Diana arrived at the art studio before Paisar.

The room without the painter was enough to stimulate her imagination.

As the smell of oil paints wafted through the quiet room, she was reminded of Raoul, who hated this sticky scent.

‘He sat here. With his back straight and his expression coldly hardened, but with a handsome face…..’

Zoom out, zoom in, and then close up again.

His cold, almost indifferent facial features and subtle changes in expression were vividly replayed like a film with no noise.

She could picture him rushing Paisar to finish the painting within an hour.

His non-slave-like attitude was an indicator that Diana had lived this life differently from the previous one.

Compared to the Raoul before regression, his current appearance was a great improvement.

He readily smiled when happy, easily blushed when embarrassed, and frowned his nose bridge when angry.

Previously, he couldn’t even express such natural emotions as smiling or crying. But now it was different.

He blushed easily like a novice, didn’t hide his jealousy, and also knew how to beg for love through indifference.

He was someone who, if raised normally, would have grown up to be a man with rich emotions, no, beyond that, a man who could give ecstatic love.

She gently smiled as she stroked the wooden frame of the classic fabric sofa with her fingers. She liked the changed Raoul, different from the past.

She liked him even before the regression, but now she cherished him beyond the feeling of love.

‘You would really hate me saying this, but sometimes I feel like I raised you….. When I just want everything to go well, I really feel that way…..’

She came in front of the sofa and sat down in the spot where Raoul had sat, which could also be called her regular seat, and relaxed.

It was the first time she had leaned back on the backrest since becoming Paisar’s model.

She closed her eyelids, satisfied with the cloud-like fluffy and soft touch.

As her mind, immersed in past memories, began to think of the current Raoul, she felt like she was slowly breathing.

‘It’s not enough to just think happy thoughts. It’s all things that never happened anyway….. That’s just a novel…..’

Diana dismissed her pre-regression memories as a novel only when it was convenient for her.

Especially the memories related to the child were like a Pandora’s box that she shouldn’t open.

A past that must be thoroughly dismissed as a novel, unable to cope with.

In some cases, dissociative disorders occur to protect oneself from unbearable shocks, but Diana couldn’t do that.

So she had to live while consciously blocking those memories.

‘Mommy…..’

Lu’s voice calling her had been lingering in her head for a while.

Even when she tried to shake off the past by thinking of the current Raoul, the sorrowful cry seemed to pierce her heart.

During the year after regression, she repeatedly self-hypnotized that she was just a possessor, and that the past mistakes were made without knowing this fact.

And by the time she got used to young Diana’s life, this avoidant hypnosis felt like reality.

It was perfectly so until she met Raoul.

The boy who reappeared one day easily cracked the dam of memories that blocked the past and present.

He made her confused as if trying to prove that the Diana in the novel was not just a marionette.

He kneaded her heart like clay, making it beat again, and connected the emotions before and after the regression that had been cut off.

‘Maybe that’s why, but when I think of Lu, my heart feels strange….. I’m clearly a possessor…..but if our child had been born, wouldn’t they have been just like Lu…..I keep thinking that.’

The child she had carried in her womb until her death was an existence that should not have been conceived.

It was not a child conceived under the blessing of parental love, but an accident-like child born from Diana’s one-sided obsession.

It was the product of a vulgar magic that she completed by burning her life to amplify her little mana, and a painful finger that disappeared without being blessed by anyone.

‘It was my karma that I should never bring up……’

She sighed deeply as she ran her dry hand over her face. Then she muttered in a small voice.

“Don’t think about it. It’s something that can’t be undone now. The important thing is not to repeat the same mistake.”

Diana had no intention of recklessly throwing herself into an uncertain future, even for the sake of the child.

No matter how much Raoul showed emotions different from the past, she couldn’t completely trust him.

In the novel, Duke Carlyle was the strongest warrior of the empire who didn’t flinch even when Ayla wielded the holy sword and exterminated demons, or when Trian mastered combat magic and freely used mana.

If Raoul hadn’t joined forces after his final awakening, she couldn’t have even dreamed of…. winning.

‘It was Raoul who dealt the fatal blow…..’

Although it was Ayla who ended the war and beheaded the Duke, it was Raoul who rendered the Duke combat ineffective.

She should never have to see that sight.

‘If Raoul is sincere to me, he might ask me to come to the Eastern Continent after the war is over. But I can’t be sure of anything now….. When the events of the original work are progressing as scheduled…..’

The scars of the past were not small enough to easily start love.

Diana muttered to herself.

‘I like you too. But if there is even the slightest uncertainty in our future, I won’t choose you. I don’t want to experience unbearable sorrow again……’

That was how she felt now after seeing Lu again.

As she covered her eyes with one hand and stretched out her body even more, the sound of the doorknob turning was heard.

“Ah, am I late?”

“I’m the one who came early. You arrived on time.”

A man with a haggard face like someone who had stayed up all night entered the art studio with grizzled hair.

Originally pale, he had recently become so faint that it seemed he would evaporate.

His body was thin, his face was white without a hint of color, and he looked like a sensitive artist who was extremely stressed and couldn’t even put water in his mouth.

Forgetting about her own worries, Diana looked at Paisar’s complexion and asked.

“Are bugs still swarming in your room these days? You look really unwell…..”

“Oh….. Is that so? I’m sorry to worry you. I’m really fine, maybe it’s because the weather is getting hotter.”

“Hot? It’s still far from summer, and it’s already hot?”

Diana tilted her head, feeling the warm spring weather.

Paisar smiled awkwardly at Diana.

“Haha. I guess I’m sensitive to heat.”

That was also strange. Elves are strong against cold or heat.

A race favored by nature is sensitive to heat? She nodded lightly, but inwardly she was thinking of moving his accommodation.

‘People are so foolishly gentle. If the room is uncomfortable, tell me. There’s no need to endure it so foolishly…..’

Paisar deserved to be treated much more preciously.

Of course, now that the abbey had sided with the rebels, the need to prepare for danger had been reduced by half, but there was still no reason why having a lot of money would be bad.

‘If Vincent or Biche say they’re going to get married and quit their knighthood, it wouldn’t be bad to arrange a job for them in the Duchy of Homern or the Hyperion territory. They both said they want to live ordinary lives without worrying about their lives after retirement….. It would be good to give them a solid wedding fund so they can open a small store or something.’

It might be too far in the future, but Diana even imagined Angela having a child.

‘It’s quite possible in this life since she has a good relationship with Vincent.’

She wanted to leave enough funds for her future niece or nephew to live comfortably without working for the rest of their lives.

She wanted Angela, who had devoted her youth to cleaning up after her, to live without lifting a finger after retirement.

Given her personality, she would probably use that money to open a tavern and earn even a penny more, but still, Diana hoped she wouldn’t have to worry about money at least.

‘One painting by Paisar is almost equivalent to a life-changing event. I should leave one for Angela too.’

She hid her full heart of ulterior motives and spoke as indifferently as possible.

“Then let’s stay at that accommodation only until this month, and look for another room next month. Don’t worry about money. There are still many works I want to see, so you shouldn’t suffer because of your sleeping quarters from the beginning. Look for a clean and comfortable place with good ventilation and no worries about bugs. If you do some legwork, you’ll be able to find a decent place to stay in the city. I guess the accommodation I found in a rush is lacking.”

“That’s not true at all! Compared to the communal bedrooms of the abbey, where I’m staying now is a tremendous luxury!”

“Everywhere is like that compared to the abbey. It’s a place where a life of poverty is a virtue. Now that you’ve entered the secular world, you should be treated according to your abilities! In fact, considering your skills alone, it would be insufficient even if you used the best bedroom in the castle, right? I’d be inhumane if I didn’t do this much while buying your paintings at a low price, wouldn’t I?”

Paisar twirled his fingers and lowered his gaze to the floor.

“Ugh….. I really don’t know what to do with myself……”

“It’s a natural course of action, so don’t feel ashamed. Just paint diligently. Understand?”

“Yes. Just tell me anything. I will try to paint anything. Anything is good if it’s with the young lady as the subject……”

“Well….. Of course, I’m honored and pleased with paintings using me as a model, but I want to see more diverse paintings. Spiritual paintings are good, landscapes are good too. Try anything.”

There were enough paintings with Diana as the subject.

‘No matter how generous and unconditionally loving Phenice is, there’s no way he would purchase several paintings of another woman……!’

Diana wanted works that could be sold without any suspicion.

Paisar clapped his hands together as if he had remembered something, looking disappointed.

“Ah! Speaking of new challenges, I remembered. I completed the portrait you requested a while ago. But unlike usual, I tried completing the work using only the contrast of black and white!”

He brought the painting he had placed against the wall when he came in and showed it to her.

Diana had no choice but to raise her thumb as soon as she saw it.

“…..It’s a masterpiece.”

On the canvas was a perfect work that looked like it was taken with a black and white camera, but it looked so unrealistic that it seemed more like a painting.

‘It’s exactly the feeling of a first love photo that grandma tucked into her diary……’

Unable to touch the painting in case it might be damaged, Diana traced the facial features in the air.

She was completely unaware of the fact that Paisar was watching her with a slightly bitter heart.