Even if Your Regret Holds Me Back - Chapter 52

It was already the entrance to the forest where trees grew densely. The heavily armed guild members began to get into battle formation, each checking their weapons.

“I wish you luck, Helen.”

A soft yet weighty voice offered a brief greeting to her as she examined her blade.

Gelda lightly patted Helena’s shoulder as she passed by. Her mane-like black hair that covered her back swayed.

Swoosh-.

The rustling wind swept through the lush leaves as if combing through hair. Along with it, a dense energy enveloped her whole body. As she felt it, Helena suddenly realized.

‘I’m… really going hunting.’

The fact that she would properly face the sword that she thought had no other way but to give up.

Gelda, who had already taken the lead again, looked around the group and advised:

“As usual, the front assault team be careful of one-hit kills, and the rear guard focus on filling in the gaps without fail. The moment you get distracted, it’s over, huh? Even if it’s not over, I’ll end it myself. And above all…”

“Oh, boss! We’ve heard it so much that even a blockhead like me has it memorized.”

When a grumbling lament erupted from the corner, Gelda shot a fierce glare.

“Then say it.”

“Huh? What?”

“Loudly. If you’re going to mumble vaguely, you’ll have to pay the price for interrupting me.”

The stiffened guild member squeezed his eyes shut and shouted.

“Patren’s motto! Even if you die, I will live! I must live!”

It was a rather unique creed for a group like a guild to have. However, Gelda shouted resoundingly to the crowd:

“Did you all hear that? I hope you always prioritize your own life over any half-baked comradeship. Do your best to protect yourself. That’s also the way to help others.”

Gelda, with a heavy spear slung over her shoulder, commanded energetically.

“Now, move out!”

The hunt had begun.

[This is the timeline separator]

Slash! Slash!

Every time the tip of the sword drew an arc, the body fluids of the monsters splattered everywhere.

Not only her clothes but also her pale cheeks were stained dark, but Helena didn’t stop. The more relentlessly she swung her sword, the more corpses piled up at her feet.

Two level 3 Prixos and Dragoons each, one level 2 Actaeon.

Though she was somewhat out of breath, it wasn’t a situation where she would be overwhelmed.

Beside her, Gelda was just pulling out her spear from a Dragoon’s nape. She let out a chuckle and said:

“Seems like it suits you quite well.”

Helena also shook off the byproducts on her sword and took a breath.

“I don’t dislike it.”

“Is that all?”

“What do you mean…?”

“You don’t know yourself well enough.”

Helena looked at Gelda with eyes still unable to read her intention.

Gelda rubbed the smudge on Helena’s forehead with her gloved hand. Just as she seemed to be wiping it off, she lightly flicked her finger.

“Go on now. Go do what you like to your heart’s content.”

Helena reflexively opened her eyes that she had closed. Her hand went to her brow where Gelda had tapped.

Not because it hurt, but because it stung as if her flicking finger had hit a vital point.

But it wasn’t an unpleasant sting. It was a stimulus that made her grip the sword even tighter.

⌜Put that down, Helena.⌟

For a moment, Eugene’s voice swept through her mind, but it soon faded away.

‘Maybe it wasn’t such a foolish thing after all.’

It was as if she was proving that all the time until now hadn’t been entirely in vain. A faint sense of elation coursed through her veins.

Slash!

The speed of her sword strikes increased even more. Helena ventured deeper into the forest, unaware of her fatigue.

By now, another Dragoon and Actaeon had been buried in the mound of earth. Her advance gained momentum.

However, just as she crossed over a large tree stump, she came to a halt.

‘It’s suffocating.’

The stuffy air choked her throat. It was as if the body fluids had dissolved directly into the air.

Soon, a large shadow loomed before her eyes. The hand gripping the sword blade began to tremble involuntarily.

Helena barely swallowed her dry saliva and slowly raised her head.

Grrrr-.

An eerie howling scratched at the back of her neck, making her hair stand on end. The sheer pressure of its existence made her nose tingle.

It was a level 1 monster, Cerberus, which even the knights of Evergail needed at least two people to barely capture.

The eyes visible among the lumpy black fur were as hot as heated iron. All six of them were directed at Helena.

Bang!

The first head attempted an attack. Helena barely rolled out of range. Teeth as thick as her forearm left deep marks in the ground and disappeared.

Loose strands fell from her neatly tied-up hair. Without time to fix it, the next attack came.

Boom!

The boulder struck by Cerberus’s mighty paw instantly shattered into pieces. The thought that she would have ended up like that if she had been a little slower made all the fine hairs on her body stand up.

Helena gritted her teeth and swung her tightly gripped sword. She desperately created small openings bit by bit. But she couldn’t match the strength of a monster that surpassed ordinary boundaries.

Clang!

The blade that clashed with the claws barely managed to slice the flesh under the jaw before breaking in two and flying away. The cruel reality drew even closer.

‘No. It’s beyond my current skills.’

It was dangerous.

It was an extremely dangerous situation, and equally dangerous… incomprehensible thoughts.

In this critical moment, Helena suddenly became aware of it.

‘I’m afraid of dying.’

Despite once longing for death so desperately, despite the days when she only wished for eternal rest to end the endless cycles.

She thought she was afraid of dying.

For the first time.

‘Why… me? What am I still attached to?’

The shock that poured over her like cold water dispersed her senses. Clearly her eyes were seeing the rough claws flying straight at her, but as if her thoughts had shackled her, her feet wouldn’t move.

Beeeep-.

Only the red alarm blaring in her head rang loudly. Her vision shook wildly.

The death she no longer wished for was right before her eyes.

And at that moment.

“Excuse me.”

Ian appeared like the wind, pushing Helena back and standing in front of her. In an instant, Helena’s view was filled with his large back.

The back that would be covered with countless scars under the stiff leather fabric.

The man who had finally become her attachment.

While she was staring at him in a daze, the front paw that was striking directly was cut off. Cerberus raised its middle head to the sky and let out a pain-filled roar.

Her vision became even more chaotic. Her heart pounded violently. It hurt enough to make her ribs ache.

Helena couldn’t tell. Whether it was because of Cerberus’s sound waves, or because of Ian’s dramatic appearance.

Just seeing that broad back made all the distracting thoughts and noises gnawing at her entire body disappear.

‘I’m not afraid of anything.’

It wasn’t the kind of abandonment like before, when she didn’t care if she died.

‘With you here, I’m not scared.’

It was a certainty conveyed through trust. The certainty that he wouldn’t let her die.

Until now, Eugene was the only person who made her afraid. Other than that, she wasn’t afraid of anything. That’s what she thought.

‘Until I met this man.’

Helena finally became aware of the death she had become numb to. She even began to fear the thought of her life, which she had only wanted to throw away, ending like this.

But paradoxically, she found reassurance in the man who had awakened her fear. It was inexplicably welcome and absurd. Unbelievably, she even let out a small laugh in this situation.

At that moment, Ian glanced back. After checking on Helena, he hesitated for a moment.

“…Do you know?”

After throwing out the question, he faced Cerberus again. The enraged monster’s strike exploded out, but Ian was unhurried.

Of course, it was an unhurried but precise and powerful movement. The blade imbued with sword energy struck down the second head.

“When you smile, I feel like I can do anything.”

Thud. The cleanly cut head rolled on the ground. Another ear-splitting roar followed.

As Helena covered her ears, Ian cut off the first head that was making noise as well. It looked as simple as slicing smoked ham for breakfast.

In that sense of dissonance, Helena blinked. She stared blankly at the infinitely alien and gentle uninvited guest who had suddenly appeared in her life.

‘Was meeting you a coincidence?’

How did someone like you end up standing in front of me?

Helena took a deep breath. Her blurred vision soon settled, once again capturing the forest scenery and Ian standing straight.

His presence alone had long since overturned the crisis.

And true to its level 1 status, Cerberus was quite intelligent.

Before Ian could swing his sword again, Cerberus began to slowly back away. Eventually, it lowered its tail and turned its body to retreat completely.

The energy that swirled around Ian’s sword blade was still intense. It was a presence that even the monster’s instincts could measure. Helena was feeling it deep in her bones as well.

“Ah…!”

Her legs, weakened by the overwhelming aura he emitted, gave out against her will and she sat down.

Moreover, Helena was actually quite exhausted. She just hadn’t realized it until now, being completely immersed in the exhilaration.

She tried to get up again by pushing on her knees but gave up. Though it was clearly her own body, it just wobbled like pudding.

“There don’t seem to be any more around, so just stay seated.”

Ian instructed as he brushed aside the various body parts of Cerberus scattered around with the tip of his sword.

Then he plucked a large monstera leaf to wipe his sword. The sword that was only a little dirty but without a single scratch, still intact.

Helena’s gaze went to her own blade broken in two pieces in the distance before returning to Ian.

“It broke.”

Though it was the sword that had broken, Helena spoke as if she herself had broken.

Ian approached, wrapping her shattered sword in leaves and putting it in the sheath.

“I told you, didn’t I? We live together to support each other even when we break and fall.”

Unlike his firm tone, his expression looked a bit sheepish.

By now, the sheath had become heavy with Cerberus’s claws added in. Ian slung it over his shoulder and let out a small sigh.

“I’m glad I arrived in time… It’s also my fault for not teaching you how to pace yourself beforehand.”

Ian stopped at Helena’s feet. He brushed back his silver hair that had become somewhat darkened.

Helena slowly raised her gaze from Ian’s stained pant cuffs to his face.

Even though she was no longer out of breath and there were no more monsters, the sensation of her insides churning remained. Seeing that handsome face despite his obviously messy appearance made it even worse.

It was the kind of thing that was too ticklish and unbearable to hold in anymore. So this time, Helena decided to spit it out instead of swallowing it.

Helena extended her arm toward Ian.

“Hold my hand.”

It was truly two courageous words.