Ian’s hand left, leaving behind a faint warmth.

Helena bit her lower lip hard. A single word made her mind restless. She felt confused like a lost child.

Do I want to live?

No.

Then do I want to die?

… No.

The urge to die wasn’t as strong as before. But neither had a desire to live emerged.

‘Just, just…’

A regular heartbeat sounded from somewhere, like a clock’s second hand. Helena quietly placed her hand on her heart.

The sensation she had felt earlier on the street spread through her fingertips again. A sensation so sticky it had been unpleasant.

But now it was a bit different. She no longer felt aversion. That was all.

Ian, as if that was enough, didn’t press for an answer. So she didn’t bother to respond either.

‘Will there come a day when I can answer even after parting from you?’

Would she be able to choose either side confidently then? Would she be able to be certain about herself?

The chain of thoughts didn’t last long. For someone who didn’t even include tomorrow in the future, it was quite a luxury.

Instead, Helena gazed at Ian for a long time, as if caressing him with her eyes.

His face with strong features remained as straight as ever, but there was one flaw. It was a wound she had inflicted while unconsciously resisting him in the aftermath of a nightmare.

“…I’m sorry.”

Helena slowly brought her hand to Ian’s lips.

As she carefully examined the burst part, stroking it, he stiffened his upper body. With only a towel draped over his shoulder, she could see his muscles tightening.

‘Did I rub too hard and hurt him?’

Helena hurriedly rummaged through the bedside drawer. With few contents, the item she was looking for came out right away. It was the ointment Ian had bought for Helena’s neck wound.

Helena applied the ointment to his injured lip, just as he had done for her. Though she tried to be careful, he tensed his upper body even more as soon as her finger touched him.

“It must sting a lot.”

“…It doesn’t.”

Ian averted his eyes. Helena spread the ointment more meticulously, afraid of hurting him. Finally, as she closed the ointment cap and withdrew, he let out a small breath he had been holding.

Helena looked over his body carefully, wondering if he was hurt anywhere else. It was convenient that he wasn’t wearing clothes.

While focusing mainly on his nape and sides, she noticed a long mark below his ribcage. Naturally following the slightly thick thorn-like shape, it extended to his back.

Ian tried to hide it, saying this was enough, but her hand removing the towel was faster.

‘…!’

Helena unconsciously swallowed a gasp the moment she saw that broad back.

The back that had always felt like a thick iron wall was covered in all sorts of scars. It seemed as if there was at least one mark from every weapon that existed in the world.

She traced those trajectories with her finger. As if they were not just simple scar trajectories, but a kind of path.

‘The path of this person who seems flawless… perhaps every moment…’

Helena was suddenly thinking about the life of a man other than Eugene.

It was a first. So the feeling was strange. Somehow, when it came to this man, the number of firsts was increasing.

Meanwhile, Ian flinched a little and then sighed with resignation. Then, as always, he responded wearing a brazen mask.

“Are you finally taking an interest in me?”

“How can I not when it’s right in front of my eyes?”

“It’s easier to pretend not to see even when you do see.”

“For me, that’s more… uncomfortable. Pretending anything is tiring.”

“If that’s the case, do as you please.”

After finishing those words, Ian got up from the bed and approached the door. As soon as he opened it, the innkeeper who was about to knock jumped in surprise.

He tipped her and received the laundry, then finally dressed properly. After that, he lay down on the floor as if it were a bed. He looked so comfortable it was as if he was on a soft mattress.

Ian started reading the newspaper that the innkeeper had placed on top of the laundry, with one ankle resting on his bent knee.

Helena stared intently at the floor where he lay, then blurted out.

“Come up and sleep. I’ll go wash up now.”

Ian lowered the newspaper slightly and met Helena’s eyes over it.

“Are you serious? Once I get up, I won’t move.”

“Just for today.”

“I’m becoming quite grateful to the bug.”

He folded the newspaper and got up with a small smile.

The bed, originally meant for two, sank deeply again.

“I saw her in Futua. I met her while walking on the beach, but I’m not sure now. Still, you should go check. Sister liked the sea, so she might still be there.”

Eugene rode his horse frantically, recalling the boy’s words. Rough breaths rose to the tip of his chin, but he didn’t stop.

Finally arriving at the beach in Futua, he entered the shop closest to the seaside.

All eyes in the store turned to him due to his ominous presence.

Eugene, disregarding this, described her appearance and asked about her whereabouts. However, everyone just shook their heads, with no one answering.

Eugene had no choice but to go outside. Just then, the knights who had scattered for the search returned, but the information they brought was not much different.

Had she already left, or was it the opposite coast?

He needed to organize his hasty thoughts to readjust the search location. Eugene took out a cigar from his breast pocket, put it in his mouth, and brought the cutter to the end.

Just as he was about to move his fingers to cut off the end, a man sprawled in a corner of the street slowly got up.

“Hey mister, it looks like you’re searching for someone. If you spare a coin for this poor fellow, I’ll help you.”

The man, who kept hiccupping, reeked of strong alcohol. Eugene’s brow furrowed deeply.

“I’m not desperate enough to need help from a vagrant.”

However, the man didn’t back down and flashed a meaningful smile.

“Hehe, you need me because I’m a vagrant. For me, anywhere I lie down is home, so I sometimes spend the day using those rocks visible from the sea as my bed. My job is to watch people all day long.”

Eugene, who was about to ignore the man and pass by, stiffened. He pointed to the sea with his chin and asked.

“Are you saying you saw everything that happened on that sea?”

“Well, at least during the times I was awake…”

The man, who had been acting shamelessly, trailed off, licking his lips. His eyes seemed to say that if something was to come, something should go first.

Seeing through this obvious act, Eugene silently approached. The corners of the man’s mouth curled up in anticipation of the gold coins that would soon fall into his hands.

However, his sweet dream was short-lived.

Kwajik.

Suddenly, something sharp grazed the man’s cheek and stuck into the wall behind him. It was the blade pulled from the cigar cutter.

Though it was only as long as the joint of a little finger, its power was no less than that of a decent long sword due to its enchantment.

“Huh…!”

The man who experienced this firsthand swallowed his breath, unable to even let out a short scream.

A gaze filled with killing intent fell upon him.

“Choose. Whether I should gouge out those eyes that fail to see properly despite being intact, or cut off that loose tongue of yours.”

Faced with the overwhelming pressure that seemed to suffocate him, the man hurriedly prostrated himself and bowed his head.

“Wh-what kind of person are you looking for? I’ll tell you anything I know.”

“A woman with neatly tied… no. With long, curly red hair and blue eyes. Her height reaches about my shoulder-.”

“Ah, that woman.”

The man pretended to know before Eugene could finish speaking. When Eugene glared at him fiercely, the man flinched for a moment before hurriedly blurting out.

“Her clothes were ordinary, but I remember her because she was quite beautiful. Though I only saw her briefly as she had her hat pulled down low.”

“When and where did you see her?”

“I was drunk at the time, so I don’t remember exactly, but… about ten days ago, she ran into the sea as if possessed by something.”

“What do you mean? Ran into the sea?”

“Exactly as I said. Whether she intended to die, she walked in on her own.”

“Do I really need to rip out that vile tongue of yours to hear the truth!”

Eugene growled, roughly grabbing the man by the nape. Forcibly lifted, the man barely opened his mouth while clutching his choked neck.

“Kehek, kek! It’s true! Wh-why would I lie when there’s nothing for me to gain!”

“Are you saying Helena is dead!”

“Ah, no! The lady didn’t die! I saw some man passing by save her. I don’t know much after that because I fell asleep, but she must have lived. I swear!”

Only then did Eugene release the man’s collar. As soon as his hand let go, the man crumpled to the ground.

Leaving behind the man who was rubbing his hands together begging just to be spared, Eugene walked away with heavy steps.

He was terribly confused about what he had just heard. It felt like he had been hit hard on the head with a blunt object.

‘Helena, Helen… tried to take her own life?’

She left easily and departed easily, and now she wants to die. Nonsense. Eugene couldn’t accept it.

‘What’s so easy for you about everything? You left me on a whim, and now even your life is a whim?’

He stopped when he reached the fountain in the town square, having walked aimlessly.

Watching those regular streams of water, suddenly a piece of memory from the past flashed through his numb mind.

“Eugene. I hate this day.”

Along with it, a thin sense of guilt also arose. He was shocked, but he didn’t completely not know the reality. There was always a reason for her capriciousness.

‘Come to think of it, the anniversary of Basil’s death…’

Because from long ago, even while laughing happily, she would occasionally say with her whole body that she didn’t want to live.