After finishing his shower, Hyun Woo shook his hair with a towel and wiped the moisture off his whole body.

He could faintly see his face and body reflected in the foggy mirror of the shower room.

Hyun Woo wiped the mirror with his palm, but it quickly became foggy again.

When he came out of the shower room wearing long sweatpants and a white shirt, Ha Yeon was tidying up the dishes from the food she had eaten.

He told her he would take care of the rest and encouraged Ha Yeon to take a shower.

Ha Yeon handed him the hair dryer, telling him to dry his hair well to avoid catching a cold, then went into the shower room.

Since Ha Yeon had almost finished cleaning up, Hyun Woo was able to finish tidying the dishes in less than 5 minutes, and he sat in front of the fireplace, filling a wine glass.

Being inside the log pension, the sound of water from the shower room reached Hyun Woo’s ears clearly.

Trying to ignore it, he looked at the fire in the fireplace, and Lucifer’s red tongue began to tempt him again.

‘Ha Yeon loves you. Tonight is your chance of a lifetime.’

It had been over 8 months since he cut off contact with So Hee.

As time passed, his guilt and remorse toward her dulled, and as his feelings for So Hee diminished, his feelings for Ha Yeon grew.

Hyun Woo wondered if he could handle her and her family if he were to love Ha Yeon.

It could be the opportunity of his life, but it could also be a disaster.

He didn’t know if Ha Yeon’s perfectionist father would truly accept someone as poor as him.

The words the chairman left him at the Hyatt Regency Hotel in Boston weighed on his mind.

‘You’re both students, so your studies and research shouldn’t be affected. You understand what I mean, right?’

The final emphasis on ‘You understand what I mean, right?’ could be interpreted as a threat if one thought about it.

It could be seen as an ultimatum that he wouldn’t forgive any disturbance to their studies.

The battle between angel and demon began again on Hyun Woo’s shoulders, and he couldn’t reach a conclusion until Ha Yeon finished her shower and came out.

Ha Yeon came out wearing light pink sleep pants and a white shirt, and dried her hair with the hair dryer.

Unlike So Hee’s long straight hair, Ha Yeon had a short cut style, so it didn’t take long to dry her hair.

“Elder brother, give me a glass of wine too.”

Ha Yeon drank wine, either because she hadn’t decided how to handle tonight or because she wanted to gain courage with the help of alcohol, and one glass turned into two.

Hyun Woo also drank wine while looking at the flames in the fireplace.

It was Ha Yeon who broke the silent stillness.

“Elder brother, there’s something I want to ask…”

“What is it?”

“When we kissed on Independence Day in July, I told you it was my first kiss, but you didn’t say anything. What did that mean?”

“…”

Hyun Woo couldn’t answer Ha Yeon’s question.

His first kiss was with So Hee, his first love was So Hee, and his first woman was So Hee.

Telling Ha Yeon this truth honestly would be cruel to her, but lying was also unacceptable to himself.

He could only remain silent.

On Independence Day, intoxicated by the music and atmosphere, he had kissed Ha Yeon for the first time by the Charles River, and even then, he couldn’t give a single word in response to her question.

Now, six months later, on a romantic night during their 1 night 2 day trip, Hyun Woo was caught off guard by the same sudden question.

As his silence continued, Ha Yeon looked into Hyun Woo’s eyes and said:

“Just as that kiss was my first, I would have liked it to be your first kiss too, but I think that’s just my greed. At your age… You must have kissed before, and been in love before. That’s natural. But…”

Ha Yeon couldn’t continue and took another sip of wine. Then, as if seeking confirmation, she said to Hyun Woo:

“I want to press the reset button on your love life. I want to erase everything from the past and be the only one in your present and future.”

“…Ha Yeon…”

“Elder brother, you know what I mean, right?”

Ha Yeon’s message was concise but powerful.

She was saying that she would forget and forgive everything from the past, but from now on, he should love only her.

Hyun Woo knew that if he said ‘Yes’ to Ha Yeon’s words, he would have her heart.

No, she had already given him her heart, and just wanted to reconfirm Hyun Woo’s decision.

Her father’s words at the hotel, “You understand what I mean, right?”, and Ha Yeon’s “Elder brother, you know what I mean, right?” overlapped in Hyun Woo’s mind, sounding like a warning.

Hyun Woo was scared, but with that warning engraved in his heart, he nodded affirmatively to Ha Yeon’s question.

Hyun Woo, who had tasted the dazzling luxury of the upper class at the S Hotel like opening Pandora’s box, wanted to grasp in his hands the open possibilities of the future that Lucifer’s red tongue was tempting him with.

Human desire knows no end.

When Hyun Woo gave the ‘Yes’ signal to the question Ha Yeon had asked as if seeking a promise, she took his hand as if she had been waiting for it, headed to the bed, turned off the lights, and lit a candle.

The candle placed on a small table by the bed seemed to be for Ha Yeon’s first love ceremony.

Hyun Woo laid Ha Yeon on the bed and kissed her as if performing a ritual.

A ritual of love, abandoning the past, living in the present, and gaining the future.

The candle flickered along with his loving gestures.

As he kissed and made love, Hyun Woo abandoned the night on Baengnyeong Island and his 5-year love with So Hee.

*****

As the new year dawned, the morning news showed footage of people watching the first sunrise of the year in the East Sea.

Mom asked me as I was breastfeeding Han Byeol:

“So Hee, you’ve never seen a New Year’s sunrise like that, have you?”

“Mom, I was so busy working part-time jobs to pay for school since high school, how could I have gone to see a sunrise?”

“Didn’t that Hyun Woo take you to see a sunrise even once while dating?”

“Mom, don’t speak ill of him while our Han Byeol is listening.”

Come to think of it, although it wasn’t a New Year’s sunrise, I had seen the orchestra of dawn on Baengnyeong Island.

After making love twice, I had watched the ever-changing sunrise with him in silence.

While enduring the pain of childbirth deeper than death, I had let go of him from my heart, but every time I looked at Han Byeol, who resembled him so much, he would suddenly come to mind.

On the first day of the new year, when Mom mentioned the sunrise, my memory dug up the sunrise from Baengnyeong Island that had been hiding with difficulty, making me think again of that painful day.

Although it had been 10 months since he left for America, my life was always like that, unable to completely erase him.

The child grew well, and while I tried to forget him, I lived feeling him every day in Han Byeol’s face.

Time passed like that.

One day in February, on the day Mom made the final debt repayment left by Father, she cried endlessly with tears mixed with sadness and joy while holding Father’s picture.

It was the kind of tears that came when debt ended and light began to shine.

As soon as Father’s debt was cleared, a good thing happened to our family like a ray of light.

The community center actively looked into the Hanmaeum Family Rental Housing support for us, and I applied for rental housing run by Seoul Metropolitan City, and luckily, I was approved for occupancy.

The community center staff was also happy, saying that my age in my 20s and being a single-parent family seemed to have acted as two priority factors for my selection.

As the selected rental housing wasn’t too far from the one-room apartment where I lived, I thought I could live a stable life in my familiar current environment.

As March arrived, the earth was tinged with light green grass, and people’s clothes became as light as the spring breeze.

I took Han Byeol to Rainbow Pediatrics for his second infant health check-up.

When I opened the door to the examination room, the doctor greeted us very warmly.

“Ms. So Hee, it’s not easy to meet by chance even though we live in the same neighborhood, is it?”

“…Pardon?”

“After seeing you at the neighborhood mart that time, I haven’t seen you once since.”

“…Ah, yes.”

The doctor gave the second vaccination and checked the chart measuring Han Byeol’s height, head circumference, and weight, which were exactly the same as his own.

At 4 months old, Han Byeol’s height was 68cm (98th percentile), weight was 7.2kg (59th percentile), and head circumference was 41cm (52nd percentile).

Han Byeol bravely endured two shots of the second vaccination for meningitis, DTaP, polio, pneumococcus, etc., in his small thigh without crying.

“Han Byeol seems to take after his mother, being very tall and slim. His head circumference is also perfectly normal. He’s staying well in his mother’s arms without crying even while getting vaccinated.”

The doctor was amazed, saying that in two years, he had never seen a newborn with the same name, but it was the first time he had seen such a brave child who didn’t cry while getting vaccinated for the second time.

Perhaps the child felt sorry seeing his mother struggling so hard?

Looking at the child’s smiling face in my arms, I felt my eyes getting hot.

“Ms. So Hee, you haven’t returned to work at the hospital yet, right?”

“No. I applied for 6 months of maternity leave, so I’ll be back to work in early July.”

“Can’t you take up to a year of maternity leave?”

“Yes, that’s true, but…”

I couldn’t bring myself to tell the doctor that I was returning to work early due to financial reasons.

Now that we had cleared all of Father’s debts, we could manage well enough with Mom’s income and my maternity leave pay combined, but we couldn’t afford to be generous as we needed to prepare the deposit for the rental housing we had been selected for.

“As you know well, the third infant check-up is at 9 months. You can make an appointment for early August when you leave, and come then. If Han Byeol gets sick before that, feel free to contact us anytime.”

“Yes, doctor. Thank you.”

As I was about to leave with Han Byeol in my arms, the doctor looked at me as if he had something more to say.

I suddenly became worried that there might have been an issue with Han Byeol’s heart or other organs during today’s health check-up.

“Doctor, there wasn’t any problem found during Han Byeol’s examination today, was there?”

“Ah, no, it’s not that. Han Byeol’s health is perfectly fine.”

“Your expression seemed like you had something to say, so I was worried. I thought there might be a problem with Han Byeol.”

I could see the doctor’s ears turning red. Regretting that I might have embarrassed him with unnecessary words, I was about to bow and leave when the doctor spoke up with difficulty.

I could see his pupils trembling slightly, and his voice was also slightly shaky.

“Ms. So Hee…”