‘How did he know to come here? Damn it…’

He looked down at the woman he had practically trapped in his arms.

Helena, who had been pushed almost to the point of being pinned down, met his gaze calmly instead of being flustered. Perhaps due to a sense of déjà vu, she remained composed.

“I suppose some ill-mannered ruffians must have passed by again.”

“…”

The mouth that usually spat out answers without hesitation was uncharacteristically sealed shut. Helena looked at him quizzically, but at this moment, Ian’s attention was entirely focused on the window outside.

Meanwhile, Eugene was just wandering in front of the salon where Helena was, with hurried steps.

Ian pressed his body even closer to the corner. He had to endure in this position at least until he passed by.

Ian covered Helena as if he could swallow her up with his large back. Fortunately, there was a pillar in the center of the shop, so from the outside, it would likely appear as if a man was standing alone due to the angle.

Ian exhaled softly with his arm against the wall Helena was leaning on. Helena blinked, feeling an unfamiliar yet not strange pressure.

Through the slightly open collar of his shirt, she could see his chest rising and falling. She wanted to turn her head away out of awkwardness, but he had pressed so firmly against her that it wasn’t possible.

The illusion of the previous situation replaying before her eyes even arose.

The scent of soap after a shower.

The heat rising from taut skin.

Droplets of water trailing along the contours of muscles.

It was difficult to convince herself why that scene came to mind at this moment.

‘Is it because it’s been a while since I left Eugene… How pathetic.’

The feeling of occasionally thinking about a man other than Eugene was strange. To the point where she didn’t want to acknowledge it.

Helena asked, as if trying to erase her complicated feelings.

“You’re being chased, aren’t you?”

It was actually something she had been curious about. Not only had she been cornered like this by him more than once or twice, but he always seemed accustomed to surveying his surroundings.

Moreover, he always walked only through sparsely populated alleyways and always wore a deeply hooded robe.

It was somewhat suspicious to dismiss it as just a protective measure, considering what had happened at the fruit shop last time.

As if his profession wasn’t really a merchant, but a thief.

“Did you steal money too?”

Helena stubbornly added. Ian’s gaze quickly darted to the window and then back to Helena.

The closely pressed body moved away again.

Ian turned around as if nothing had happened. Then he started looking at clothes.

Helena followed right behind him, as if chasing the vanished warmth.

However, after taking a few steps, Ian suddenly stopped, causing her to hastily brake with her feet.

In his turned hand was a green dress with a natural sheen. Ian held the dress up to Helena and answered.

“Half right, half wrong.”

He handed the dress to the waiting clerk with a faint smile. The clerk seemed accustomed to his visits and took the dress.

Helena slightly furrowed her brow at the ambiguous answer. In the meantime, another dress was held up to her.

“I’ve only taken back what was originally mine, so I don’t think there’s any problem.”

Helena’s furrowed brow didn’t smooth out even with the additional answer.

Ian handed the new dress to the clerk as well and this time picked up a dress decorated with frills shaped like flowers.

“Or are you perhaps worried about me?”

“Who…!”

Helena was about to get angry at Ian’s nonchalant question but stopped and closed her mouth.

Her crumpled face remained the same, but at least her suspicion towards him was withdrawn.

Helena didn’t want to be curious about him. She wanted even less to show any sign of such curiosity.

How long had it been since she left Eugene? She couldn’t allow even a small part of herself to be occupied by this man.

‘Get a grip. If you know it’s pathetic, you should stop.’

She pushed away the dress Ian was holding up to her body. Along with it came a small sigh of resignation, declaring that she hadn’t even recovered her investment.

“I don’t like flashy things.”

“It suits you well though.”

“…”

How prettily… how carefreely he smiles.

Helena, momentarily at a loss for words, fixed her eyes on that clean-cut face.

But in the end, she turned her head away.

“I still don’t like it. It’s too eye-catching.”

A grand ballroom, spinning lights, murmuring laughter.

Even in a single ordinary dress, the times that had eaten away at her were embedded.

The fable of the fox who couldn’t reach the grapes high up on the tree and ended up saying, “Those must be sour grapes” to comfort itself.

Helena thought that she herself was those sour grapes.

Of course, there was one difference from the fable: she really was sour grapes.

So it was only natural that everywhere her feet touched became a thorny path. Knowing this yet having to jump into the thorns was as familiar as it was always painful.

‘Still, I endured looking only at you. I always hoped you would come.’

It was the day she attended a party after a long time, wearing the dress Eugene had given her as an anniversary gift.

It was an occasion where even the nobles from Eugene’s family side were attending, so she had to be more careful than usual.

But from the moment she left the grand duke’s residence, the long hem of her dress kept catching on her feet. Just as she was feeling a bit uneasy, as if openly cursing her misfortune, she ended up falling right in the middle of the ballroom.

Before she could even register the pain in her wrist that had hit the floor, whispers rained down from all directions, not quietly at all.

⌜That’s what happens when you wear something beyond your station. What’s the use of dressing up and covering up so grandly when you’re just a straw doll with nothing inside.⌟

⌜Tsk, how desperately she must have wanted to pretend to be noble…⌟

⌜Go help her up, is there no one? Oh my, how pitiful. Where is Duke Evergale now?⌟

Eyes everywhere, all looking only at her.

Piercing eyes. Suffocating eyes.

A dark red monster growing bit by bit, starting to devour her alive.

Just as she began to tremble miserably at the suffocating fear, the floor shook once, then sucked her in like a whirlpool and sank down.

The whispers subsided, and ordinary noise took their place.

Helena swallowed dryly and pressed her fingernail hard into the flesh of her palm.

‘It hurts.’

It was reality.

She was relieved to have escaped from the past hallucination without much fuss. The hallucination didn’t feel as malicious as before.

Slowly closing and opening her eyes, this time she found him staring intently at her.

‘Would it be my imagination if those two eyes look sad?’

While Helena was letting that idle thought drift away, Ian put the dress he was holding back in its place.

Click, almost simultaneous with the metal hangers colliding, his voice fell.

“I have no intention of forcibly imposing a taste that doesn’t suit you. But Helena.”

He carefully pulled her hand. Then, gently rubbing the nail marks left on her palm, he said,

“It’s not that the clothes are eye-catching because they’re flashy, but I think you’re eye-catching because it’s you.”

“…I suppose so.”

I was a mismatched piece from the beginning anyway.

Helena hung her head low. Ian’s grip on her hand tightened momentarily.

A woman who couldn’t hate others and ended up hating herself. He gently lifted her chin.

Those transparent blue eyes were too dazzling to simply hate.

“There are people who can’t bear originally bright things, and there are also people who recognize them.”

Their locked gazes trembled finely.

Ian pressed his thumb firmly against Helena’s lower lip to prevent her from biting and wounding her delicate flesh. The red flesh dimpled with a faint elasticity.

“I know it’s not easy to choose which words to listen to… but I wish you would only hear words that could make you smile.”

So he swallowed the words asking her to keep him by her side. It would be cruel to give certainty when he couldn’t take responsibility for this woman’s entire life.

To her, and to himself.

He was not in love with her. He simply wished for her happiness. So he shouldn’t cross the line.

He just needed to be faithful to the present. His role should end with doing his best for her faithfully.

The worst situation would be to force affection on a woman who had already burned everything and only ashes remained.

He hoped such a situation would never occur until the very last moment.

‘Don’t forget the purpose of coming here.’

Ian barely withdrew his hand as he gently stroked Helena’s lips. It was he who secretly gritted his teeth.

Helena, lowering her eyelashes to hide her eyes, stumbled over her words.

“I, that’s…”

Words that could make her smile? Could there be laughter from joy?

‘Would there even be someone to say such things to me in the first place?’

She tried to say it was impossible, but the words seemed to get stuck in her throat and wouldn’t come out easily.

She rolled her eyes a few more times before changing her words.

“It’s difficult right now.”

Her slender shoulders sank slightly with her exhaled breath.

Ian, who had already contained his emotions, moved on to the next hanger without minding. Pretending to be calm seemed as easy for him as blinking.

Finally, he chose a black dress with crimson accents and handed it to the employee. Then he casually picked up any clothes for himself and paid for them together.

Ian lightly picked up the large paper bag and led Helena back outside.

After releasing his hand from the silver-carved door handle, he curled up the corners of his mouth.

“Then I’ll smile for now.”

It was time to return as a faithful anonymous knight.

He wanted to always be sincere in front of Helena without measuring anything, so he just had to pour out his sincerity.

“Because I’m quite enjoying this moment.”

“…?”

“I’m smiling on your behalf, so make sure to pay me back later. Is that alright?”

Ian smiled narrowly due to the sunlight pouring into his retinas.

However, contrary to that bright face, a displeased look appeared on Helena’s face.

She was displeased with herself.

Not knowing her place, she had almost carelessly given away another piece of herself. She had almost inadvertently spilled what she should have been holding onto preciously all by herself.

‘If I hadn’t met Eugene…’

It was an absurd request from the start, asking to repay not money but a smile. He always said difficult things, leaving aside all the easy paths.

But Helena ended up nodding in the end.

Because that transparent and white smile was just a little too dazzling to simply hate.