I Became the First Love of the Impenetrable Male Lead (Completed Main Story) - Chapter 5
“I confessed to Senior……. I mean……. I asked you to go out with me.”
Goodness, what do I do? A confession?
There was really a knight who confessed to Rosebelia?
As I gaped in shock, Simon’s face flushed bright red.
“Ah, you… confessed to me?”
Simon, rubbing his reddened cheeks, nodded hesitantly.
“Yes.”
“But… I don’t even know you well, and right now I don’t have the emotional space to start seeing anyone.”
“Then, if you ever do find that emotional space later… would you reconsider then?”
For someone too shy to even meet my eyes, it was a surprisingly bold question.
“…I suppose I might find that space someday. But there’s no guarantee—it’s possible I’ll never have that emotional room my whole life….”
“Is it because of the upcoming beast hunt?”
Ah, right—the beast hunt was coming soon.
The original story mentioned early on that the White Knights would depart for the beast hunt, so as Simon said, it was indeed imminent.
“It’s not just because of the beast hunt….”
I couldn’t say the truth—that I wasn’t the Rosebelia he’d fallen for—so I kept biting and releasing my lower lip in frustration.
“….”
“I appreciate your feelings, but I’ll have to decline.”
“Then… is it alright if I keep liking you from afar?”
If we couldn’t avoid the original ending, then liking me would only bring him unhappiness.
Worse yet, if our relationship progressed even slightly, it would bring him even greater misfortune.
“I wouldn’t really recommend that either—you seem like the kind of person who could easily find someone far better.”
“I haven’t been in the knights’ order long, but I’ve admired you ever since hearing your reputation. To me, Senior, you’re the finest woman there is.”
“Um….”
“I’ll keep this feeling quietly to myself. That’s acceptable, isn’t it?”
When I hesitated to reply, Simon bowed his head briefly and hurriedly left the training grounds.
The original story, the ending, death…
The unresolved dilemmas that had been tormenting me since yesterday swirled chaotically in my mind once more.
“Senior.”
A low voice echoing through the air tugged sharply at my taut nerves. I didn’t need to turn around to know who it was.
It was Ian.
“When did you get here?”
“Don’t tell me you confused me with that guy just now?”
So he’d heard everything.
“Well….”
“Senior, you really have no eye for details at all.”
Simon and Ian were clearly different. Simon had an almost boyish aura, whereas Ian was….
Our eyes suddenly met. Ian, who’d been frowning slightly, let out a dry chuckle.
Apparently, he found it utterly absurd that I could possibly confuse him with Simon.
“Well… it could happen.”
“There’s not a single thing about us that looks alike, no matter how you look at it.”
“But it was the eve of the festival that day. I might’ve genuinely been drunk….”
Ian, who’d drawn closer without my noticing, abruptly turned his head. His face, slowly leaning toward mine, stopped just close enough for our breaths to mingle.
“What are you doing?”
“This is exactly the distance we stood at during the sword tournament when we faced each other closely. It’s close enough to clearly tell whether or not you smelled of alcohol.”
“….”
“You weren’t drunk, Senior. Not at all.”
As Ian straightened his posture, the sea of blue before my eyes receded.
“How strange. Then why can’t I remember anything from that day? I just assumed I was drunk and that’s why my memory’s blank.”
I tilted my head, forcing a stiff smile. Since I genuinely had no memory of it anyway, I might as well stick to claiming I couldn’t recall.
The real question was whether this clumsy act would fool Ian.
“If you thought you were drunk for that reason… I suppose that’s possible.”
Surprisingly, Ian readily accepted my explanation.
You’re unexpectedly reasonable—I’d expected you to press me further about how absurd it sounded.
“Anyway, sorry for mixing you up.”
“To be honest, it’s not exactly a pleasant feeling.”
“Huh?”
“It means I’m not a particularly memorable junior to you, Senior.”
He didn’t need to jump to that conclusion.
Though I knew the ending, Ian couldn’t possibly seem vague to me—but in Rosebelia’s memories, Ian was merely one of the new recruits who’d just joined.
“Well, there were a lot of new recruits this time….”
“Do you even know my name?”
“Oh, your name….”
I knew his full name, of course—but surely he wouldn’t be using just “Ian.”
When I hesitated, Ian shrugged as if he’d expected exactly that.
“I suppose I’ll have to make a stronger impression through our next sparring match.”
“What?”
“My presence, Senior.”
The corners of his eyes softened into a gentle curve as he finished speaking.
“Is it because we’re about to spar? That sounded rather fierce.”
Ian easily caught the wooden sword I’d suddenly tossed at him, one corner of his mouth curling upward. His Adam’s apple bobbed slightly as he spoke.
“My name is… Klein.”
“Klein… Alright, then shall we begin?”
As I tilted my wooden sword slightly, Ian met its tip with his own. Our sparring began as I pushed his blade away with a firm press.
I stood still, wooden sword in hand, as Ian launched the first attack. I redirected his incoming force smoothly, stepping back while parrying his strike.
His relentless assault made me smile faintly. Realizing Ian was utterly serious about this sparring, I tightened my grip on the wooden sword.
When I shifted from defense to offense, Ian’s blade immediately grew heavier with renewed strength.
As Ian aimed for my wrist, I quickly stepped back, deflected his blade, and instantly aimed for his throat.
“That’s enough for today.”
Ian was a swordsman of fine talent. Though exceptional for a newcomer, I instinctively sensed something clearly.
Compared to Rosebelia’s skill, he was at least two moves behind.
“You went easy on me quite a bit.”
Ian’s breath hitched slightly as he finished speaking.
“No, it was a genuinely enjoyable match.”
Unlike him, my breathing remained steady. Though my breath hadn’t changed, something else had.
Because Ian had been such a good sparring partner, my body felt noticeably lighter. With the oppressive weight lifted from my shoulders, even my throbbing headache felt clearer.
The foundation of the épée fencing I’d learned focused on thrusting, whereas Rosebelia’s swordsmanship aimed to slash—despite these differences, I immediately understood why she’d become a Swordmaster.
To move so nimbly on foot while wielding a sword easily three times heavier than a fencing blade… Rosebelia had even considered this sword light.
She’d simply reached the pinnacle of swordsmanship….
“May I request another sparring session sometime?”
“Anytime.”
Wait—was this really alright?
After accidentally injuring Edwin during a past sparring session, Rosebelia had refused to spar with anyone for a long while….
Regret washed over me belatedly, but I didn’t take back my words. I didn’t want to lose this refreshing, invigorating sensation I hadn’t felt in ages.
“Thank you, Senior.”
Ian bowed his head briefly and smiled brightly. That smile pricked my conscience.
When I’d read the original story, I’d rooted only for Daisy, Edwin, and Rosebelia—I’d never cared about Ian at all.
In fact, there was more. At one point, I’d even empathized so deeply with Daisy’s feelings that I’d hated him for failing to understand her heart.
So when Edwin finally delivered the news of his death to Daisy, I’d thought, “Good riddance—now Daisy and Edwin can be happy together.”
But the Ian standing before me now was utterly ordinary. He felt his emotions honestly and expressed them just as openly.
Perhaps this was exactly how Daisy had first seen him when she’d fallen for him.
“One thing I’d like to ask—can you sense aura?”
“I can only sense it.”
Rosebelia had sensed aura after merely a year of holding a sword. Then, at some point, she gained full control over it and ascended to the rank of Swordmaster.
In short, she was a sword prodigy.
“Since when?”
“Not long ago.”
Aura-sensing knights were rare to begin with, and even those who’d just gained the ability typically required years—sometimes decades—to learn to wield it.
According to the original story’s latter half, barely a year remained until Ian became a tyrant.
Could Ian realistically become a Swordmaster within that timeframe?
No—it was impossible. Even Rosebelia, whose swordsmanship surpassed Ian’s, couldn’t achieve it. There was no way Ian could.
Something definitely changed in Ian midway through the original story—and inevitably, the word “curse” came to mind.
If it was a curse, then it wasn’t his own will but someone else’s….
Was that truly what changed you?
“Senior?”
“Hm?”
“I think it’s about time we head out.”
I took the cloak Ian offered and tossed my wooden sword lightly into the storage cabinet.
“Alright.”
“Then, when shall our next sparring be?”
“Four days from now, at the same time.”
“Understood.”
Could I change our fated ending, already shadowed by death?
If only we could escape the destiny that forced us to kill each other….
Then perhaps both you and I could live ordinary lives….
As I followed Ian out of the training grounds, a gentle breeze blew. My chest fluttered strangely.
*
‘Have you given it any thought?’
‘Yes. I’ll have to decline your sparring request.’
‘Why? Is it because my skill is insufficient?’
‘You know your skill isn’t bad at all. Objectively speaking, you’re very talented. In fact, I briefly wondered if you might be an exception….’
‘Then why refuse to spar with me?’
‘It’s simply my principle. I’ve decided not to spar with anyone in the knights’ order, and I don’t want to break that principle just to treat you specially.’
I suddenly opened my eyes. Faint light seeped through the slightly parted curtains.
Had I been dreaming?
It felt as though Rosebelia and Ian had been having a conversation right before me….
“The location was the training grounds too.”
Coincidentally, the place where they’d spoken was also the training grounds—the very same one where Ian had approached me right after the festival ended.
“What on earth was that?”
For some reason, it felt too unsettling to dismiss as just a random dream.
What if what I’d seen was Rosebelia and Ian’s untold story—one never revealed in the original?
The more I thought about it, the more certain I became: if it had truly been Rosebelia, she would’ve refused exactly like that.
If Rosebelia really had declined sparring in the original story….
“Has the original story already started changing? Can it… really be changed?”
A strange shiver ran through my body. My heart pounded wildly at the mere hope that I could alter the original plot.
No—don’t get ahead of myself. It was just a dream, after all.
The only way to confirm whether the original could be changed was on that day—the day the original female lead, Daisy, and the original male lead, Ian, were destined to meet.
If I could reshape the original story as I wished on that day, then everything would become clear.
I tried to fall back asleep, but my restless mind wouldn’t let me.
Changing clothes quietly, I slipped out of the mansion and headed toward the forest on the outskirts of the marquis’s estate.
It was a secluded spot Rosebelia often visited to practice wielding her aura.
“I wonder… can I use aura too?”
Would wielding aura come as naturally to me as swordsmanship—as if ingrained into my body without deliberate practice?
During the beast hunt, Rosebelia had used her aura in a crisis.
Since joining the White Knights, Rosebelia had never been left off the beast hunt roster, so her participation in the upcoming hunt was certain.
I hoped I wouldn’t need to use aura, but just in case, I should practice.
As I drew my sword, a faint dawn light settled softly upon it.
Following Rosebelia’s memories slowly….
I felt the aura flowing through my body and channeled it into the blade. Soon, a white glow enveloped the sword. With just a light swing, a tree split cleanly in two.
“There—so it’s this easy….”
I couldn’t finish my sentence. My throat tightened as if about to burn up, and I clutched it desperately.
What’s this? Why is my throat so hot?
A wave of nausea surged, and I coughed violently. Slowly lowering my gaze, I saw—
“Why….”
Blood smeared across my palm.
When scheming men desperately battle for her favor in the male harem
This one’s also on my reread list! The rivalry, scheming between the men in the imperial harem are just as intense and thrilling as in classic palace drama novels, where concubines fight to the death. Give it a read, girls! I promise you won’t be disappointed.
Synopsis:
“I am not worthy of her… but I still want to be by her side, even if only as a loyal dog…”
Those were the painful whispers of Yue Guanyi – the proud Crown Prince of the Great Qi, who was torn between deep love and a guilty conscience. Despite holding the supreme power of the Imperial Guard, he still could not forget the dark past when he was sold into a brothel.
Fate played a cruel twist when Qiu Shuzhi – a young female official who had just passed the imperial examinations with top honors – stepped into his life. She did not know that she was the one who had saved him from a tragic fate many years ago. And now, her heart was the target of pursuit for both Yue Guanyi and the powerful Empress Dowager Qin Qing.
While Yue Guanyi only dared to silently care for and protect the one he loved from afar, the Empress Dowager Qin Qing openly expressed his feelings and did not hesitate to take advantage of his power to approach Qiu Shuzhi. The covert struggle between the two most powerful forces in the imperial court began…
Trigger warning: All men in this novel are yandere style.
_____
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