At first, it was precious. At least it always was to me.

So tender and precious that I dared not let go or forget. Like an imprint etched in. That’s what firsts were to me.

To give away something so precious so easily.

Helena opened her mouth to utter words of refusal, unable to accept it.

“I’m going then. Don’t come back again, I’m tired.”

But, as always. Gelda was faster.

Even after the sound of the door closing, Helena stood still. Only after a while did she move slightly. She scratched at the groove carved into the sword’s hilt with her fingernail.

Helena. Her name was engraved there as if etched with a wedge.

That night, Helena lay in bed hugging the dagger still in its sheath. Her thoughts drifted to the ceiling as she stared blankly upwards.

‘I still don’t understand.’

How one doesn’t endure life, but simply lives it.

Death was now frightening, but that didn’t mean she knew why she should live. The heat she held seemed insufficient to long for life.

Amidst the countless intensities, it felt like such a small heat couldn’t even warm her feet.

Still, when she closed her eyes like this, and opened them again.

She thought it would be okay if tomorrow morning came, and the morning after that.

On and on.

The next afternoon, two men accompanied Helena. As they entered a slightly narrower path, Sakin asked from the left.

“Is your ankle completely healed now?”

“Everyone was too overprotective. It’s been fine for a long time.”

Helena paused briefly. She lifted her skirt and slightly extended one leg forward. Her ivory-like ankle was clean without any swelling.

Sakin’s small guilt finally disappeared completely. With an expression of swallowing a fish bone stuck in his throat, he urged:

“Still, it wouldn’t hurt to be careful.”

“Thank you for worrying.”

“But who brought the young lady here that day−”

“This way.”

Ian abruptly placed his hand on Helena’s shoulder and pulled her along. Sakin, whose question was cut off, pursed his lips. But soon understanding the reason, he too drew closer to the two.

Shortly after, a cart loaded with goods appeared from the alley. As cut logs protruded lengthwise from it, Ian pressed Helena closer to his body.

It was a natural contact, as if they were long-time lovers, and Helena naturally accepted the intimate touch.

The only one unnatural among them was Sakin. He had the face of someone who had miscalculated the amount of milk in butter cookies.

“Hmm… My lady, even if your husband isn’t by your side…”

“Did I say I was married?”

Sakin’s words were cut off for the second time.

Helena asked, still leaving Ian’s hand on her shoulder even though the cart had passed:

“Uh, well, um…”

Faced with transparent eyes, Sakin instantly became a chick with honey in its mouth. Ian shot him a sharp glance. Until then, he only mumbled with his lips.

It was only when Helena felt an odd tingling above her head that the words continued.

“No, it’s just… a feeling I had that you might have been…”

Helena’s brows furrowed slightly. She couldn’t know what that feeling was, but she didn’t particularly like it.

Not that it was particularly her concern either. But Helena corrected it anyway.

“I’m divorced.”

“Pardon?”

“No husband. I’m divorced.”

After firmly spitting out the words, Helena placed her hand on her chest, bracing for the pain to come. However, no matter how long she waited, the churning sensation did not appear.

Even though she had spoken of the end with you.

Seeming to know the reason, Helena raised her head. She immediately saw the corners of his mouth turned up in satisfaction above his straight jawline.

“Divorce doesn’t seem like news to be so happy about.”

“That’s right, it’s not good news.”

Helena’s brows drew even closer together.

“Then why are you smiling?”

“Did I? Oh my. I’ve been eating poorly lately, so sometimes the muscles around my mouth don’t listen. Besides, it’s grateful, isn’t it?”

“What is?”

“That that man is a fool who kicked away his luck with his own foot.”

“…”

Helena’s lips, which were about to retort immediately, quivered and closed.

It was a first. When everyone saw her as a Cinderella who had grasped luck, someone who called her the luck.

If there was a word made for her, she thought it would definitely be misfortune, but…

‘I am… luck, he says.’

Helena slowly savored just those two words. While she was doing so silently, his hand moved.

To think it was still resting on her shoulder. But not satisfied with that, it started to slowly move downwards.

It was a firm and warm sensation. Though she didn’t dislike it, Helena removed his hand. Then she strode ahead.

The two men, after briefly exchanging glances, slowly followed her.

That evening, Sakin and Helena were in charge of the meal.

The meal continued with everyone satisfied except for one person. That one person, Ian, had to wrestle with his oddly spicy lasagna.

“I’ve prepared plenty so you won’t eat poorly, so finish it all.”

Helena pushed an especially large plate towards him again.

Ian tried to smile while suppressing his burning tongue.

“Since you made it, of course.”

Beside the black shoes, burnt-out cigars were piled high. Eugene inwardly sneered as he rubbed his face dry.

‘Congratulations. You’ve won.’

The woman who had never deviated from his expectations was now not conforming to his predictions for even a moment.

The woman who had always lost was now winning over him at every turn.

Perhaps it was he who had started a losing love from the beginning. With that thought, Eugene’s wick was burning down moment by moment.

‘You’re saying it’s all my fault, Helena. But it doesn’t matter. Even if your heart has changed now, it doesn’t matter. I just have to make it change again.’

Although Helena Evergail was not a woman who changed easily, Eugene deliberately reassured himself that it was no big deal.

In the end, it was him she had chosen.

It was all her – falling helplessly in love first, giving everything to the relationship called marriage.

So she should have been the woman who fell in love as he molded her. She should have remained that naive woman still. He wished for her to be the foolish woman who left his embrace without knowing the ways of the world.

It was a crude wish, but if it was a wish that could be fulfilled with just that much, he could show his bottom as much as needed.

He took one last deep drag before roughly stubbing out the cigar in the ashtray. Soon after, the sound of footsteps emerging from the alley arrived straight at the destination without wandering.

It was the inn where they said they had often seen the red-haired woman, found after much inquiry.

“So you hid in a place like this.”

The inn was clean and quite large. However, it was located in an area somewhat distant from the bustling district where nobles mainly lived.

It was Helena who had discarded everything that didn’t fit the eyes of the world to become an elegant duchess. It seemed somewhat dubious for her to have stayed at such a place, but he was in no position to be picky.

If it was a place where even a wisp of her breath had touched, he would thoroughly search even a dirty sewer.

“Welcome… sir.”

The innkeeper, who had opened his mouth cheerfully as soon as the bell rang, shrank his voice upon discovering Eugene’s demeanor.

Eugene immediately described Helena’s appearance. The innkeeper seemed to recognize it. A flash of elation appeared in Eugene’s eyes.

‘Finally.’

I’ve finally caught your tail.

Eugene barely opened his dried vocal cords to urge him on. The atmosphere was ominous, so the innkeeper carefully sifted through his memories.

“That young lady… She seemed to be visiting Futoa for the first time, wandering around the village every day without fail and always returning in the evening.”

“When did she check out?”

“It’s been… about two weeks, I think.”

A sigh escaped through Eugene’s teeth.

The timing was truly exquisite. As if she knew he had arrived, she left Futoa as soon as he set foot there.

‘Are you trying to run away from me?’

His teeth ground together. The innkeeper, mistaking Eugene for a security officer due to his well-tailored uniform, watched cautiously and asked:

“But why are you looking for her… Did she steal something? I thought they were an upright couple…”

“Couple?”

The energy sharpened at that single word. The innkeeper continued hesitantly.

“I remember she was always with her husband. He was so worried about something that he kept his wife all wrapped up. No wonder, the woman looked a bit ill at first. She seemed so devoid of vitality that I wondered if my hand would pass through if I touched her.”

‘I’m her husband, who on earth is she going around with, Helen.’

Now Eugene’s jaw was clenched so tightly that veins stood out.

The innkeeper, not noticing him as he mulled over events from a few weeks ago, began rummaging under the counter.

“He was so attentive, I thought he might even bathe her… Oh, come to think of it, there’s one item they left behind. I forgot to give it to them after washing it, so it remained here.”

‘Bathe her?’

In the innkeeper’s hand as he stood up was a familiar garment.

It was the clothes Helena had worn when she left Evergail, the last memory of her in his mind.

A dizzying vertigo struck as everything became clear.

‘You walked the streets, shared time, and used the same room with someone I don’t know.’

And you’ll continue to do so unless I find you.

You’ll live beside someone other than me.

‘How dare you.’

⌜I’ll go look for her myself.⌟

Suddenly, the voice of the man he had met before came to mind.

The man who had asserted he would recognize Helena at a glance.

‘Could it be with that man…’

Thinking that man might have gotten ahead of him, Eugene’s intestines twisted. More than twisted, his insides ached.

He couldn’t bear even the thought of that man’s hands touching her white skin. A dark red emotion like nausea swirled. It spread throughout his body through his blood, dominating his entire being.

‘Whether I catch you or not, you were planning to leave from the beginning. Abandoning me, with that bastard.’

Helena was not a being to be shared with anyone.

She was wholly his. His complete possession.

She was a woman who had volunteered to be so from the moment she met him. She shouldn’t have given him these kinds of emotions.

There was a cracking sound from Eugene’s grip. Unknowingly, he had applied too much force and broken the counter.

“Um… are you alright?”

The shopkeeper cautiously asked after observing. Instead of answering, Eugene removed his hand and stepped back. Crushed wood fragments fell to the floor.

Like dark red lumps he had failed to contain and spilled.

Eugene regretted once again.

‘You should have at least given me a chance to bring you back, Helena.’

He should have imprisoned her from the beginning, even if it meant breaking her legs.