Conversations that wouldn’t have been shared in front of others flowed smoothly in Serpina’s presence.
The reason for starting this self-confession was impulsive.
It was Serpina who made him realize the fear he didn’t know he had.
Only after she comforted him did he realize that he had been inwardly hurt.
And he also came to understand what results that hurt and fear had brought about.
“My avoidance created this situation. I should have looked around and checked with my own eyes whether the territory was running properly, if there were any places falling ill. But I turned away just because I was afraid of the gazes.”
But even as he spoke honestly, regret washed over him.
He wondered if there was any need to show such a weak and cowardly side to the person he realized he loved.
However.
“It can’t be helped, can it?”
Serpina replied calmly and cheerfully once again.
“I’ve said it many times, but I’ll say it again. This really isn’t Dante’s fault.”
Resting her chin on one hand, Serpina swirled the glass of tea with her other hand.
“If the world was constantly harassing and trying to cut me into pieces, I think I’d want to hide too. Now, here’s a question. There are many people blaming one person, and there’s a person hiding because they’re afraid of blame. Who do you think is in the wrong?”
“…The many people blaming one person.”
“Correct.”
At that moment, Dante realized.
Why he had brought up this topic to Serpina despite his regrets.
‘I wanted to be comforted.’
It seems he wanted to receive this kind of comfort.
He thought that Serpina would surely comfort him.
As if it was nothing, with that smile.
“But, Dante. If you avoid everything, you won’t be able to do anything in the end. Fear is an illusion, and it keeps growing unless you face it head-on. So.”
A voice both gentle and firm.
“Don’t be afraid and live freely. There’s no need to care about unnecessary gazes or ridiculous blame, no need to feel intimidated. There are plenty of people around you who worry about and care for you more than anyone. If someone calls you a monster or whatever, everyone will roll up their sleeves and say, ‘Shall we show you a real monster?’ while grumbling?”
A small chuckle followed.
“So from now on, don’t be afraid of things that aren’t your fault. The most important thing is you, Dante.”
Dante slowly mulled over those words.
No. Even without deliberately chewing on them, Serpina’s voice kept buzzing in his head.
Don’t be afraid.
Don’t pay attention or listen to others’ gazes and words.
“…Can I really not be afraid?”
“Of course. I guarantee it.”
In that moment, Dante felt freedom.
It felt as if the curse that had been dragging at his ankles and choking his neck had disappeared.
Julia’s voice, which had been clearly etched in his mind and wouldn’t disappear, became blurry as if it had never been there.
So, if that’s the case.
Could he dare to freely love Serpina? Could he not feel guilty about his heart that felt like it would burst?
Unlike his complicated mind, his face remained calm.
And soon, the thoughts in his head were quickly organized.
“I won’t be afraid. So.”
Dante made a promise. He would no longer be afraid and would move forward.
There was only one thing he wanted.
“Will you stay by my side so that I can continue to have courage?”
For Serpina to stay healthy by his side for a long time.
So that someday he could convey his love to her.
Above his gently curved lips and in his blue gaze, there was a faint light of obsession.
However, contrary to his wishes, the answer did not come quickly.
A troubled expression flashed across Serpina’s face for a moment before disappearing.
Serpina, who had been fiddling with the edge of her glass, awkwardly lifted the corners of her mouth.
“I’ll stay by your side as long as fate allows.”
It was a moment when his pleasantly pounding heart plummeted to the floor.
[This is the timeline separator]The room Serpina had left.
Dante, left alone, was staring out the window with an expressionless face.
“As long as fate allows…”
Anyone could see that it meant death.
The talk of death that often casually spilled from her lips.
On the day they went out together, on the way back, they briefly stopped by a doctor’s office at Serpina’s request.
He had to try hard to suppress the urge to pry into what she had to say.
As she said she would return quickly, Serpina’s time at the doctor’s office wasn’t long.
But somehow, that time felt like an eternity.
He fidgeted restlessly in his seat, even bumping his head on the carriage ceiling.
He quickly reviewed Serpina’s condition over the past days.
Had her complexion been bad?
Had she stumbled?
Was there any talk of her coughing up blood?
Had she mentioned feeling dizzy, unable to eat, or being in pain somewhere…
The more he thought about it, the more ominous thoughts piled up.
So, when Serpina returned, he urgently asked.
Only after seeing Serpina’s bewildered expression did Dante finally come to his senses.
Serpina flinched for a moment and furrowed her brow.
And then.
She brushed it off with an ambiguous answer.
Unable to pry further, Dante had no choice but to drop the subject.
Still, he had some hope in his heart.
Perhaps there had been progress in the research.
The research Heterson was doing must surely be about Serpina’s incurable disease.
But.
Judging by that answer, there seemed to be no positive progress.
He roughly rubbed his face with both hands.
An emotion, whether anger or sadness, swept over him.
He had resolved to forget his fears and love Serpina freely.
But now, an even greater fear began to surge.
They say fear grows by feeding on greed…
He wanted to protect Serpina.
Although it was a short life with only about 10 years left, he wanted to protect her life even if it meant sacrificing his own.
Perhaps it would be better to force her to rest after all?
A dark shadow settled over his cool face. However, it easily disappeared just by recalling Serpina’s bright smile.
Yes. What mattered was her smile.
The Serpina he knew would choose happiness over health.
It was important to respect her choice while doing the best he could.
So Dante resolved once again.
He would cure Serpina’s incurable disease by any means necessary.
And also.
He would now love Serpina to his heart’s content. Even if it was a feeling that might not be reciprocated, it didn’t matter.
The mere fact that he was allowed to love someone freely was the greatest salvation for him.
[This is the timeline separator]Time passed quickly from then on.
There were no major events during that time.
The preparations to welcome the royal family members were progressing smoothly, and a new letter arrived from the imperial palace.
It was a letter informing that the First Imperial Princess and the Second Imperial Prince had been decided as the guests coming to the North.
No matter how I thought about it, the procedure was a complete mess.
I clicked my tongue and sent the letter straight into the kitchen hearth. Ena, who was watching from the side, was shocked for 3 seconds before giving me a thumbs up.
Dante and I put on our special work clothes again and started working in the fields.
As planned, we planted daisies, chamomile, and lavender in Dante’s field, and all three grew rapidly day by day.
I guess the soil here must be good.
Worried that our herbs might feel discouraged, I secretly cheered them on a few times.
We shouldn’t compare them with the neighboring fields. I’ll be a wise herb mom.
It was such an ordinary day-to-day life.
…No, actually, it wasn’t that ordinary.
There were no particularly special events, but there were small special things.
It was Dante.
“You two seem to be getting along so well these days.”
“Right? Mari, you see it too?”
“Yes. Especially the way the Duke looks at you, Madam…”
“It’s somewhat peculiar, isn’t it? Different from before?”
“Huh? Yes. It seems so…”
I wish she would give a straight answer.
If you agree and then suddenly back out, I end up feeling like I’m the only crazy one, and it’s embarrassing.
Pouting my lips, I leaned against the windowsill.
No matter how I think about it, Dante’s attitude towards me seems to have changed a bit since our outing two weeks ago.
It’s hard to pinpoint exactly.
How should I put it, his gaze is sweeter?
Or maybe his attitude is a bit more uninhibited than before.
As if he actually likes me…
Bang.
“Oh my! You startled me! What’s wrong, Madam! Why did you suddenly hit your head… Oh, are you in pain somewhere!”
As I slammed my forehead on the table for mental discipline, Mari, who was beside me, made a fuss on my behalf.
“No. I’m fine. I just felt like hitting my head.”
“My goodness. What kind of feeling is that, I’ve never heard of such a thing…?”
“It’s effective when you sometimes have silly thoughts. You should try it too.”
“When I feel that way, I just drink a glass of cold water and that’s it.”
“Ah. That’s a good method.”
“Shall I bring you some cold water?”
“Please.”
That method would probably be less painful and more effective.
As I was rubbing my sore forehead, Mari brought a water jug.
I gulped down a glass of water and then filled another.
“Sigh. I should take some medicine.”
Then I poured the stomach supplement Heterson had given me into my mouth.
__________
Bro, don’t be like this, I’m really about to throw up! (Female-dominant)
Short intro:
What she can’t stand the most is the streets full of effeminate men, especially that so-called top beauty whom she avoids at all costs.
Shen Yaoxing looks at Jiang Mingyue, who keeps approaching her with coy shyness.
Shen Yaoxing: Bro, don’t be like this, I’m really about to throw up!
She fears nothing in heaven or earth, except for him getting close to her.
*
At first he thought she was just using the trick of feigning indifference to attract his attention. Later, he learned that she truly despised him.
This dealt a heavy blow to Jiang Mingyue, and he vowed to make her, like everyone else, fall at his feet in worship!
***
Synopsis:
Before transmigrating, Shen Yaoxing only wanted to find a reliable man to spend her life with. Who knew that after transmigrating, she would become a reliable woman herself…
A forced misandrist, highly skilled, and reliable female lead
vs.
An initially aloof and arrogant, later morbid, obsessed male lead
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