Didn't Plan to Become a Companion - Chapter 62

As if she didn’t care about my answer, she picked up even the drink meant for me and continued speaking.

“But it’s certainly not easy. Among all the men I’ve met so far, Zenok Schmitz was the most difficult to deal with.”

“Ethan Schmitz.”

“Yes, that Schmitz was the most impregnable to me. But this Prince Faquin of the Dermeyer Empire is even more so.”

‘An iron fortress, an iron fortress.’ Sabrina’s playful teasing made me burst into laughter.

Although I laughed at Sabrina’s joke, it was also something I couldn’t understand at all. These days, Julian sent flowers and gifts to Sabrina almost every other day.

“What exactly is your real goal in meeting Prince Faquin?”

“What else? To love and be loved passionately. To see the face of a man who rushes towards me like a madman without calculating anything. Even if it’s just for a brief moment.”

What’s the meaning in that? What do such moments leave for you?

“Don’t those flowers have that kind of meaning?”

The flowers, too many to fit in one room and spilling outside, were sprawled about haphazardly.

“Those are Julian’s clear expression of his goal.”

“Goal? What’s that?”

“To sleep with me.”

‘Ha.’ Is the order of things really that important? What meaning is there in that?

While I was thinking about these pointless questions, Sabrina stretched her body and leaned towards me. The sudden waft of rose scent made me furrow my brow slightly.

“You’re thinking, ‘What’s the meaning in that?’ aren’t you?”

Not particularly inclined to deny it, I snatched back my drink from her and took a swig of the cold beverage. The drink that cooled even my chest gave me a momentary feeling of relief.

“Why is there no meaning? The memory of loving and being loved remains. Men can sleep with women they don’t care about, but I don’t like that. Well, you probably can’t relate much to what someone like me, who likes just about anyone, is saying.”

“……”

“I think all those moments connect to complete one life.”

Is that so? Can it really be like that? Listening to Sabrina’s words, I felt as if I had truly been inspired by her philosophy. But it’s not like I can make it happen just because I want to.

Sabrina’s low, mischievous voice penetrated my thoughts.

‘Lienne.’ The fluttering call of my name made me tense up automatically.

“You treat men too difficultly. That way, men continue to become more complex beings.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Think simply, if you want to seduce them.”

“W-who said I wanted to seduce anyone?”

“That’s exactly what I mean. Oh, innocent Lienne. But I hear he does respond when you make a move.”

“M-make a move? You always have to say things like…”

“Wasn’t that making a move?”

I wanted to strongly deny it, but I couldn’t find an appropriate word to replace ‘making a move’. After all, the number of times I had suddenly stolen Ricardo’s lips was already four.

It’s also true that Ricardo kindly accepted my lip-stealing.

And it’s undeniably true that I’m earnestly pursuing him alone, even knowing he’s not the kind of man to fall for seduction.

Although I didn’t fully understand Sabrina’s words, I didn’t want to let my one love in Dermeyer slip away like this. It felt as if the memories I shared with him would complete my life.

“Well, I’d need to be able to meet him to try seducing.”

“So the next time you meet, no matter what…”

Sabrina winked at me. ‘You know?’ she smiled suggestively. At times like this, I could understand why men blushed at her reputation despite hearing about it.

Her frankness and boldness were so characteristic of her.

I pushed her away and glared, but I couldn’t stop my face from turning red like the men who admired Sabrina.

Ah, I must be truly crazy. To be blushing when I barely know anything.

“I don’t know how this will sound, but my romances were always sincere. That requires a lot of courage.”

I knew better than anyone that her words were true. Sabrina hadn’t always aimed for such casual romances from the beginning.

The Sabrina who cried all night, hurt, was certainly the same Sabrina.

‘Sincerity…’

Suddenly, Ricardo’s dark eyes that had come so close to me flashed in my mind. My face grew even redder as I remembered his touch, strongly pulling my back and entwining his fingers in my hair.

Such moments often continued. In between meals, while walking and kicking a pebble on the road.

That day, was it also his sincerity that he didn’t push me away?

“What thoughts are making your face so red?”

“S-shut up.”

“Oh my, our Lienne has become all grown up.”

“Please, Sabrina. Shut that mouth.”

As I growled, gritting my teeth, Sabrina shrugged and leaned back properly in her chair.

Behind her, the flowers in full bloom were clamoring to be noticed. There was one flower that caught my eye, and I fell into thought for a moment.

The bouquet, too large to be fully embraced even with both arms spread wide, was filled with bright yellow roses.

“Sabrina, if it were you.”

Every noblewoman in Lesotia admires the social circles of the Dermeyer Empire.

“If it were you… would you wear a yellow rose? Even if it became an opportunity?”

When I had previously talked about yellow roses, Sabrina, being a woman well-versed in social circles, already knew about the rose and the identity of the Enehaz night party.

When I asked how such a vulgar and disrespectful custom could exist, she had merely shrugged.

“Absolutely not.”

“Right?”

“Yes, do you know how much money it takes to get in there? I don’t take such risks.”

Huh… Well, of course, it was my mistake to expect noble pride from you in the first place. Weren’t nobles supposed to live and die by their pride? Thinking about it that way, even being a noble seemed unremarkable.

“A woman never chases the bee. She should make the bee come to her. Fluttering its wings.”

I couldn’t help but laugh out loud at her, flapping her arms as if she were a bee herself.

It felt like I had returned to my home in Lesotia. If I were to say I’m so glad you’re here, would you make a weird face with a furrowed brow? Instead of saying such embarrassing words, I just laughed heartily.

Hoping that my joy of being with you would be conveyed.

“Julian says there will be a summer hunt soon.”

“Summer hunt?”

It was the first time I’d heard of it. Even though I was at the duke’s residence, living in the winter region often made me forget that I was living under Rochester’s protection.

It just felt like I was on a trip a little far from home.

After Ricardo received the sacred sword from the crown prince, it became a bit harder to go outside, but nothing else had really changed. I didn’t need to go outside the mansion anyway, as everything I needed was already there.

I played with the chickens and took walks with Jonathan like before. Ricardo made sure that Jonathan could receive basic education even here. Such small considerations made my heart lean towards him.

Time flew by cruelly fast even when I couldn’t meet him.

“Yes, it’s an annual event, but this year’s scale seems to be even grander. I’ve been invited by Julian so I’ll be going, and you’ll definitely be going with our young lord.”

As Sabrina said, if there’s a big event like the summer hunt, Freddie comes to this house about a week before, with a carriage full of items.

The duchess sends more than ten outfits for me to choose from directly. It was embarrassing every time I received them, but it was also comfortable to be able to wear clothes that I liked.

“Will you be okay?”

“With what?”

“You hate forests, don’t you?”

Sabrina frowned as if she had heard something absurd.

“Lienne, what kind of forest are you imagining?”

“A forest is a forest, is there something special about Dermeyer forests?”

“Don’t even dream of acting recklessly like you did in the forest near home. At these hunting festivals, a woman’s usefulness is limited to wearing a form-fitting hunting outfit and supporting a man’s shoulder.”

This time, my brow furrowed involuntarily. I was reminded of the face of the young woman who had dropped yellow roses on the floor one after another. Her awkward expression, smiling as if painted on, even as she was led away by the hand of an older man.

Whenever I heard such stories, I wanted to escape quickly from this barbaric social culture.

I missed the spring of Lesotia, the small festivals held in the village, the trivial conversations shared among the neighborhood women.

“It sounds dreadful. Do I have to wear riding clothes even though I don’t know how to ride a horse?”

“Don’t worry. There will never be a moment when you have to ride a horse alone anyway.”

But is it really okay not to know how to ride a horse at all? Before I could even ponder this new worry, I saw Freddie’s carriage approaching in the distance.

I glanced around at the flowers that had come to our house with clear intentions. Not knowing that among them were flowers that belonged to someone else.

The season of the summer hunt had returned.