Die If I Can't Marry Off My Favorite - Chapter 24

Aspeiran Roakin was lying alone in a pure white room.

He raised his body while clutching his somewhat dazed head. Unfamiliar white walls entered his vision. An unfamiliar space.

Why am I in a place like this?

Aspeiran then looked down at his attire.

A thin white shirt and comfortable black pants, with a light and simple navy robe worn over them – it was exactly what he had changed into after finishing his official duties and returning to his bedroom.

Aspeiran thought with a slight frown. There’s no way I would have left the palace dressed like this.

But what would change by just sitting here and expressing doubts? Aspeiran let out a low sigh and stood up. He intended to investigate this place a bit.

Aspeiran shook his robe and moved to take a step. Or rather, he was about to.

Until he sensed a presence behind him.

It was a surprisingly tiny and insignificant presence that he detected. It was running towards him at full speed.

Although it felt like such a faint existence that it could be blown away with a puff of breath, Aspeiran did not let his guard down. He turned around without delay, maintaining his tension.

There was…

“My lord―!”

…a Shuria the size of a human head, with a 1:1 ratio of head to body, jumping up and down with her hands raised towards the ceiling.

“…?”

Shuria?

Why is Shuria here? No, before that, why has she become so small? And why are her proportions like that?

His head, which had been foggy as if thick mist had settled in, now felt like it was crammed full of hopelessly tangled threads. A throbbing headache was coming on.

Meanwhile, the small Shuria approached with quick steps, arms outstretched. Aspeiran unconsciously took half a step back.

This was the first retreat for the heroic king Aspeiran, who had never backed down even in the face of ferocious monster hordes.

But then he felt something bump against his extended heel, followed by a small “Ow!” of pain.

Aspeiran slowly turned his head.

“…”

There, just like the one he had seen before, was another tiny Shuria looking up at him with teary eyes, having fallen on her bottom.

“What in the…”

His consciousness was drifting far away. His nape felt stiff. During this time, the mini Shuria who had fallen got up bravely.

Then she clapped her small hands energetically. That was the signal.

Tiny Shurias began popping up one by one from all directions. They came in various forms.

A Shuria covered in white fur all over, a Shuria with squirrel tail and ears, a Shuria with rabbit ears, a Shuria with exceptionally puffy cheeks, a Shuria firmly gripping a large walnut in her small hands…

Countless Shurias rushed straight towards Aspeiran. They clung to his feet and chattered incessantly.

“My lord!”

“My lord! You’re amazing!”

“My lord! You’re cool!”

“My lord! You’re handsome!”

“My lord!”

“My lord―!”

The small Shurias were increasing in number. Aspeiran breathed heavily. What, what is this. What on earth is this?

He wanted to move away, but he couldn’t budge an inch as if someone had tightly bound his body. Cold sweat drenched his entire body.

At some point, Shurias were falling from the sky as well. Giggling laughter rang in his ears. He felt dizzy.

Countless Shurias grabbed and shook his legs, and finally Aspeiran lost his balance and fell backwards. However, he didn’t feel the pain that should have occurred when he hit the ground.

Aspeiran looked up in a daze at the one who had caught his head.

A smile that seemed as fragrant as a spring breeze. Golden eyes shining as brilliantly as the sun.

Yes, those golden eyes.

Aspeiran reached out as if in a trance. And finally, when his fingertips touched her rosy cheeks…

“Huk.”

Aspeiran sat up abruptly. Instead of white walls, he saw the navy and gold canopy.

It was his bedroom, his own bed.

Was it a dream?

“Damn it, damn it.”

Aspeiran repeatedly rubbed his face with his hand, damp with cold sweat.

It was the most shameful, embarrassing, and terrible dream he had ever had.

Aspeiran irritably threw off the blanket and got out of bed. It would be impossible to fall asleep again in this state.

Crack.

Aspeiran tossed the twelfth pen that had met its fate in his hand into the corner of the desk. The aide standing next to him, though trembling, quickly prepared a new pen.

The lord’s ferocity was always beyond words, but today it was particularly severe.

Look, he’s breaking all sorts of things because he can’t even control his strength!

‘He must be incredibly angry!’

Thanks to this, the aides and servants waiting in the office were having a miserable time. It would be several times more comfortable to be thrown naked in front of a horde of monsters.

Aspeiran slowly stamped the approval documents with his veiny hand and handed them to the aide.

The aide, who could finally leave this place, looked as if he was going crazy with happiness. He dashed out of the office faster than light.

Now the only one left by Aspeiran’s side was Tillis Garta, the 2nd Guard Captain, who was serving as the lord’s close guard for today in place of Canis, who was on vacation.

At that moment, the pen Aspeiran was holding broke in two again. Tillis prepared a new pen in place of the absent aide. As she did so, she let out a small sigh.

Aspeiran’s demon-like gaze turned to Tillis.

“I didn’t know your future aspiration was to be a pen.”

This meant, do you want to be split in two like the pens in the trash can?

However, unfortunately, Tillis Garta did not understand. Her everyday perceptiveness was close to zero, just like Canis, the Guard Captain.

Tillis shook her head with a sad expression.

“No. My future aspiration is to be the Captain.”

“You want to become the Captain? Then you’ll need to live a long time.”

“No matter how long I live, if the Captain lives longer than me, it would be difficult to become the Captain, wouldn’t it? And I don’t want to become the Captain, I’m just envious of today’s Captain.”

Aspeiran realized anew that it would be impossible to communicate with this person no matter what.

Then he felt drained. Aspeiran half-heartedly twirled the pen with one hand while rubbing his brow with the other.

“…What are you envious of?”

He casually threw a question at Tillis, feeling like he might as well listen to some nonsense to clear his mind.

Tillis answered excitedly, as if she had been waiting for this.

“You see, the Captain is on vacation today, isn’t he?”

Canis was allowed to take two days off per month on days of his choosing, in exchange for being in charge of the lord’s close protection. And Canis’s vacant position was filled by another guard captain who was off duty that day.

For that reason, Tillis, who was originally off duty today, ended up working in this position.

“Why did he take a vacation today of all days? I had an important appointment today!”

“If you want to rest, rest. Go and rest for a long, long time.”

“Ah, I don’t need to rest for that long! It’s just that I’m missing a few hours.”

She seemed to feel much better after venting her grievances. Tillis, who had also cheerfully thrown away her tact and common sense, grumbled.

“I just need a little bit of time to keep my appointment.”

“What kind of appointment was it?”

“Well, Shuria invited the knights who are off duty today to the breeding grounds!”

Crack.

At the single word ‘Shuria’ that pierced his eardrums intensely, the pen rolling in Aspeiran’s hand completely crumbled to dust.

Shuria. That damned Shuria.

There had been several subordinates he cared for quite a bit over the years, but this was the first time someone had invaded the depths of his mind to the point of interfering with his daily life.

Aspeiran threw the new pen that Tillis had offered into the corner of the desk and stood by the window. Tillis, still unable to read the atmosphere, followed closely and chattered.

“The Captain and the other knights must all be having a good time, right?”

“…”

“So, my lord, don’t you have any reason to go to the breeding grounds today?”

“Why would I go there?”

Aspeiran retorted sharply. Because of this impertinent fool, the name he had tried so hard to drive out was once again occupying his mind. It was maddening.

Aspeiran took a small deep breath. He needed to calm his mind. Let’s organize his thoughts.

I shouldn’t go anywhere near the breeding grounds for a while. At least until I’m certain I won’t have such a bizarre dream again…

But at that moment, a thought struck Aspeiran’s mind strongly.

…Come to think of it, those knight bastards said yesterday they would go to Shuria tomorrow. Is that what this appointment is about?

Which means, those fools who were spouting nonsense about wanting to bring hamsters and rabbits to Shuria for a date request are there right now.

“…”

It’s irritating.

Aspeiran’s mind raced quickly. Unlike his usual cold and objective assessment of situations, this time it was entirely in a direction favorable to himself.

Something irritating has come up. Then it should be cleared away. My instincts are accurate, and if I don’t take care of it in time, troublesome things might happen.

Yes, I should go to the breeding grounds as soon as possible to resolve this issue.

This was absolutely not because of Shuria. It’s to clean up what’s irritating.

Aspeiran intentionally ignored the task of identifying the cause of the irritation and strode towards the door. Tillis asked glumly from behind.

“Where are you going?”

“Cleaning.”

“Pardon?”

Aspeiran moved without hesitation, and Tillis hurriedly followed.

And when they left the palace, Aspeiran had suddenly vanished.

He had used spatial movement magic.

“Ah―! My lord―!”

Kwaaang, the abandoned guard knight wailed.

But the lord was too strong to care whether his guard knight cried or not.

On a peaceful afternoon with a breeze blowing more warmly than yesterday.

On this nice day, a cool tension was swirling in my cozy breeding grounds.

I looked around, clasping my hands tightly. Ten knights with magnificent physiques and trained muscles surrounding me like a folding screen.

They all had equally serious expressions on their faces. I’m probably the same. I whispered quietly while rubbing my hands.

“Then… shall we begin now?”

“The time has come.”

“Very well.”

The knights nodded gravely. Alright. I took a small deep breath.

And raising one fist, I solemnly shouted.

“Operation name, ‘Dog Laundry’!”

“Commence!”

Heave-ho! Heave-ho! Heave-ho!

We enthusiastically waved our fists and let out energetic shouts. Spinning round and round like primitive people performing a hunting prayer dance.

There was a good reason why I was doing such strange things now, even calling busy knights.

To explain the circumstances, the story goes back to a few weeks ago.