Unlike my slightly cold hands, I felt a warm body temperature. I looked at him, startled. The sect leader met my eyes and spoke.

“You must have suffered a lot alone. You must have been scared.”

“Ah…”

I never dared to guess what kind of reaction he would show, but even if I had, I don’t think I would have expected this kind of response…

For a moment, I was so taken aback that I couldn’t answer and just opened my eyes wide. The sect leader continued in a subdued tone.

“Five years ago, I promised that the sect would protect you. It seems I failed to keep that promise. I’m sorry you had to go through this.”

“Sect leader, that’s…”

“Yes, I am the sect leader of Hwasan. I’m also an elder who should protect the disciples of the sect. Yet I failed to notice that those people were intervening in Hwasan and extracting information about your life. This is clearly my mistake.”

I looked back and forth between the sect leader and the great master, still flustered. But the great master just sat there with a serious expression, showing no signs of saying anything, so I had no choice but to hesitantly speak first.

“No, sect leader. I, I rather…”

“Do you want to say it’s your fault?”

That hit the mark.

For a moment, I forgot my previous confusion and closed my mouth. And at the same time, I realized where the emotional changes I had experienced alone since entering the sect leader’s quarters had originated from.

The relief and subtle fear after speaking up, and the tension.

‘Because this happened to Hwasan because of me.’

It was self-blame. Something I had been thinking about continuously since the mansion of the trading company, unsurprisingly.

I had momentarily forgotten about it while experiencing the unexpected emotions felt by the sect leader during the incident caused by that demonic cult sorcerer, but apart from then, it was an emotion that had clung to my heart and wouldn’t disappear.

The sect leader, who was staring intently at my face, smiled bitterly.

“Ha Eun. That’s a dangerous thought. Aren’t you hurting yourself with something that’s not true?”

He continued in a calm tone.

“Since Hwasan has accepted you, you are Hwasan, so how can you think of it separately? It’s not that Hwasan was harmed because of you. It’s that you were harmed because of them. The only ones who committed a crime are them and those who sided with them.”

As I listened to his words that continued without any interruption, my heart moved in a complex way.

‘Is that how it is.’

I don’t deny that the demonic cult is evil. They attacked a clan in the dead of night and wiped them out, and then tracked down the only survivor in an unpleasant way and kept pestering. They didn’t even just mess with the survivor, but also unpleasantly interfered with the sect the survivor belonged to.

‘But in that situation, he’s saying I don’t have to think of myself and Hwasan separately…’

Hwasan is a place of great significance to me. It has been since before. It was a place to return to, a place where family was. Perhaps I had sanctified Hwasan even more because I had already lost my family to death once and didn’t know what would happen in the future.

So I couldn’t think like the sect leader said at all.

“I… I couldn’t think like that. I’m not sure if I’m allowed to.”

“There’s no reason why you shouldn’t.”

Only then did it start to feel real.

It wasn’t just that Hwasan was meaningful to me, but Hwasan also considered me as a part of it.

Now that I heard it, it really was true. The time I had lived here until now proved it. So clearly that I didn’t know why I only realized it now.

Come to think of it, from the mansion… I had thought I wanted to go ‘home’.

The very fact that I had such a thought was possible in the first place because Hwasan had treated me as a part of it.

“Hwasan is your foundation. Your sect will always protect you, so don’t forget that fact.”

I slowly grasped the hand that the sect leader was still covering mine with.

It’s clearly a very welcome thing.

Perhaps because the unexpectedly realized fact was new, or because it was meaningful, I felt as if my complicated heart was gradually being sorted out. Maybe it’s because I could be sure that there was a definite ally for me in the world.

My mind, which had been confused for quite a long time, became clear for the first time in a very long time.

‘But…’

In the midst of that, I realized one fact that could shatter the atmosphere that had just improved.

‘…Regardless of what I’ve realized, nothing has actually been resolved.’

Whether you say Hwasan was harmed because of me, or that I, as a part of Hwasan, was harmed.

‘In the end, isn’t the fact that harm came to Hwasan still the same?’

My mind had become clear, but suddenly the back of my neck felt a bit stiff.

I finally figured out what the fundamental problem of all this was. Only now that I had come to my senses did my brain start working.

Just looking at what the demonic cult sorcerer was doing, it was highly likely that the demonic cult would continue to stubbornly target me. I don’t know what they’re thinking or what they want to use this body for, but that fact alone was certain.

So as long as I’m at Hwasan, they will undoubtedly reach out to Hwasan again.

‘Even if we root out the spies they planted, judging by their behavior, they’ll try to plant new ones again at some point, and they’ll do whatever abnormal things they can again.’

The incident was bound to happen again at some point. As long as the demonic cult as a force didn’t disappear, it was as good as predetermined.

Even if I remember that Hwasan is always protecting me, this was clearly a problem.

Even though I was told it wasn’t because of me, in fact, if something similar to this happens again, I will think it’s my fault again. Even if I’m part of Hwasan, if the whole is troubled because of a part, it’s rarer for people not to think that way.

‘Maybe some of the other people in the sect might think that way too.’

I have faith in Hwasan, but still, this is a place where people live.

I’m fundamentally a person who thinks a lot, so I couldn’t help but think of this possibility.

‘If that’s the case…’

Wouldn’t it be more comfortable if I become clearly stronger than I am now, and directly stand at the forefront?

Of course, it’s not something possible right now. I know the talent this body has is outstanding, but that doesn’t mean I can suddenly use sword energy and cut down all enemies in one strike overnight.

But just because I can’t do it right away doesn’t mean I should give up early and continue to just be protected behind Hwasan. Rather, the situation might deteriorate even faster.

That’s how things in the world actually work.

‘Even if not right now, in the future, I should become stronger… so that I don’t let enemies escape like this time, and further, so that I can at least take care of myself properly, and even further, to the point where I can stand at the forefront if a problem arises.’

To do that, I can’t act like I have been until now.

Right after realizing this, I suddenly recalled the thought I had before leaving Hwasan due to the Seongchang trading company issue.

‘Didn’t I say I would just try to get through this year safely?’

And then I worried if I might regret it later. I had brushed it off, not wanting to think about later events.

It’s been less than a month, but I felt like I clearly realized now how complacent I was back then.

Of course, the contemplation about ‘Ha Eun’ and myself that I had been doing since that morning is important.

But besides that problem, there were things that I needed to pay attention to that had always existed around me.

Clearly, I am currently living in someone else’s body. But the one living in this time, this moment, is not ‘Ha Eun’ but ‘me’.

‘I’ve been given an opportunity.’

A second life for me who had died once.

Even if I still don’t know when or how it will end, the fact that the one living is ‘me’ is clear.

‘…No, moreover, if I think about it, even if this wasn’t someone else’s body but my own, it would be the same in that I wouldn’t know when or how it would end.’

I didn’t think I would suddenly die from being hit by a car when I was in the modern world either.

Yes. So, apart from thinking of myself and the body’s owner separately… as long as I’m living here now, I shouldn’t have continued to have the attitude and perspective of my first life.

Saying that swords are scary, that the weight of a tool that can kill people is burdensome, that I was shocked by the process of swinging it at people, injuring them, and taking their lives…

It wasn’t the time to throw such tantrums.

Because it’s my first time getting a chance to live a second life, I only just realized this now.

‘If I need to have a goal in life, I think I know what it should be.’

Although there are still numerous problems, something that can provide a center among all of them.

‘Rather than a life of being protected, I want to live a life of protecting.’

That was the conclusion I could reach now.

“Ha Eun.”

When I remained silent for a while, the sect leader called me in a calm tone. Since it was clearly not polite behavior to keep my mouth shut and be lost in thought in front of the sect leader and the great master, I snapped back to reality with a start and looked at him.

“Yes, sect leader.”

He looked into my eyes quietly and then smiled faintly.

“Calm your mind. The way is just to flow, if you rush, you’ll get hurt.”

It was as if he knew everything I had been thinking until just now. I blinked a few times in slight surprise and then answered softly.

“Yes.”

“You must be tired, I’ve kept you here too long. You may go now. I have some things to discuss separately with your great master, so you’ll have to go back alone. You’ve been through a lot.”

“…Yes. Then this disciple will take her leave.”

I had an idea of what conversation the sect leader and the great master would have, and knowing it wasn’t something I could interfere with, I obediently bowed my head to each of them once and stood up.

When I came outside, it was already evening.