First Love, First Breakup, First Child - Chapter 10
“Ha Yeon, you never talk about treating Dad to a meal, but you want to cook for Hyun Woo?”
Ha Yeon’s father felt upset that his beloved daughter only wanted to cook for another man, not for himself.
“Dad is always busy, and last year you just bought me tea and left. I wanted to cook dinner at the apartment today, but…”
“Haha. Our daughter is really good with words.”
Ha Yeon’s father glanced at Hyun Woo as if to confirm, then said:
“Hyun Woo, you’re both students, so your studies and research shouldn’t be disrupted. You know what I mean, right?”
“Yes, Chairman.”
As a father with a daughter, and a parent who had to be separated across the Pacific Ocean, the chairman’s request felt natural at a time when he was worried about his daughter’s choice but had to respect her love.
“You worry a lot even though Ha Yeon and Hyun Woo are adults now. Think about the old days. How old were we when we got married?”
“Well, I got married at twenty-nine. She’s old enough to take responsibility for her decisions.”
“Trust Ha Yeon and support her choice.”
Madam had a special trust in Hyun Woo.
She always helped Hyun Woo, who confidently took responsibility for her son’s admission to the business school at S University and took a bold first step as the successor of S Group, and trusted him as a person.
Ha Yeon’s father returned to New York right after the meal, and Madam stayed a few more days with Ha Yeon before returning to Korea.
Hyun Woo and Ha Yeon, who had obtained a tacit smile of permission from Ha Yeon’s parents, were able to spend the fall with a more comfortable mind.
*****
The first semester midterm exams at Hxxvard Medical School were a torment for everyone.
Students who failed the exams sat on the square steps of the medical school building, looking dazed, and some were even crying.
Even at a university where the best talent in the United States gathered, there was always the temptation to cheat for good grades, and students with cheat sheets were caught.
Every time an exam ended, Hyun Woo felt tense and his armpits were soaked with sweat.
After all the midterms were over, Hyun Woo went with Ha Yeon to a pub near Fenway Park, home of the Boston Red Sox baseball team.
“Oppa, did you do well on the midterms?”
“Yeah. Fortunately, I think I’ll avoid an F grade.”
“The first exams were a bit tough, right?”
“I’m still not 100% satisfied with writing my thoughts in English. It’s frustrating that the answers don’t come out the way I think.”
“If you endure one semester well, you’ll get used to writing and speaking.”
Ha Yeon, who had started a year before Hyun Woo, had the composure of a second-year student.
The two ordered a sampler where they could taste 16 kinds of craft beer and tried them one by one.
It was amazing that the beers of various colors had unique flavors and aromas.
Ha Yeon, who was weak to alcohol, only tasted the beers, while Hyun Woo, who was born to an alcoholic father, had a natural tolerance.
Due to his father’s many accidents caused by heavy drinking, Hyun Woo had gone back and forth between the police station and the emergency room as a child. Although his father passed away from cirrhosis caused by excessive drinking, he didn’t want to tell Ha Yeon that story.
He just glossed over it, saying that his father, who passed away early, was simply sick.
His pride didn’t allow him to tell Ha Yeon, who was 180 degrees different from So Hee who thoroughly knew and understood him, about his difficult childhood and his father who was immersed in alcohol.
After tasting all the samplers, Ha Yeon asked Hyun Woo:
“Oppa, what’s your dream? After you finish studying, are you going to become a professor at your alma mater?”
“I’m not sure yet. There’s still a long way to go. I’ll have to think about it around the time I finish my doctorate.”
“I heard your lab advisor is mentioned as a Nobel Prize candidate in medicine, being such an authority?”
“Yeah. He’s unrivaled in alcohol addiction research.”
“You just need to trust the professor and work hard on your research.”
“That’s right. Good papers are most important for us.”
Publishing a paper as the first author in ‘CNS’, known as the top 3 international journals Cell, Science, and Nature, was Hyun Woo’s primary goal.
Good papers were the most definitive evidence of marketability as a scholar.
Compared to the natural sciences, Ha Yeon’s literature field seemed to require much longer and more difficult work on papers.
Ha Yeon had always been an outstanding student since her time in Korea, and she showed excellent talent in the English Literature graduate program at Hxxvard, continuously receiving academic scholarships.
Her deep talent in literature and the arts was not something Hyun Woo could achieve even with effort.
The more time Hyun Woo spent with Ha Yeon, the more he felt a strange sense of inferiority towards her.
There was an inferiority complex about the environment he grew up in, but he also often felt intellectual inferiority towards Ha Yeon, who was like ‘Leonardo da Vinci’ with diverse knowledge, talent, and skills in various academic fields, not just her own.
Hyun Woo had no choice but to admit that there are parts of life that are hard to fill even with effort, and he asked himself several times why such parts exist, but he couldn’t find an answer.
The night in Boston only deepened like that.
*****
Working while pregnant was agony for a woman.
Especially for me, who had to struggle with patients and their guardians every day in the emergency room ward, it felt like fighting a battle every single day.
In September, as I entered the 7th month of pregnancy, dark pregnancy lines appeared on my belly and breasts, and my weight seemed to increase by 500 grams every week.
In proportion to my growing belly, the gazes of people gossiping also grew, and I decided to endure just one more month and take maternity leave.
Since someone’s absence is left as someone else’s added labor in hospital work, I found the nurses’ disgruntled looks difficult, and the curiosity-filled questions of caregivers were also burdensome.
‘Who’s the baby’s father?’
‘When are you getting married?’
‘Is it a boy? Is it a girl?’
‘Who will take care of you after giving birth?’
Sometimes it was worrisome words, but such questions sounded like bruising to my ears and only made my heart ache.
Many days I thought about sending him a text message or email, but the time of complete disconnection since last May seemed to show his heart, so I gave up.
As much as the distance grew, that person’s heart seemed to have completely drifted away.
However, I was still standing there, looking at that person and loving that person.
The gift he left was growing robustly in my belly, and feeling the baby’s movements that seemed to touch and kick my belly, I was missing the invisible traces of Hyun Woo.
I couldn’t bring myself to say those words to Mom, but I didn’t have any feelings of hate towards Hyun Woo at all. I didn’t resent him either.
I understood him.
He left, but he left a gift before leaving.
It was hard for me, but I felt a sense of responsibility to endure the remaining 2 months well and take good care of the gift he left so that it could see the bright light of the world in a healthy way.
The 3-shift work in the emergency room was so difficult that I changed to day work from 8 am to 6 pm in the outpatient department, but even that was burdensome with my growing body.
When I got home after work, no one was there.
Mom, who cleaned the building, went out early in the morning and continued the forced march of coming home after 7 pm.
“Mom, reduce your work a bit. You’ll collapse like that.”
“I have to earn money for diapers and formula, and there’s still Dad’s debt left. I have to work more while I’m even a year younger.”
Mom’s words tore my heart apart.
I never hated or resented the child in my belly that he left behind, and my feelings of love for him hadn’t changed, but the feeling of guilt for putting a burden like my own body on my mother’s back only grew as the due date approached.
“Mom, don’t worry too much. I’ll still get paid during maternity leave and I can apply for unemployment benefits. And we’re almost done paying off Dad’s debt.”
“Yes, if we endure just until this year, it seems we can live a debt-free life. We have to stay strong until then.”
“Mom, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t have such feelings, and focus on prenatal care. Now that it’s come to this, you have to give birth healthily and raise the child well.”
As if trying to convey a strong will to endure the tough reality to the child in my belly, Mom held my hand and said let’s stay strong.
The reality of life was painful, but the desire for a debt-free world piercing through the dark clouds like the sun made Mom strong, and I also gathered strength to prepare for childbirth.
September passed and October began.
On Saturday morning, I left home for a hospital checkup.
On the maple trees along the street, the leaves that had worked hard to hang on the trees in spring and summer were shining brightly in colorful hues as if exerting their last strength, brightening up the autumn.
The doctor doing the checkup at the hospital greeted me very kindly, perhaps because it was the third time seeing me, or perhaps he felt sorry for me coming alone without a boyfriend or husband.
“Have you been well? Are you still working at the hospital?”
“Yes. I submitted a request for maternity leave starting from October 12th.”
“It’s really hard to work at a workplace one or two months before giving birth. All men should experience a simulated pregnancy by attaching a 10kg belt around their belly to know that hardship. Hoho.”
“…Ah, yes.”
The little one shown on the ultrasound screen looked incredibly large compared to the second checkup.
“The fetus is taking a good posture with the head facing down in preparation for delivery. The height takes after Mom and is big. It’s about 42cm now. Oh my, look at it smiling at Mom.”
When the doctor placed the scanner on the baby’s face, the baby made an expression that looked like a big smile.
I felt like I was going to cry seeing the baby’s expression.
The baby smiling as if to give me strength as I struggled without a father looked infinitely lovely.
“Now the fetus moves a lot, wanting to come out into the world. During this period, muscles develop and the fetus’s movements and nervous system become active. As you know well, the auditory organs are also complete and sensitive to sound. Let the baby listen to good music.”
“Yes. When I come home, I try to play good classical music and think good thoughts.”
I had once seen a TV experiment showing that a plant that listened to good music and heard good words of love had much better growth compared to a plant that didn’t.
After work, I always played good classical music, stroked my belly, and told the baby in my belly that I loved it.
“The baby may be able to open its eyes and react to light.”
When the doctor turned on a small flashlight and held it to one side of my belly, the fetus’s face turned towards the light and its eyes seemed to react.
“You should start preparing for childbirth in earnest now. You’re curious about the fetus’s gender, right?”
“Yes, I’m really curious.”
I pulled the chair to sit and hear the doctor’s words more clearly.
“The fetus’s gender is…”
*
Save yourself from story hunger — the novel below will blow your mind!
One-line summary: Chasing the wife to the crematorium (making an effort to attract someone who has become indifferent), the female lead doesn’t look back, the second male lead takes the position.
Intro:
To repay the kindness of the older generation, Su Mu crossed into a female-dominated world and became a live-in daughter-in-law of the Yan family, single-handedly saving the Yan family from fire and water.
But her husband, Yan Jiyue, the eldest son of the Yan family, treated her with sarcasm and never showed her a good face.
It wasn’t until after Su Mu’s death that this pampered and arrogant young master shed a few fake tears and pretended to want to die for love.
This life’s kindness was enough. If there was a next life, she would definitely kick Yan Jiyue away.
Who knew that the heavens would be so kind as to allow her to be reborn, returning to the time when she had just married into the Yan family.
Su Mu glanced at the Yan eldest son, who still spoke coldly to her, and threw a divorce letter in front of him.
“Let’s divorce!”
***
Yan Jiyue never imagined that he would be reborn. He happily went to find Su Mu, wanting to make up for the mistakes he had made in his ignorant youth.
Wasn’t the reason the heavens allowed him to be reborn to let him reconcile with Su Mu?
But when he pushed open the door to Su Mu’s room, the person lying on the bed was another man.
Su Mu’s personal attendant, Xie Yi.
Yan Jiyue hated him so much that his teeth itched. In front of Su Mu, Xie Yi was a gentle and considerate whisperer of sweet nothings, but in reality, he was vicious-hearted and deliberately sabotaged their husband and wife relationship.
In the previous life, it was he who secretly hid in Su Mu’s coffin and committed suicide, stealing a step ahead of him to be buried with Su Mu.
Yan Jiyue’s eyes were filled with hatred as he cursed, “What kind of thing are you? Your background is lowly, what right do you have to occupy Su Mu?”
Xie Yi looked at the sleeping Su Mu and no longer pretended to be a whisperer of sweet nothings.
He proudly stuck out his belly, “I have the right because my belly is capable of giving the Wife-master a daughter.”
***
Yan Jiyue was consumed with jealousy. He spread rumors that Xie Yi had once been branded with the mark of a “harlot” on his chest.
But on the night Xie Yi cut off the flesh bearing that mark, Su Mu suddenly realized something was amiss.
“How did you know the exact moment I was poisoned? And why did you show up a month early?”
Xie Yi remained silent, blood from his wound soaking through his robes. His sapphire eyes brimmed with anguish – or was it just a flawless act?
Between a once-arrogant husband now seeking redemption, and a gentle soul willing to die for her – who truly held the darkest secrets? And could it be that Su Mu and Yan Jiyue weren’t the only ones given a second chance at life…?
[Reading Guide]
1. True divorce, chasing the wife to the crematorium, the female lead doesn’t look back, the male lead is Xie Yi.
2. The ex-husband did not cheat, he just realized too late and didn’t realize that he liked the female lead.
_____
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