It means either losing your purpose or having only purpose left, one of the two.
“In Lord Joseph’s case, from my perspective, it’s the latter.”
Sergei spoke with a tone full of conviction.
It was ironic that Sergei, who had only shared a day of camaraderie with Lord Joseph, seemed to know him better than I did, despite having spent over a month with him.
“So it’s related to the questions you asked Lord Joseph earlier to verify his memories.”
“Yes.”
The answer that Lord Joseph couldn’t remember.
“Should I tell you the answer I heard from Lord Joseph then?”
After pondering, I shook my head. If it’s a precious memory, it’s right to share it with the precious person.
“Rather than that, please tell me about the unusual behavior. If you know what Lord Joseph is blindly obsessed with.”
Just as Sergei was about to open his mouth after choosing his words carefully,
“…It’s probably life.”
A deeply hoarse, cracked voice interrupted our conversation.
Sergei and I turned our heads simultaneously. Lord Joseph had woken up.
“Lord Joseph. Are you alright?”
Sergei, who got up first, approached Lord Joseph, and I quickly rose as well.
“How are you feeling?”
“Ugh…”
He was still clutching his head. It seems the pain hasn’t subsided yet.
Just in case, I reached out my hand, and Lord Joseph eagerly grabbed it and brought it to his cheek.
Seeing his expression become more relaxed, I felt relieved.
“…”
“…”
Suddenly, I found myself making eye contact with Sergei.
His green eyes stared at my hand touching Lord Joseph’s cheek with a peculiar emotion.
Ah, how embarrassing. Why am I the one feeling ashamed?
“Ahem. Don’t misunderstand, Lord Sergei. This is just…”
“No need. If you two are in a relationship leading to marriage, there’s no need to be mindful of me.”
“Ah…”
Right, that’s true.
We had revealed to none other than Lord Sergei first that we were engaged.
Even if it was a contractual relationship based on mutual needs.
Then there’s no need for unnecessary excuses, but…
No, wait. I don’t think that’s what I was trying to excuse.
“It seems I fainted.”
“It must be due to the shock of realizing your memories were broken.”
“More importantly, Lord Joseph. What did you mean by what you just said? Did you answer that what you’re blindly obsessed with is life?”
“Yes. It’s probably certain, ahem…”
As Lord Joseph’s voice was quite hoarse, I quickly handed him something to drink.
Only after moistening his throat did he show his usual playful smile.
“You must have felt it sufficiently, my lady. That I’m quite obsessed with life.”
“Well, I can’t deny that, but…”
But I don’t understand why being obsessed with life is strange. Isn’t that true for any living being?
“I mean, excessively obsessed.”
As if reading my thoughts, Lord Joseph said with a faint smile.
“Usually, if you’re tortured by headaches for over 4,000 years without a moment’s rest, wouldn’t you think at some point that you want to let go of life?”
F-four thousand years?
“…Usually, people don’t live for 4,000 years, Lord Joseph.”
While I was shocked by that astronomical number, Sergei’s rational lips pointed out that his example was incorrect.
Lord Joseph agreed, saying, “You’re right about that.”
“Anyway, I understand what advice Lord Sergei was trying to give me.”
Having said that, Lord Joseph sat up completely, adjusting his posture.
“Thank you for your help in various ways. From now on, it seems to be a matter between myself and the Duchess.”
“…”
Sergei was not one to misunderstand what that meant.
After fumbling for words, he finally stood up.
“…I understand. I will continue to help as much as I know, so please call me if you need any assistance.”
“Ah, Lord Sergei. Thank you. We’ll likely be heading down to the duchy in a few days, so please take care and rest well until then.”
“I appreciate your consideration.”
And so, Sergei finally left the room. I let out a deep breath in the quiet space now left alone with Lord Joseph.
“Don’t worry too much, my lady.”
Lord Joseph’s cold hand grasped my arm.
“Advice is just advice. Our agreement is still valid, so if you wish, I can use chronomancy right away.”
Led by the force pulling my arm, I sat closer to Lord Joseph.
“Isn’t Master Saul Rogier too precious to lose now? He’s also the only family you have left.”
“…”
“I will save him. If we go back to the day of the arson, there will be no problem. The young lord, the young lady, and young master Chelsea will all be safe.”
Now I could see his expression much more clearly.
A man who creates a smile so seductive, beautiful, and kind that anyone would fall in love.
His relaxed attitude sometimes felt annoying.
His ambiguous tone and mysterious way with words were enough to make me feel enchanted without realizing it.
But now that it’s come to this, he looks a bit different.
If you ask how he looks different, I’m not sure exactly. Just a little…
…It makes me feel strange for no reason.
“No, Lord Joseph.”
I gently put down his hand that was holding my arm.
“There’s no need for that. It would be better not to use chronomancy this time. No…”
A bitter breath that had been clogging my throat was finally exhaled.
“…Let’s not use chronomancy from now on.”
“Pardon?”
Lord Joseph’s red eyes widened greatly.
Grabbing my arm again with the hand I had just put down, Lord Joseph spoke in an urgent voice.
“I don’t understand. What… I don’t know why you’re suddenly saying such things.”
“Lord Joseph. I am saddened by Master Rogier’s death, Lord Sergei’s injury, and the children’s accident, but I have no intention of sacrificing you for that.”
“Sacrifice? It’s not to that extent.”
“It’s worse than that. Lord Sergei just told me earlier. If you continue to use chronomancy, you’ll become a vegetable. Or if not that, you’ll become an idiot.”
Saying this, I thought Lord Joseph would be scared. Or at least understand.
But that wasn’t the case. He smiled brilliantly, curling the corners of his eyes, and said,
“I don’t see why that matters.”
“What… did you say?”
I was the one surprised by that response.
When I asked if I had misheard, Lord Joseph curled up the corners of his mouth and said,
“Whether a vegetable or an idiot. Either way, I’m still alive, aren’t I?”
“…”
“That’s enough. I want to live.”
I think I finally understood then.
How fanatical his obsession with life was.
How dangerous the thoughts of a person who only has purpose left and shows blind obsession can be.
“…Stop talking such nonsense, Lord Joseph.”
I remembered that at times like this, I needed to pull myself together even more.
Biting my lip, I cut off his nonsense with a firm voice.
Shaking off his hand that was holding mine again, I glared at him fiercely.
“Is living just about having a pulse? Don’t you have any expectations for the future, Lord Joseph? Have you ever thought about what you want to do while alive, why you want to live?”
“…”
“I don’t understand how you can speak so easily about what you’ll be able to do next if you become brain dead or an idiot.”
To prevent him from grabbing my arm again, I deliberately crossed my arms tightly.
“So think about living with a sound mind. I’ll say it again, I have no intention of using chronomancy in the future.”
On this matter, I had no intention of compromising.
I stared at Lord Joseph with my mind firmly made up.
Then, slowly, the smile on Lord Joseph’s face, like a solid mask, began to crumble.
[This is the timeline separator]What went wrong?
It’s strange. I thought I did well this time.
I was allowed to be by her side. We even promised to marry.
I intend to make it impossible for us to divorce.
I believed without a doubt that I could live the rest of my life kissing her hands, cheeks, and lips without going mad or getting hurt.
What is it? Why is she suddenly saying she won’t use chronomancy anymore?
Why is chronomancy no longer necessary?
Why am I no longer needed?
…Then what.
What will become of me?
[This is the timeline separator]A week has passed since I prohibited Lord Joseph from using chronomancy.
Fortunately, nothing has happened around us since then.
It seems Lord Joseph hasn’t used chronomancy on his own, as I had warned him before.
‘There is something that concerns me though…’
When yandere male lead believes she loves him — but she never did
“How dare you!”
“How dare you make me love you, only to cast me aside as nothing more than a friend?!?
“I will never accept that.”
“I will never let you return to him.”
“Even if I have to burn myself to ashes.”
“Even if I must shatter my purity, my dignity, my very soul.”
“I will never let you escape me!”
This was the first novel that introduced me to the matriarchal genre. I’ve read it three times already!
At first, the male lead despised the female lead. Later, he misunderstood that she liked him, so he condescendingly and reluctantly reciprocated her feelings.
Then, he suddenly discovered that she was kind to everyone in the same way, and there was already someone she cherished in her heart, and that person was not him.
The male lead couldn’t believe it, he became angry and crazy. He was determined to capture her body and heart by any means necessary.
Synopsis:
Want to see how a green tea bitch male lead falls in love with the female lead?
Want to see how he flirtatiously pursues the female lead?
Want to see how he gets slapped in the face repeatedly?
The male lead is a green tea bitch, a poisonous lotus, jealous, ruthless, unscrupulous, with a venomous heart, and he’s also a delusional maniac.
The female lead is righteous, positive energy-filled, kind, a holy mother.
Let’s see how two people with extreme personalities come together~
_____
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