How the Abandoned Queen Made That Man Kneel - Chapter 41

I wonder if it was just a dream.

Katharine spent a day and a half quietly replaying in her mind Farnese’s proposal, which felt so unreal.

In fact, strictly speaking, it couldn’t be called a proposal.

It was just a kind of suggestion, without any pure love.

“Come find me when you’ve made up your mind. I’ll be waiting for your answer.”

As he said that and turned away, Farnese’s face was as cold as ice, showing no sign of emotional fluctuation.

The boyish appearance of someone unsure what to do with their first love, who had been breathing hot breaths between his lips just moments ago, had disappeared in an instant.

Then what was the meaning of that terrifyingly tender kiss?

Katharine touched her lips with her fingertips.

The inner flesh that had been persistently tormented by him still throbbed strangely.

‘If I accept his proposal here.’

Katharine imagined herself becoming the empress of the Renel Empire.

The royal wedding would be grand, and for the first while after marriage, they might spend some cozy time together.

But really, how long could that last?

‘After the honeymoon, what’s left would be nothing but desolate boredom and irritation.’

Conversations gradually decreasing, days spent solely focused on state affairs in their respective offices.

Like colleagues with only minimal loyalty remaining.

Before long, Farnese would realize he no longer finds freshness in his wife and will seek new interests by taking a mistress.

But Katharine thought that even if Farnese changed to a completely different person from now, she wouldn’t be as hurt as when Charlen abandoned her.

With Charlen, she had lived under the illusion that he wouldn’t change, but now she knew the reality that Farnese was bound to change.

When it became late at night and darkness could cover her face, Katharine went out alone to walk in the garden.

As she walked, she thought about what would happen if she rejected Farnese’s proposal and returned to the Kingdom of Kan.

As a mere maid, it was nearly impossible to give Charlen and Rose any kind of fatal realization.

Returning home without any plan would only result in Charlen’s repeated verbal abuse and confinement.

Crushed under the rock of the king’s power, unable to even put up a plausible resistance, she would end up becoming his mistress as if swept away by the waves.

If that’s the case, Katharine’s mind was filled with the thought that it might be wiser to accept Farnese’s proposal.

‘I’m scared.’

Whichever path she chose, Katharine was afraid of losing herself.

It felt like being lost in the middle of a thorny forest, no longer knowing which way to go.

When she came to her senses, Katharine realized she was crouched in a corner of the garden, her whole body trembling.

Like a wounded small animal, unable to make a proper sound, only letting out thin moans, a deep shadow fell over her head.

“…Katharine.”

The man who came through the moonlight was Farnese.

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“Become my one and only companion.”

Farnese, who had come out to the garden unable to sleep, was calmly repeating his own words over and over in his mind.

How could he make her his companion and the empress of this country without frightening her or making her anxious?

When his thoughts reached that point, Farnese couldn’t help but ask himself a question.

‘Why am I trying to make her the empress?’

Like a thick root buried in the ground suddenly revealing itself due to a violent earthquake.

That short, single line of doubt was enough to cause a rough ripple in Farnese’s life, which had barely maintained peace until now.

Come to think of it, why did he want this woman named Katharine specifically?

In fact, if he wanted to have an empress, there were plenty of other options besides her.

He could have chosen a woman with a decent background that would help the development of the imperial family and placed her in the position, and that would have been enough.

Originally, royal marriages were like that.

Joining hands for mutual benefit, considering the best conditions.

It’s like business partners signing a contract saying, “Let’s do well together from now on.”

Farnese had grown up watching his father crumble miserably after making the wrong choice, blinded by that thing called love or destiny.

‘But why?’

Farnese walked and walked through the dark garden as if he had a destination.

Suddenly, he saw a familiar back.

Even though it was so dark around, only she, curled up small behind the shrubs, trembling, stood out in his vision as if a light had been turned on brightly.

“…Katharine.”

The moment their eyes met, the complicated thoughts filling his mind disappeared as if they had never existed.

What expression, what words, what voice should he use to convey to her.

All the plans he had meticulously made in his head while aimlessly wandering the garden shattered, and at the end, only pieces of an unfamiliar emotion remained.

He couldn’t yet know what the name of that piece was.

When he came to his senses, Farnese’s arms were already embracing Katharine’s slender body as if about to burst.

“Katharine. It’s okay.”

Something suppressed was trying to burst out of Farnese’s chest, which had been as unshakeable as a frozen winter lake.

Though he knew in his head that this couldn’t be happening unless he had gone mad, his mouth spoke words completely different from his thoughts.

“It’s okay, you can cry.”

“No. I’m not crying.”

“A person doesn’t always have to shed tears to cry.”

Katharine seemed a bit flustered, but soon relaxed her body and hugged him back.

When her small, soft cotton-like hands lightly touched his back, Farnese felt like he was facing an enormous threat he had never experienced in his life.

And at the same time, he realized.

If things continue like this, either she would ruin him or he would ruin her, one of the two would surely fall into the abyss.

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Katharine was perplexed.

It wasn’t because of Farnese, who had fiercely embraced her with blazing eyes as soon as their eyes met.

She was bewildered by herself for feeling relieved when helplessly drawn into his arms, and even hugging him back.

“Have you calmed down a bit?”

“Yes. I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?”

Shortly after, Farnese released Katharine and stepped back far away, as if trying to avoid some threat.

As if nothing had happened, he had returned to his original frosty, cold face.

After maintaining silence for a while in an awkward atmosphere, Farnese was the first to break the silence.

“It’s cold. Let’s go inside.”

Katharine nodded silently.

The place she entered following him was his private study, where Farnese spent his personal time alone and where not just anyone was allowed to enter.

“Would you like something to drink?”

“Ah, I’ll do it.”

As Katharine tried to step forward, he stopped her.

“It’s fine. Sit there.”

Katharine sat down awkwardly near the fireplace.

The sound of dry firewood crackling as it was engulfed by flames filled the room.

Farnese tilted the teapot on the table that someone had boiled.

“This room…”

“It’s the study my father and mother used together.”

He replied as he handed her a teacup.

Katharine carefully received it while looking around with unfamiliar eyes.

It was a completely different atmosphere from his official office, which was spotlessly tidy.

Could those boxes containing old seedling shovels and seed pouches be his mother’s belongings?

She thought it seemed too rough and crude for the hobby of someone who was once the empress of a country.

She had heard that she wasn’t even from a noble family, let alone an ordinary merchant family, but how could she have become the empress?

“There’s no particularly complicated story. It was because father fell for mother.”

Farnese spoke as if he had seen through Katharine’s thoughts.

He leaned slightly against the window, a bit away from where Katharine was sitting.

“Ridiculously, mother didn’t want to marry father. The ministers also opposed, saying there was no precedent for a commoner becoming empress. Mother becoming empress was solely the result of father’s endless stubbornness and self-righteousness.”

“I heard somewhere that the relationship between the previous emperor and empress wasn’t bad.”

“It wasn’t bad. That’s why it was a problem. Everything went wrong because they loved each other too much.”

Farnese gripped the damp windowsill forcefully.

“So I vowed. That I would never make such a foolish marriage like father. That I would never make the mistake of being blinded by love like father.”

His gaze fell on Katharine’s face.

His face was so cold that it was impossible to imagine he was the same man who had warmly embraced her with a confused and feverish face just a moment ago.

“I can give you everything you want. And you too, are a fine talent capable of leading my country, the Renel Empire, to great prosperity.”

“…”

“I think you can’t deny that we need each other now. So, answer me right here, right now.”

Farnese stepped closer and continued speaking.

“Will you become this Farnese’s first and last companion and take the world with me?”

Farnese’s face was too indifferent and dry for someone proposing.

It didn’t sound much different from saying, “Shall we join hands and do something together?”

That’s why Katharine was able to maintain her composure.

If he had confessed passionately with fire in his eyes, she would not have been able to accept it.

Cooperating with each other, giving and taking what they want, quietly maintaining a symbiotic relationship.

If it was that kind of political marriage, at least there would be no abandonment or betrayal.

“Yesterday and today, after countless thoughts, I realized. I need someone who will put a sword in my hand, not a flower.”

Katharine approached him while slowly untying her waist sash.

The ribbon that had been tightening her waist came loose with a rustling sound, and Katharine slightly lifted the hem of her dress.

The pale light illuminated her white abdomen, more precisely, the hideous scar that ran across her waist and lower belly.

Farnese quietly held his breath with slightly trembling eyes.

“People say that revenge is futile and only devastates one’s own mind. But Your Majesty, every night I wake up from nightmares hearing the resentful cries of the unborn baby.”

Katharine lowered her dress and tied her waist sash again.

Farnese was grinding his molars with calm but fierce anger in his eyes.

“Charlen and Rose. I don’t know yet what those two are hiding from me, but I feel too pitiful to forgive them. So if I become empress, I intend to use Your Majesty for my own selfish desires.”

Is that really okay with you?

Katharine asked again.

“My body is badly damaged from several accidents, and the possibility of having children is also slim. Even so, do you really…”

“What kind of sword would you like?”

Katharine slowly raised her head.

“…Pardon?”

“You said you needed someone to put a sword in your hand, not a flower.”

At that moment, Katharine saw an indescribable deep killing intent and desire for revenge rising in Farnese’s eyes.

But it disappeared in the blink of an eye, so she couldn’t know exactly what emotion it was rooted in.

“I will gladly become your sword and anger. And someday, when the bloodstains remaining on that blade fade away.”

Farnese grabbed Katharine’s soft cheek and pulled it gently without hurting her.

Katharine looked up at him strangely with her face stretched like rice cake.

“Then I will personally draw a bright smile on your face. I promise in the name of the Emperor of the Renel Empire.”

Katharine blinked her gradually warming eyes awkwardly and lowered her head.

How does he always defy expectations like this?

“Alright.”

Having made her decision, Katharine looked straight at him and said.

“I will become your empress.”