The waves that surged in layers before my eyes boiled up like foam and then shattered.
It was the beach of Futua that I chose, unable to leave my corpse in Praeterita. I shouldn’t burden the good people struggling to survive in an already barren land with an unsavory incident.
Besides, that vast expanse of water should have enough space to embrace my body. The surging seawater would carry me anywhere without charge.
But even without such reasons, I felt I would have arrived here at least once.
A deep instinct cried out. Go to the sea.
‘I’ve seen enough.’
Helena stood up, brushing the sand off her clothes.
And almost simultaneously, a child coming from the opposite direction started running towards her.
The child who finally reached her front, catching his breath, smiled brightly.
“Really, huff, it is you, elder sister!”
“…?”
“Aren’t you elder sister Helen? You moved away when I was seven or eight years old. When we lived in Praeterita.”
The child seemed genuinely pleased to meet her. His innocent face didn’t seem to be lying.
Helena quickly searched through her past. The face was certainly familiar. But no clear scene came to mind.
“…How old are you now?”
“Twelve. Don’t you recognize me?”
There was a gap of several times between the child and herself, even in the same time. The repetitive overlays of regression had blurred the time before marriage.
Moreover, she had heard from Eric that once, when she confronted Matilda, she had violently hit her head on the table.
Helena absentmindedly rubbed her forehead hidden by her hair. She could feel a scar about the size of a pinky finger.
It was a scar that had gradually taken away her memories even after becoming an adult. Fortunately, it was mostly childhood memories, so she had avoided becoming a fool.
“…Elder sister?”
…Except for cases like this.
The child’s eyes looking up at her were unfortunately so clear that every time he blinked, she felt an unnecessary sense of guilt.
Helena reluctantly pretended to know, stumbling over her words.
“Ah… were you from next door?”
“No.”
“…The house in front?”
“I lived in the house behind.”
“Then… Theo? No, Peter…? Peter?”
“Theo is my elder brother’s name, I’m Paul.”
“…I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
Nothing was correct. With nothing particularly to say, she blurted out any question.
“Did you move here?”
“No. We came here because some handsome man in Praeterita gave us gold coins to properly hold my elder brother Theo’s funeral. We’re on our way back after meeting with the funeral director to set a date.”
“…I see. Your brother would be happy.”
It seemed someone generous had made a charitable donation. I wonder if I could have received it if I had come a little earlier.
As the conversation broke off again and became uncomfortable, Paul turned his head towards the harbor.
An old man was shouting something in the distance.
“Ah, grandfather is calling. I still live in the same place as before, so come visit anytime, elder sister!”
Paul waved his hand hurriedly as he moved away.
Helena also waved back until he became a small dot, then turned around.
‘Well, I don’t think I’ll be able to see him again.’
The dazzling sunlight shattered brilliantly over the crashing waves.
‘I was about to die because I had nothing, no family, and nowhere to go.’
As if calling to me.
Helena quietly inhaled in the calm before the storm. The sea came even closer.
If the smell of death was the smell of the sea, she rather liked it. Even on the brink of the end, she remained calm.
She just hoped this death would be the ‘final’ death. She didn’t want to open her eyes anymore on Eugene’s bed.
If she were to go back again, then she would point the gun at her head even in front of his eyes. She would pull the trigger over and over until there was no trace left.
And when her soul wore away and disappeared, she would never see you again.
“…Eugene.”
Helena held his name on the tip of her tongue one last time. He was like a dam that overflowed no matter how much she tried to block it. Eugene’s image came rushing in with the sound of the waves.
⌜Helena. I’ll always be by your side.⌟
It had been a world where she stood alone to the point of weariness.
In it, she couldn’t even stay by the side of the only man who spoke of love and embraced her, and now it seemed this was the end.
‘If it had been a life where I gave up on you… maybe it would have been a better ending than this.’
But repetition without change drives people mad. Waiting without promise makes one tired.
Expectations that ultimately go unrewarded made her give up on herself, not Eugene.
It was always like that. The feeling of liberation was momentary, and longing was eternal. Even her own emotions always mocked her. Death seemed a much better choice than solitude.
‘Since loving you was the reason for my life, now…’
Helena slowly stepped towards the incoming waves. Her body moved as if the water was pulling her in.
‘Eugene. Will you read me? That all the time embedded in Evergale was my will.’
Sand mixed with seawater filled her shoes, floating seaweed brushed against her calves, and the cold seeped into her bones. The sea at high tide was merciless. Just one more step until complete submersion.
There was no reason to hesitate, no lingering attachment. It was a death she chose herself, not one forced upon her on the scaffold. That fact alone might make it a good death. It was only regrettable that she foolishly found the courage to die only now.
Helena took her final step.
“Helena!”
At that moment, she heard a splashing sound and a small shout from behind. Someone’s urgent cry strangely sounded just like her name.
But nothing would change. It was probably an auditory hallucination.
It might be a farewell cry from herself, yearning for love beyond her station.
‘Will there be anyone who will miss me?’
Before she could feel more miserable, a new wave crashed over her head, pressing down on her body. It carried her to deeper waters.
The light piercing her vision gradually blurred and her ears became muffled.
The end was approaching. Even the suffocating pain was comfortable. All sensations disappeared.
Just as she was about to lose consciousness like that.
Splash!
“What do you think you’re doing!”
A fierce shout burst near her ear. At the same time, not only her head but her upper body was quickly pulled up above the water surface.
The cold air seeped deep into her lungs, rapidly activating her stopped senses. She flailed reflexively while gasping, but there was no sinking again.
Helena felt around her waist, sensing the strong pressure. Something firm was wrapped around it. Someone was desperately pulling her while swimming.
‘Let go, let this go…!’
She tried to pry the fingers off, but it was futile. The more she pushed away, the stronger the force constricting her waist became.
Finally, the water level lowered to her chest. Then a large palm supported her back and an arm went under her knees, lifting her up.
Exhausted from the struggle, Helena gave up resisting and went limp.
Resting her head against the stranger’s chest, she could barely breathe. Her body felt like a stone, probably from swallowing too much water.
When she barely raised her blurry gaze, droplets fell one after another on her face.
Due to the backlight, she couldn’t tell if they were the man’s tears or seawater falling from his wet hair.
Before she could cough out all the choking water, the man waded through the waves and set foot on land.
Only after reaching a place where the waves no longer touched did he kneel on the sand.
“No, Helen. You can’t lose consciousness. Helena!”
Helena trembled all over like a cornered mouse.
While her body, soaked through, was so cold, his very hot breath kept enveloping her.
He pressed his lips to her forehead, kissing her over and over as if combing through her hair. With each breath that seemed to scorch her skin, he desperately whispered her name.
In a voice she was hearing for the first time, yet not for the first time. He kept calling her like that.
Following that passionate voice, thoughts floated through Helena’s mind like a final breath.
Why are you crying for me?
Why are you calling my name so desperately?
Why won’t you let me die as I please?
Who are you, really?
‘Are you holding onto me as if I’m your everything?’
Just then, the sunlight that had slipped past the clouds illuminated him like a spotlight. Slowly, his outline and face were revealed in the pale light.
Helena took in his face as if caressing it with her eyes.
Silver hair as if melted from the full moon, violet eyes as soft as lilacs.
Although he only held clean and warm things, perhaps because of his sharp nose bridge and jawline, his overall impression was closer to rugged.
A man more suited to a battlefield covered in blood than a spring field.
Such a man was crying now.
Hugging her as if to crush her.
“Don’t leave me alone. Stay by my side. Please, please…”
Helena wanted to answer something, but her efforts were in vain.
The wet voice that never seemed to dry gradually faded. Her eyes slowly closed as if to counter the desperation. She was too tired.
“Helena, please…!”
Hearing the man’s final plea, Helena quietly prayed.
That her breath would stop forever, just like this.
[This is the timeline separator]The last parting words dropped that night we separated.
⌜You must find me.⌟
Thirteen years had passed since then.
It was a momentary whisper, a promise that lasted but an instant. Words that should have faded enough by now.
However, no matter how much time stained with blood and carnage covered him, Helena’s existence only became clearer. Far from being forgotten, it became more vivid.
He wasn’t sure if his feelings for her remained the same, but he had to meet her again first. He had to find her somehow.
Until then, it felt like the thirst that nothing else could quench would continue. So Ian came to the beach of Futua, barely holding onto that one promise, without any plan.
Never dreaming he would witness a scene he never wanted to face.
“Helena! Helen!”
The red hair spread in the blue water was chilling. It was as if the sea was being dyed with blood. She was drifting away to a place he couldn’t reach.
Ian’s molars clenched tightly. An unbearable self-reproach came over him.
Was I too late? Is that why you made this choice?
With what feelings I came all the way here. I endured with the sole determination to protect you.
‘I can’t lose you like this too.’
Ian jumped into the sea without hesitation. After cutting through the rough waves and coming ashore, he finally managed to save her.
He kept adjusting his hold on her increasingly limp body, calling her name, making her cough up water. But Helena became less and less responsive.
It seemed as if she was refusing to wake up herself. Ian’s insides burned black. He couldn’t think of anything.
He hugged her with all his might and whispered frantically. He kissed her wet forehead over and over, begging.
And betraying all that waiting, Helena closed her eyes.
_____
In This Life I Love You Again (Modern Female-dominant)
Xie Zhi and Fang Xianxing who had known each other for less than three days through a blind date sat in the same car in front of the civil affairs bureau. They had a disagreement and failed to get married.
Xie Zhi immediately took out his phone, slid through his contacts, and randomly selected the next marriage candidate.
The woman snatched his phone and hung up. Looking at his phone wallpaper, she awkwardly changed the subject: “An ancient painting, eh? It looks pretty good, it’s just that the person in the painting looks a bit like me.”
When he heard this, he sarcastically mocked her for being so delusional, completely unaware that, the person in front of him was the reincarnation of Wen Ru, the famous prime minister of Yuan Shun whom he most admired…
The female CEO who doesn’t want to get married with a divorce agreement in hand × The male archaeological researcher who will only get married if he’s sure he can get divorced