Waves rolled in, frothing like foam before crashing against the shore.
Helena had chosen the seaside of Putua, unable to leave her body in Pretterita. It was already a barren land, and she couldn’t burden its resilient, kind people with her unfortunate demise.
Moreover, the vast ocean surely had room to embrace her. The undulating waters would carry her away without asking for anything in return.
But it wasn’t just for that reason that she felt drawn here.
Deep down, an instinct screamed at her. Go to the sea.
‘I’ve seen enough.’
Helena brushed the sand off her skirt and stood up.
Almost simultaneously, a child from the opposite direction began running towards her.
Finally reaching her, the child, panting heavily, beamed brightly.
“Really, it is you, Helena!”
“……?”
“Aren’t you Helena? You moved away when I was about seven or eight, from Pretterita.”
The child seemed genuinely happy to see her. His innocent face didn’t seem capable of lying.
Helena quickly tried to recall the past. His face did seem familiar, but no specific memories surfaced.
“……How old are you now?”
“Twelve. Don’t you recognize me?”
There was a vast disparity in the passage of time between her and the child. Her repeated regressions had blurred her memories before marriage.
Also, Eric had once mentioned she hit her head hard on a table while standing up to Matilda.
Helena absentmindedly rubbed her forehead, hidden by her hair. A scar about the size of a pinky finger was there.
It was a scar that gradually took away her memories, even after she became an adult. Fortunately, it wasn’t so bad as to make her completely forgetful.
“……Helena?”
……Except in cases like now.
The child’s eyes, looking up at her, were too clear, making her feel an undeserved guilt with each blink.
Helena awkwardly pretended to remember.
“Ah… were you the kid next door?”
“No.”
“……The front house?”
“I was from the back house.”
“So…… Theo. No, Peter…? Peter?”
“Theo is my brother’s name, I’m Paul.”
“……Sorry.”
“That’s okay.”
Nothing matched. She hardly knew what to say, so she randomly asked.
“Did you move here?”
“No. We’re here because a handsome man from Pretterita gave us gold coins to properly conduct Theo’s funeral. We met the undertaker to set a date and are now on our way back.”
“……I see. Your brother would be pleased.”
Someone generous must have passed by, offering charity. Had she arrived just a bit earlier, could she have received it too?
Their conversation waned into awkward silence until Paul looked toward the harbor.
In the distance, an old man was shouting something.
“Ah, my grandfather is calling me. I still live in the old place, so come and visit anytime, Helena!”
Paul waved hurriedly and ran off.
Helena waved back until he became a speck in the distance, then turned around.
‘I doubt we’ll meet again.’
Brilliant sunlight scattered radiantly over the crashing waves.
‘I had nothing, no family, no place to return to, and was about to die just like that.’
As if calling to her.
Helena breathed quietly in the stillness before the storm. The sea seemed closer now.
If the scent of death were that of the sea, it might have been quite to Helena’s liking. She remained calm even as the end loomed.
She only hoped this death would be the ‘final’ one. She no longer wished to wake up in Eugene’s bed.
If she were to return once more, she’d rather he aim a gun at her head right in front of him. She wanted him to pull the trigger over and over, leaving no trace, crushing her completely.
Thus, her soul would fade away entirely, ensuring she’d never see him again.
“……Eugene.”
Helena whispered his name for the last time. He was like an overflowing dyke, impossible to hold back. Eugene’s image washed over her with the sound of the waves.
⌜Helena. I will always be by your side.⌟
She was tired of standing alone in this world.
Even the man who offered love and embraced her couldn’t stay by her side, and now it seemed this was her end.
‘Had I given up on you in life… perhaps it would have been a better ending.’
But unchanging repetition drives one mad. Endless waiting exhausts.
Unreciprocated expectations made her give up on herself, not on Eugene.
It was always the same. Relief was momentary, longing eternal. Her own emotions seemed to mock her. Death sounded like a far better choice than loneliness.
‘Since loving you was the reason for my life, now…’
Helena stepped slowly toward the surging tide. The water seemed to pull her in, her body moving on its own.
‘Eugene. Will you read me? The time embedded in Evergale was my testament.’
Her shoes filled with sand and seawater, drifting seaweed brushed against her calves, and the cold seeped into her bones. The high tide was merciless. Just one more step to complete submersion.
She had no reason to hesitate, no regrets. It was a death she chose, not one imposed upon her. Perhaps that alone made it a noble end. She regretted only that she had found the courage to die too late.
The Male lead Always Seduces Her with His Beauty (Matriarchy)
Xin Jiao Zhou is the leader of the world’s premier sect. She has just experienced betrayal from all sides, was poisoned in an assassination attempt, and faced death squad attacks while the poison was taking effect. After finally clearing out the scum from her sect, she was drugged again while trying to detoxify.
After waking up from a night of unconsciousness, she gained a “beautiful and kind-hearted” husband.
Xin Jiao Zhou: “???”
He fell ill.
She came to see him, bringing breakfast.
As she put down the breakfast and was about to leave, his hand slipped while holding the spoon. “Clank!”
She turned around upon hearing the noise.
He looked up at her, his eyebrows drooping: “My hand… has no strength.”
“Shall I… feed you?” she asked tentatively.
He opened his mouth cheerfully: “Ah—”
Thinking she was drowning, he jumped in without hesitation to save her, but nearly drowned himself. In the end, it was she who swam over to rescue him, giving him air underwater.
After emerging from the water, his ear tips turned red. He lightly brushed his cheek, tucking his sideburns behind his ear, revealing delicate, pink-tinged ear tips. He lowered his gaze, too embarrassed to look at her.
Xin Jiao Zhou: He’s truly beautiful, kind-hearted, and adorable.
A certain someone when disciplining subordinates behind the scenes: “If they don’t obey, just kill them.”
What’s that? She might already have someone she cares about in her heart? A certain someone: Find out who it is, kill them, and then there won’t be anyone.
What? She met a man by the riverside? What? That man even hurt her? A certain someone: Whichever hand hurt her, chop off his entire arm.
Love at first sight without realizing it, gradually falling in love, slowly getting closer…
Family and national grudges, schemes and desires, good and evil, crime and punishment, she and he face the future together, seeking justice with passion!
A naturally dark female lead who could accidentally destroy the world but is actually an honest person VS a weak, pitiful, and helpless but skilled fighter, beautiful white-cut black male lead
My heart is not of stone, how steadfast is your love? — Tao Yuanming “Imitating the Ancients (No. 3)”
— Reading Guide —
Cold female lead & dramatic black lotus with hidden yandere traits male lead
