deal and replied.

“Oh, it’s nothing… I just have something to say to Klein.”

“What is it? Should I pass on the message if I see him?”

“No, it’s fine.”

“Please let me know if you need my help anytime, senior.”

Simon’s eyes shone with determination. Seeing Simon so full of eagerness to do anything, I was the one who felt burdened instead.

“Alright, thank you. But don’t you have another class?”

“Ah! That’s right. I’ll go to class then, senior.”

Simon bowed his head to me and then immediately entered the annex. As those attending classes rushed into the annex, the front of the annex quickly became deserted. I examined the faces of those remaining one by one, but Ian was still nowhere to be seen.

“What on earth is going on?”

How can someone disappear so completely in just one day?

Unless something really happened…

The anxiety I had been trying to suppress came rushing back. I shook my head quickly to stop my thoughts.

Should I look for a Knight of the Guardian Knights Order instead?

With that thought suddenly occurring to me, I hurried my steps towards the 7th Training Ground. As I entered the tightly closed training ground, I saw Conrad practicing swordsmanship alone with a wooden sword.

“Sir Conrad.”

The wooden sword in Conrad’s hand fell to the floor of the training ground with a thud.

“Yes?”

Conrad blinked repeatedly as if trying to grasp the situation.

Well, it’s understandable to be surprised.

During our joint training in the 7th Training Ground, we had only exchanged light greetings, never having a proper conversation.

“May I ask you something?”

“Yes? Me?”

“There’s only you here, Sir Conrad.”

Conrad looked around the empty training ground and wrinkled his nose bridge as if embarrassed.

“That’s right. Please ask.”

“Were you at the Imperial Palace yesterday?”

“Yes, I was, but…”

He was at the Imperial Palace?

The expectation of possibly hearing some news lasted only for a moment. With anxiety creeping in, I took a small breath and opened my mouth.

“Did anything happen at the Imperial Palace?”

“Nothing special happened.”

Conrad looked as calm as if he was talking about something truly insignificant.

Even if the Imperial Palace is large, if something had happened to the Prince, he couldn’t be this calm, right?

“But why are you suddenly asking about the Imperial Palace…”

“I thought I heard someone talking about the Imperial Palace earlier. I was curious if something had happened.”

It was a hastily made-up excuse, but Conrad nodded with an understanding expression. Just as I was about to feel relieved, that small nod stopped.

“It was unusually quiet though. Even though it was the 1st Prince’s birthday.”

The 1st Prince is Ian, isn’t it?

Yesterday was Ian’s birthday?

“Ah, I see. Thank you.”

Leaving behind Conrad, who was just blinking like a dumbfounded person, I headed towards the library.

When I was reading about the history of the Fonnes Empire before, I think there was something strange related to birthdays…

“Ah, here it is.”

I quickly pulled out a book titled “The Fonnes Empire, About Its Imperial Family” from the bookshelf and hurriedly flipped through the pages.

“About birthdays…”

My gaze scanning the text stopped at one particular spot.

“No way…”

If that curse Ian mentioned manifests on the day of his birthday?

So he could die. And if he survives, then like Ian in the original story…

I closed the book with trembling hands. The original story was from Daisy’s perspective, so it was impossible to know when the curse manifested for Ian.

So I vaguely thought that the curse must have manifested sometime after he left the White Knights Order and before his Crown Prince investiture ceremony.

But what if he left the White Knights Order because the curse manifested?

A loud thud echoed. I could see the book that had fallen to the floor in a miserable state, but I could only stare at it blankly.

My heart, twisted into a mess, was still falling.

*

“Herman, about Rosebelia.”

Herman, who had taken a sip of the tea Olivia had brought and put it down, opened his mouth with a knowing look.

“If it’s about the marriage talks, let’s postpone it for a while.”

Olivia’s eyebrows twisted unpleasantly at the unexpected answer.

“Why suddenly? You agreed to the marriage talks with the Diaz family last time, didn’t you?”

“I’m saying this because the subjugation is not far off. Rosebelia will be away from the capital for a while, so there’s no need to rush, is there?”

“…I understand.”

“Olivia.”

Olivia, who was about to pick up her teacup, smiled brightly and answered.

“Tell me, Herman.”

“About Liliana.”

“Why are you suddenly talking about Liliana…”

Olivia grabbed the hem of her dress with a calm face. Her arm was trembling slightly from how tightly she was gripping it.

“Back then it was an unknown illness, but now that over 10 years have passed, do you think we could save her now?”

“I’m not sure. Maybe if we knew the cause of the illness. But we still don’t know what disease Liliana had…”

“…I see. You may go now.”

Olivia didn’t lose her smile until she left the study. Only after the door closed did she catch her breath and head straight to her room.

“Madam, did the conversation go well…”

“Why is he suddenly bringing up Liliana?”

Margaret’s eyes widened. Although she knew only she and Olivia were in this room, Margaret looked around the room needlessly before asking carefully.

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know either. I wonder what wind suddenly blew for him to bring up that name.”

And he even asked about Liliana’s illness.

‘I thought he would readily agree this time since he went along with the marriage talks with the Diaz family, but he wants to postpone the marriage talks too?’

“I don’t like any of this.”

“Miss is leaving for the subjugation soon anyway. Since the person in question won’t be in the capital, wouldn’t it be okay to prepare for the marriage talks slowly?”

“You’re saying exactly the same thing as Herman.”

Olivia, sitting on the sofa, snorted. There was no need to put much meaning into Herman’s words about proceeding with the marriage talks slowly. After all, something fortunate could happen to Rosebelia during the subjugation.

But she couldn’t understand why she felt so uneasy.

‘Has there been some change in Herman’s mind?’

“If it really doesn’t work out, it wouldn’t be bad to try using the newly completed potion as soon as Rosebelia returns.”

“Madam, that’s not acceptable. Her Majesty the Empress won’t allow it.”

“Who knows? That potion anyway…”

Olivia swallowed her next words and smiled widely, lifting the corners of her mouth.

*

Ian, who had been tossing and turning, opened his eyes wide. He didn’t know how many times this had happened already. He tried to close his eyes forcefully, only to open them again startled, repeating this over and over.

He couldn’t sleep because it was too noisy. Ever since he started detecting aura, people’s inner thoughts became even more clearly audible.

He thought he could only hear the inner thoughts of people right in front of him, but that wasn’t the case.

The inner thoughts of people within a certain radius were mixing and becoming audible. The problem was that when he went to a place where inner thoughts couldn’t be heard, he started hearing hallucinations.

‘You must want to kill. Believe me. You’re hungry for blood, I tell you.’

As if whispering right next to him, it conveyed the message to kill someone. So easily.

The conclusion Ian reached just a few hours after the curse manifested was that it’s better to hear other people’s noisy inner thoughts than to hear hallucinations telling him to kill.

He recalled the records from the forbidden zone that he had read through from dawn to morning.

In the records, those who survived despite the curse manifesting ended up in one of two ways.

Either going mad with bloodlust or losing their minds.

Both were horrifying. Yet it was a fate where he couldn’t easily die.

“An immortal body, they said?”

They said he couldn’t die by his own will. Even if he ordered someone else to stab him with a sword and tried to stay still, his body would move on its own to defend, and he wouldn’t die no matter what poison he drank.

It was the same with trying to fall from a high place. If he tried to fall of his own will, his feet would not move as if they were stuck.

Ian, who had been sneering, closed his eyes. He could feel a large amount of aura flowing.

And a Swordmaster at that?

‘Even if I fight with all my might, it’s made so that I won’t die easily, isn’t it?’

“…What a damn curse.”

Ian muttered lowly as he got up, stroking his heavy eyelids. He had tried to force himself to sleep because his head felt like it was going to split, but he felt like sleep was escaping him more and more.

Leaving the bedroom, he left the main palace and wandered around the rear garden. As he walked, trying hard to ignore the hallucinations, a familiar voice was heard.

“1st Prince?”

Turning his body towards where the voice came from, he saw Empress Evelyn standing gracefully under an parasol held by a maid.

“I greet Your Majesty the Empress.”

“There’s no need to be so formal. I heard you were ill, are you alright now?”

Just as he was about to answer the question.

‘I wish he had just died.’

Ian swallowed a bitter smile at Evelyn’s voice that suddenly barged in. It was amazing how her face didn’t change at all while inwardly cursing him to die.

“Were you really worried about me?”

“Of course. I couldn’t even sleep properly last night.”

“I could have just died suddenly, but thanks to Your Majesty’s extreme concern, I seem to have recovered.”

‘What is he saying now?’

The elegant smile on Evelyn’s face slowly faded. Meeting her increasingly widening eyes, Ian let out a faint sneer and bowed his head.

“Then I’ll take my leave first.”

‘Don’t you want to kill? Just kill him.’

Ian stopped in his tracks after not going far. Although facing Evelyn wasn’t particularly pleasant, hearing hallucinations wasn’t a better situation either.

‘Killing is the simplest way.’

“Ha, it’s driving me crazy. Shut that mouth.”

It hadn’t even been a day since the curse manifested, but he was already feeling disgusted.

‘Do I have to live in this state from now on?’

Ian’s gaze, as he was roughly running his hand through his hair, was caught on one spot. Where his gaze rested was a damp climbing rose. As he took in the red rose, he naturally thought of Rosebelia.

‘I heard it rained a lot yesterday, she must have returned quickly?’

He wanted to go to the Knights Order right away and meet her. He wanted to apologize for yesterday, ask if she got caught in the rain much, how her condition was.

Above all, he wanted to properly convey the words he couldn’t say to her.

“I was going to confess…”

Ian closed his eyes tightly, feeling his heart beating wildly.

Just thinking about her makes his heart feel this full, just having her in his sight seems like it would make everything alright.

He can’t face her in this state. As soon as that thought crossed his mind, his heart sank. A sensation of falling into an endless abyss suddenly overwhelmed him.

If he stood in front of Rosebelia, he would hear her inner thoughts, and when he couldn’t hear her inner thoughts, he would hear those damn hallucinations like before.

‘Hallucinations telling me to kill Rosebelia…’

Ian hurriedly covered his mouth at the sudden surge of nausea. He found himself horrifying and disgusting.

And an immortal body? Unable to die by his own will?

Ian collapsed forward and clutched his face.

“This is just being a monster.”