“Where are you going?”

Helena’s steps, hurrying toward Eugene’s office, came to a halt. Natasha stood blocking her way on the stairs, just as she was about to grasp the railing to go down.

As always, with a picturesque smile on her lips, habitually resting her hand on her belly.

They say a pregnant woman’s swollen belly is a symbol of abundance. Then shouldn’t her heart feel more abundant every time she sees the mass growing larger day by day?

Helena herself felt like a withering autumn leaf. Dried up without a trace of moisture, feeling as if she would vanish forever from this world under the careless step of a shoe.

“Where are you going? If it’s the dining room, it’s in the opposite direction since it’s almost lunchtime.”

When Helena didn’t answer, Natasha asked again. Her strange gaze was fixed on Helena’s right hand. More precisely, on the tightly sealed brown envelope.

Helena moved her arm back slightly as if to hide it and replied.

“Since when have you been so interested in me?”

Though her tone wasn’t particularly cold. Dark clouds quickly gathered on Natasha’s face.

“I was just trying to get closer to you, my lady… I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I’ll be more considerate in the future.”

Who’s being considerate of whom?

Helena’s grip unconsciously tightened. She could feel the stiff envelope crumpling. This woman was drying her out again. In an instant, her tongue felt parched to the root.

A deep breath was necessary to avoid sounding like a fool.

“Then you should also know that stepping aside would be considerate. It’s not pleasant for either of us to see each other’s faces.”

Helena turned sideways to quietly pass by her. But Natasha moved with her, blocking her path again.

“Why do you speak so harshly? Our child is listening too.”

“…Child.”

“Yes, the child of the Grand Duke and me. Am I being too much? But this is a time when even pretty and nice things are not enough to hear. You understand, don’t you?”

Natasha’s smooth hand rubbed her swollen belly. Helena couldn’t bear to look at it anymore and turned her eyes away.

“You ask for my understanding while failing to understand what I just said?”

“Don’t be like that, let’s go down together. I’ve been worried because it seems you’ve been skipping meals these past few days.”

“I told you to move aside.”

“Why do you keep doing this? It’s upsetting. Why don’t you appreciate my efforts?”

“You’re the one pretending not to know. Or are you so ignorant as to not realize that unwanted efforts are just meddling, Natasha?”

Helena didn’t want any more conversation. But since Natasha stood firm without budging, she had no choice but to avoid her first.

Just as she was about to take a step to go down the stairs. Suddenly, Natasha started screaming.

“My lady, please don’t do this!”

As if she had tripped on something, Natasha’s body fell backwards. Helena quickly reached out her hand to catch her. Terribly, she missed Natasha by a hair’s breadth.

No, did she really miss?

An untimely doubt arose for a moment. Though she didn’t want to believe it, the expression she glimpsed as her fingertips brushed past her…

She was smiling.

It was the first time she had seen someone’s fall appear so slow. Her smooth blonde hair fluttered like golden threads in the air.

Helena froze as if she had suddenly fallen into sub-zero temperatures. The thud before her eyes sounded as distant as a sound echoing in a dream.

It was Eugene, running from behind, who awakened her from her frostbite. How long had he been watching? His hand pushing her aside was fierce. Helena collapsed weakly to the floor.

“Natasha!”

Ah. You call that woman’s name first again. As always.

Helena wished this moment was just a dream.

Natasha woke up half a day after the incident.

Helena looked up at the man who had come to her bedroom after a long time. Because of his angry expression, even the simple act of lifting her eyelids made her heart pound.

As their eyes met, a sharp, dry sigh fell. Eugene swept back his disheveled hair and reported the situation.

“Natasha will recover in a few days, and the child is fine too.”

She swallowed words like ‘I knew it’ or ‘I wasn’t really curious’. Because they wouldn’t be the answers he wanted.

But she didn’t want to easily show the attitude he desired either. Helena stubbornly kept her mouth shut.

Seeing her like this, Eugene expressed his rising anger.

“You should know how fortunate this is. If anything had happened to those two, both you and I…!”

“It’s a misunderstanding.”

Helena, who hated being wrongly accused more than death, uncharacteristically interrupted him. When Eugene stopped speaking and looked at her, Helena repeated.

“It’s a misunderstanding. I never laid a hand on Natasha.”

“Then are you saying a person who was standing perfectly fine deliberately fell?”

“You may not believe me, but it’s true. Why would I hurt Natasha for any reason?”

“You’re just taking out your anger.”

“What do I have to be angry about?”

Eugene snorted and placed his palm on her waist, pulling her close. Helena stood on her tiptoes, but couldn’t resist his strong grip.

“Do you want to play the saint now? But it’s too late for that, Helena. You should have taken care of your body since the days you were begging on the streets.”

Helena flinched. His voice sounded vicious for a moment. It was also because of his large hand slowly tracing up her pelvis.

Eugene pressed his thumb firmly under Helena’s breast, rubbing the smooth satin dress.

“See, there’s not even room for my child to enter now.”

Helena swallowed a gasping breath. It wasn’t even pressed that hard. But she couldn’t catch her breath from her lungs that felt as if they had burst like an arrow had pierced through.

“Are… are you serious?”

“Is there any reason I shouldn’t be? At least Natasha is giving me what I want. Like you did for me.”

Helena couldn’t argue. It was true. Like she did.

Yes, like she ‘did’.

Helena lowered her head to hide the tears that were starting to well up.

Where did the man go who said it was okay if a child didn’t come, that her being healthy and not in pain was most important? Who would lovingly caress her flat belly and kiss her forehead?

Her nose stung. Just when she thought she couldn’t hold back anymore, thankfully Eugene’s body pulled away.

“Don’t make me turn my back on you completely.”

Bang. The thick mahogany door closed with a loud sound. Helena’s legs gave out and she collapsed in a heap.

It was clearly her room and her own space firmly embedded in Evergale. But it made her feel like a prisoner endlessly grasping iron bars and waiting.

Helena murmured, trying to swallow her sobs.

“…All I can see is your back already.”

Helena stood with emotionless eyes in front of the bright cream-colored door. She knocked with the back of her hand, avoiding the parts decorated with iron and gold, and a clear voice answered.

“Come in.”

It helped quite a bit to repeatedly tell herself, as if brainwashing, that her carved-out heart was not inside her now. She didn’t tremble as much as she had worried.

As she opened the door and entered, the bed with its pearl-colored canopy pulled back on both sides immediately caught her eye.

“I didn’t expect you to come in person, my lady.”

Natasha greeted her with a smile from the soft, glowing place bathed in gentle sunlight.

Helena suddenly looked down at her feet. Why did she feel like she was standing on a rotten, festering puddle in the same space?

Reminding herself of her resolution once again, Helena held out the bouquet she had brought. Natasha received it and touched the fully bloomed flowers a couple of times before burying her nose between them.

“Mm— Gloxinias. My favorite flower.”

She continued, exhaling the breath she had inhaled.

“You wouldn’t have known… Did the Grand Duke order this?”

Helena was glad that her eyes were still fixed on the bouquet. At least there was no need to worry about her expression being caught.

“…You know too, Natasha. The only reason you could set foot in this mansion was purely because of Eugene’s need.”

As soon as she managed to regain her emotionless face, Natasha looked up.

“I understand you want to comfort yourself like that… But stop pretending to be noble. You were in the same position as me anyway. There’s no need to strain your neck so hard in front of me. I understand everything.”

“No. You don’t know anything.”

“Everyone misunderstands like that.”

Natasha let out a small laugh. It wasn’t the always bright smile she usually wore. Perhaps that’s why it felt out of place, like forcibly wearing ill-fitting clothes.

“But there are no coincidences in this world, my lady.”

With eyes as innocent as could be, she began to casually spout words that were hard to digest.

“Only fate created by effort pushes my back. How much more rejection do you need to realize that there is no one on your side?”

Natasha lowered her gaze to the bouquet again. Her slender fingers hovered over the red lushness.

“The attitude you should have now is not to meekly bow before me with this measly bouquet because he told you to.”

The loving touch caressing the flowers suddenly crumpled. The carelessly crushed gloxinias broke off from their stems with a snap.

Natasha unfolded the paper wrapping the entire bouquet and let it fall. The flowers scattered like torn butterfly wings.

“It’s about giving up. Stop turning a blind eye. What you can change.”

In the brief pause between breaths, meeting those green eyes. To Helena, frozen in place like a statue, she whispered.

“There’s nothing.”

It was a snake-like voice. A secretive, sticky, choking whisper.

She couldn’t breathe. But Helena didn’t struggle to breathe.

Her eyes burned but she didn’t cry. She didn’t pour out her anger at the woman now openly provoking her.

She simply picked up the crumpled gloxinias, carefully straightened the broken stems, and stubbornly placed them in the vase on the bedside table.

Then, as she wished, or as Helena herself wished.

“Then live, Natasha.”

She revealed the inner thoughts behind her mask.

“Please. Just don’t die.”

“…?”

“If I can’t change anything, at least you should change.”

Natasha’s expression became strange. It was a bit odd for someone who had heard incomprehensible words. It was closer to someone who had an unexpected weakness exposed.

Helena, with clouded vision, couldn’t read it.

She simply pleaded as if in a monologue.

“Even if it’s an unfair god, please.”

Let me die too for once.

Finally, the day of departure arrived.

Helena walked following Gelda, who stood at the front, with her arms crossed as if embracing herself. The guild group was heading towards the forest with the just-rising sun at their backs.

The chilly early morning air seeped in between them. Whether due to the damp mist seeping in, or because of the dream about Natasha that made her toss and turn last night. The cold temperature felt like it was clinging even more to her skin.

Ian, walking beside her, pulled her close with his right arm and rubbed her forearm as he said.

“Be careful not to let your clothes get wet from the dew. It’s easy for body temperature to drop in the forest where sunlight doesn’t reach.”

“You be careful too. Don’t get caught off guard for no reason.”

“Then I shouldn’t be by your side.”

He rubbed her forearm a few more times and let go. It was just that brief contact, but it felt like her body temperature had risen a bit.

Or maybe… it was because of the slight heat that rose from his words.

Helena stopped walking without increasing the close distance between them.