Those eyes still looked beautiful, which made me angry. So I fired all the words inside me without holding back.

“Maybe now it’s entirely my fault. Yeah, I know you must feel like you’ve been hit. Until a few days ago, we stood back-to-back against enemies and had trivial conversations. But just because things changed, do you need to know the reason?”

I could see the tension in his jaw. As if he was holding something back.

But I had no intention of being considerate of that.

“I told you last time. Don’t make a fool of people and choose whether you’re Rion Kyeong or Axel. But you didn’t choose anything and didn’t tell me anything. Yet why do you expect so much from me? Do I, do I have to keep being dragged around by you? Why me!”

In fact, it wasn’t his fault that I ended up being dragged around, because it was due to my feelings for him. But Axel wasn’t a completely innocent victim. So it was okay to shift the blame.

My chest visibly rose and fell shallowly, unable to catch my breath. Jade roughly rubbed her damp eyes with the back of her hand.

“Jade.”

“Stop calling me! It’s annoying!”

The emotions that exploded like a collapsing embankment and a bursting dam had nowhere to be contained. Unlike before when I always considered the situation before opening my mouth, as I started spitting out everything I had only thought, I felt relieved, but at the same time, I thought I must look ugly.

How fierce would my widened eyes look? What about my eyebrows that were raised crookedly?

But unexpectedly, Axel didn’t turn away from that face that must look terrible, and silently gazed at it.

His gaze was somewhat fumbling. Looking somewhere near the eyebrows, then falling with a thud, barely reaching the wet eyes.

Then he spoke quietly.

“I know you can’t help but be angry.”

“Well thanks for that! For understanding!”

Regardless of how his gaze was, I still shouted roughly. Jade realized for the first time that she could raise her voice this much.

No, she was even more irritated than when she found out that a ruffian-like guy, who had become one of the estate managers through Felix’s involvement, was embezzling from the family finances.

At least that had a clear cause and effect, but this didn’t. It was no different from venting her frustration and pent-up emotions about her own suffocating situation at him.

Is this what emotions are originally like? Something that paralyzes someone’s reason and makes them act in a way that is completely different from the path they have walked so far?

It was frustrating and exciting at the same time, wanting to forget and cherish it preciously for a lifetime at the same time.

I was dizzy amidst too many emotions and thoughts. Jade let out an unknowingly exhausted sigh.

The moment she was about to lower her head again, a large hand approached. The startled Jade froze.

However, the hand that approached very carefully only hovered around the edge of her cheek. As if wanting to wipe her wet eyes.

The fingertips that lingered for a long time, as if touching the skin, eventually grasped the air, keeping a precarious distance.

Seeing that movement, Jade swallowed her dry saliva. Strangely, a subtle tension seemed to poke her whole body, as if she would get the flu.

I used to feel this way before a battle. No, it’s not exactly the same as that… it’s more like… a little more tingling….

“Okay.”

Axel hid his fists behind his back.

Jade wanted to ask. Did you move like that without knowing? Do you also feel tingling as if someone is poking your whole body?

The sound of leaves brushing against the wind several times. Finally, he slowly opened his mouth after choosing his words.

“To mages, the Atanase Forest symbolizes misfortune. Or it means humility. But it had a different meaning to me.”

He said, staring at Jade’s long eyelashes that stretched upwards.

“It means completely letting go of political influence.”

Yes, indeed the Atanase Forest was used with that intention as well. The forest of exiles.

Jade realized that her past guess that Axel might be the second son of some family was somewhat correct.

“You may be disappointed that I didn’t say anything despite coming with the name Rion, but that name has no value. What meaning could a name that has been cut into pieces possibly have.”

There was a fairly large clue in his words, but Jade, who was exactly four years younger, didn’t notice. To that extent, the king’s command was so strict that his name was completely erased from the world.

“So look at me, the one you know, rather than that name. That will be more certain. You already know me completely.”

“But there are people outside who know you too. I…”

I want to know you the most out of them. Your past, present, and future. That would mean you have become a very big part of my life.

Even so, my desire to continue the family is greater than my desire to hold onto you, and I don’t even have the will to further develop our relationship.

Isn’t that the worst? I didn’t know I was this twisted either.

Embarrassed by the greed stained in the words she couldn’t bring herself to say out loud, Jade blushed again. It was the first time the darkness that had fallen around was welcome.

Axel smiled faintly.

“I can’t erase those people’s memories. Still, I hope you can be satisfied with this much for now. Is that not possible?”

“Of course it’s not possible. So telling you that I can’t let you know now isn’t everything.”

She pretended to be blunt, but that vigor was clearly subdued. Axel also noticed it and finally laughed out loud.

“Then I’ll have to give you another reward. I’ll get you more Lazulite. The quality will be even better this time.”

“…Don’t talk about Lazulite. It’s annoying.”

Remembering the embarrassing moment once again, Jade walked briskly and hit the surface of the fountain. The water splashed.

Damn it, damn it! Why did you bring up Lazulite! You exposed all my cards!

It was always like that. In the end, only her bottom was exposed. Her real name and emotions. He always seemed to be hidden somewhere under the shade of a tree, obscure, yet extorted everything from her.

The only fortunate thing was that he wasn’t displeased with her feelings.

No, to think that I should consider this fortunate!

After fuming, she turned her head sharply.

“So you’re saying you don’t know what will happen in the future, so it’s difficult to talk about it.”

“Yes.”

“That you might go back to the Atanase Forest?”

“Maybe.”

I’m going to go crazy from the frustration! She was about to raise her voice again, but held it in.

I guess he wasn’t educated to answer only with yes or no. Yeah, that’s possible. No matter which family he’s from, they did a proper job educating him!

“Yeah, yeah… Then you want to know why I’m keeping my distance? Why?”

Axel tilted his head slightly. In the shadow of his eyes, worry hung long.

After a long silence, he whispered in a low voice as if talking to himself.

“I don’t know. I can’t figure you out. You were always simple and clear in the forest, but it’s not like that here. I think you…”

Then he closed his mouth. Tension entered his jawline.

Axel crushed many words in his mouth and swallowed them. He endured. He could still do that for now. He was waiting. For something to compensate for the moment she left without even saying goodbye.

Of course, he couldn’t be sure if his guess about her feelings was correct. She was the first uncertainty that appeared in his life.

“I what.”

Instead, Jade became impatient. Axel laughed.

“It was difficult because I saw a different side of you. Actually, you’re still difficult for me. I’m afraid you’ll just turn around and run away without saying anything.”

“Hmm…”

“Retreat on horseback.”

“Mm.”

“Suddenly grab someone and say strange things.”

“Not strange things, I, I was talking about the weather…”

“Hide behind some knight. You preferred to be behind that big knight, I think his name was Arthur?”

“No, that’s…”

“Should I go on?”

“No!”

He remembered every single thing she did to avoid him without missing anything. Amusingly, in the midst of embarrassment, she was happy that he had been disappointed.

“So I want to know what you think. Then I think I can make a decision too.”

“What are you going to decide? Whatever it is, it’s underhanded.”

“Yeah. I’m a bit of a coward. So tell me. Why are you avoiding me?”

There were plenty of excuses.

Because you hid the fact that you can use sword energy. Because you seem closer to other people than me. Because you pretended not to know me in front of others. All of those things combined, I was angry and avoided you.

However, it felt like a betrayal to lie in front of Axel, who had opened up quite honestly in his own way.

The truth is…

“Axel.”

“Yes.”

He was still calmly waiting for her words. The well-shaped lips below the prominent nose bridge.

My throat kept getting dry.

“The reason I avoided you is…”

It’s the end anyway, so why not be honest for once? Then you’ll understand too. Why I’m avoiding you.

No, this is an excuse. I just want to experience it once with the person I like.

A gentle breeze blew. There were only the two of them here.

Jade, having made up her mind, raised her heels as much as possible. Still, it was impossible to touch. The height difference between them was considerable.

However, Axel, who misunderstood Jade’s movement as trying to whisper, bent his waist.

The long, downcast eyelashes were visible in front of her. He was just waiting. Knowing nothing.

Jade grabbed the man’s collar and pulled him in. And she kissed his cheek.