Didn't Plan to Become a Companion - Chapter 60

I held my breath at the words that sounded like an attack.

“So, what did you talk about? With that nice person?”

“That there was no need to pick up my shoe……”

Though he asked lightly with seemingly empty eyes, there was also a certain heat in his gaze.

“No, on the balcony.”

“Ah……”

For a moment, I was at a loss for words. Though I hadn’t deliberately hidden anything, I somehow felt like I was being interrogated. It would be strange to ask, ‘How did you know?’

Asking ‘Did you see?’ would be even stranger……

The bigger problem was that because of Ricardo’s gaze, I couldn’t recall any of the conversation I had with Walter. Like the day I realized my hopeless heart was beyond salvation, my breath caught in my throat, making it difficult to exhale properly.

I thought it would be fine if I didn’t make eye contact, but as if tied down, my gaze wouldn’t easily turn away.

“What… did we talk about.”

“Why did you laugh?”

Did I laugh?

“Ah! I heard why Young Master Chaplin was hiding on that balcony.”

Ricardo’s brow furrowed slightly as if it was the wrong answer, but once started, the story just wouldn’t stop. Like an idiot who had lost all reason.

“It was for the same reason as me. Of course, I was there because the young master told me to go. I mean, Young Master Rochester.”

“What was that reason?”

“Oh, the young master, that is, Young Master Chaplin, said he was hiding on that balcony because he couldn’t dance.”

This time, Ricardo’s face crumpled completely, leaving no room for doubt.

“Walter… said that?”

As if an answer wasn’t needed, he laughed incredulously and muttered to himself.

“He said that… Walter? Ha, confession after resentment and self-blame.”

What Ricardo was saying was correct, but hearing it like that felt a bit strange. Just hearing the words gave off the strong impression that something grand had occurred between Walter and me.

“The young master, that is, Young Master Chaplin, didn’t explain why he couldn’t dance. So it wasn’t really a confession……”

I hastily added, but the latter part of my words trailed off. It didn’t seem to make much difference to him.

“The young master, I mean, Young Master Rochester might misunderstand……”

“Ricardo.”

“Yes?”

“Call me Ricardo. You know my name. You.”

“……”

“Are you planning to call both him and me ‘young master’ the same way? We’re engaged now. We’ve even had a proper engagement ceremony with all the trimmings.”

Because of the man who permitted his name with cold eyes, I had to briefly cover my mouth with my hand.

I recalled Ricardo’s face from childhood, telling me his name like he was teaching me a flower’s name on a windy hill. Even then, he had spoken with that cool voice.

“That, that’s difficult.”

At my refusal, his face momentarily hardened. Soon, he tilted his head quizzically. As if to ask for the reason.

“If I start calling you by name, I’ll end up doing something you dislike again.”

“What’s that?”

“Calling you by a pet name. Even now, my mouth is itching to do so.”

A crease formed between his brows. I thought a refusal was coming, but.

“Go ahead. That Rica or whatever. As you like.”

“Really?”

“Yes, you’re my fiancée after all. A pet name is better than ‘young master.'”

I bit my lower lip hard. Trying to calm my lips that kept trying to curl upwards.

Watching this, Ricardo laughed softly. I liked the atmosphere that had become much softer than before.

At this moment, it felt like nothing else mattered, whatever lay ahead of us. Even if all that was before us was a cliff with no visible bottom, it was fine.

As long as I could see him smile.

Ricardo rested his arm on the window and leaned his head on it. Whenever I saw his face, I would forget where I was, no matter the moment.

This was exactly one of those times.

The sharp line of his jaw and long neck moving under the dim light that drove away the darkness in the carriage, the slender body that didn’t look clumsy despite broad shoulders, and the moment his long legs crossed.

It was when I was blushing alone, remembering the feeling of his black hair digging into my fingers. As he gazed at me intensely, he gently spoke.

“There’s something I’ve been curious about for a while.”

When I asked ‘What is it?’, he lowered his arm from the windowsill and interlocked his fingers, placing them on his knee.

Because of him approaching suddenly, I unconsciously backed away with a start.

“I achieved awakening almost simultaneously with manifestation.”

“Ah……”

“The duchess said it was right after I met you. More precisely, after I returned to Lessotia to save you.”

Somehow feeling like I was being scolded for a great wrongdoing, I unconsciously straightened my posture. My neatly trimmed nails came into view.

“The duchess was certain that you not only caused my manifestation but also my awakening.”

As I said nothing and just rubbed my poor nails, Ricardo’s hot hand lifted my chin. It was larger and much hotter than I remembered.

“How did you do it?”

“I, I don’t know.”

Looking into my eyes, he smirked.

“You do know.”

I quietly cursed under my breath and turned my gaze away from him. But when he called, ‘Lienne.’ in an affectionate and yearning tone, my face turned back involuntarily.

“I want to know. How you awakened me.”

“You… want to know?”

“Yes.”

With love beckoning desperately before my eyes, there were no words I couldn’t speak. Nevertheless, silence lingered between us for a moment.

Did I really not know? That I had awakened him. Hadn’t I vaguely known? Since I had seen that clear moment when the evidence of awakening appeared.

I had just been avoiding it. Because it was a memory that would be forgotten anyway.

I slowly reached out to Ricardo’s other hand that wasn’t holding my chin. At this action, his fingertips on my chin trembled slightly. I quietly slipped between his fingers to prevent him from escaping from me.

A face like an impregnable fortress that seemed it would never crumble no matter what happened, stared directly at me. For a moment hesitation arose, but I steeled my resolve.

Ricardo said he wanted to know, and I had decided not to run away while I was with him. If he didn’t want it, we wouldn’t clash, but Ricardo hadn’t refused me yet.

I love you.

There was no way he couldn’t hear what my eyes were clearly saying. Like a child who doesn’t fear the sea because they don’t know its depth, I slowly stood up while holding his hand.

Then I went straight to his lap and plopped down. I wanted to move skillfully and lightly, but in reality, my legs were weak and didn’t cooperate.

Ricardo’s pitch-black eyes, as if trying to focus, lightened and narrowed, coming into sharp view. He smiled with a furrowed brow.

That night was like this too.

On the border between boy and young man, with a slightly softer jaw than now.

Even when I approached him as he told me to say what I wanted to say for the last time, since he wouldn’t remember anyway, Ricardo looked at me with exactly the same expression as now.

“You said you really wanted to know, right?”

Instead of answering, Ricardo moved his Adam’s apple greatly. It was a face that already knew the answer.

Gripping his collar so tightly my knuckles turned white, I slowly approached. Back then, I was quick as if stealing, but now there was no need for that.

Since I was in the position of answering his question, he couldn’t rush me as he waited for the answer.

Though I approached unhurriedly, our lips met faster than I thought.

I who had actually approached was startled, but without retreating, I gently sucked on his lower lip. At the softness that I couldn’t believe was part of Ricardo’s body, my breath stopped for a moment in that state.

Releasing the lip I had been holding in my mouth, I slowly moved away from him.

Still unable to open my eyes.

When I finally managed to lift my eyelids, the light in his eyes was exactly the same color as 7 years ago.

Purple.

A strange and unfamiliar color that couldn’t be explained by the carriage lamp, nor could it possibly be reflected in his pupils.

‘What on earth is this emotion?’

As back then, that mysterious color disappeared in an instant, before I could even gauge it. As if I could insist to myself that I had seen wrong if I closed my eyes and shook my head.

“I only realized recently too. That you achieved awakening then.”

“……”

“No, maybe I knew but didn’t want to know. Because if only I didn’t know, the whole world wouldn’t be able to know……”

The laboriously offered excuse couldn’t continue any further. After that, I only remember being swept away somewhere by the urgent touch that followed, not a single moment properly remembered.

The sound of wet lips sucking in a tongue drowned out all surrounding noise.

Though my mind went blank, I hadn’t finished saying everything I wanted to say. I pushed against his chest with my hands and caught my breath.