Didn't Plan to Become a Companion - Chapter 37

“What did Walter do?”

The voice was so cold that I involuntarily shuddered.

“No, it’s not what he did. He disappeared with me holding that flower, so you need to tell them the family name and handle the situation.”

“…”

“Since you couldn’t remember, you didn’t know why I was there. You said you had no intention of taking me as a lover or mistress…”

Even as the explanation continued, his chilly demeanor showed no signs of softening. Wasn’t he the one who usually maintained an indifferent attitude, seeming uninterested in everything? I couldn’t understand why he was acting as if he was about to start a war since earlier.

“He seemed quite embarrassed too. As you saw directly, it was truly an accidental occurrence.”

Ricardo, seemingly recalling the events at the banquet hall, barely managed to soften his demeanor.

Silence returned once more. The sound of rain, now stronger than before, filled the silence between the two of us.

Though Ricardo and I said nothing, he seemed to have no intention of withdrawing his persistent gaze. He looked me over like a predator contemplating which part of the deer crushed under its feet to devour first.

Without showing the slightest hint of emotion towards the deer.

I didn’t even want to imagine how I, trembling before him, appeared in his pitch-black eyes.

“By the way, what did the duchess ask you to deliver?”

“That’s…”

I couldn’t bring myself to speak and kept my mouth shut tight. How could I say it? The item I had to deliver to him.

“It must be a handkerchief. With the family crest embroidered on it.”

“You knew?”

“I guessed, from the moment you appeared.”

Somehow, I felt completely deflated. Today had been quite a day for me. A series of unfair events. Should I consider it fortunate that I didn’t hand over the handkerchief in front of so many people?

“We’re heading to the Enehaz estate now.”

“For what… reason?”

I found myself searching for meaning in his words, something that had become familiar to me lately. Especially these days when I was living relying on the kindness Ricardo tossed out casually.

Liking someone was actually such an absurd thing.

Losing oneself. Knowing this about myself but being unable to do anything about it.

Was it because I knew I’d be hurt no matter what conclusion he reached? Looking like a fool, terrified and just waiting for his judgment.

“Do you know what that handkerchief means?”

“I think I… vaguely know?”

Ricardo laughed as if in disbelief. Even so, wanting to cling to that laughter was because of how desperate I was right now.

“To be precise, coming to me with that handkerchief means you’re my woman.”

Knowing that much already, I nodded obediently.

“And one approved by the family.”

“I guessed that far too.”

“It also means you’re giving me your night tonight.”

“What?”

“That’s what it means. That’s why we’re going back to Enehaz now.”

Ha, I was too dumbfounded to speak. It seemed my unfair day wasn’t over yet.

“To receive your night.”

Upset by his emotionless voice, I pointlessly glared out the window. The reason for my growing resentment, despite it not being Ricardo’s fault, was probably because his expression remained so calm. Outside, the rain poured down relentlessly, and he continued speaking mercilessly.

“Of course, if you hadn’t disappeared with Walter, this custom wouldn’t have been necessary.”

“…”

“I erased the memories of those who saw you two vanish together like smoke, but I couldn’t stop the rumors of you leaving the banquet hall together. There are circumstances, you see. There’s a limit to distorting memories, and Walter is quite a famous figure, and also…”

Also? What? As he trailed off, even the sound of rain beating against the carriage seemed to fade away.

“You drew too much attention.”

Well, the atmosphere was like that then. A woman was rushing towards Duke Chaplin, and I, colliding with him, let out quite a loud scream.

As I nodded, Ricardo crossed his arms and stretched out. Tilting his head slightly, his downcast eyes towards me were filled with coldness.

According to him, I needed to return to the banquet hall. To avoid entangling the two ducal families in an unusual scandal.

“I’ve caused you trouble.”

“Always, a bit. But today, not necessarily.”

“Why is that?”

“I was planning to announce it today anyway.”

“Announce what?”

“The fact that we’re engaged.”

“We’re… engaged…?”

“Yes.”

“We are?”

As Ricardo nodded, I covered my mouth. I couldn’t be sure what expression I was making.

I couldn’t tell if I was feeling conflicted about taking the position of fiancée to a man who had another woman, relieved that I could stay safe for the time being, or if I just wanted to run away from this place right now.

Observing my expression, his eyes lit up with interest.

“It’s unbelievable.”

“Wh-what is?”

“This isn’t the reaction I’d expect from a woman who barged into my room not long ago, begging to be engaged.”

“Ah, that…”

“Back then, you said you’d lick my feet naked if I just saved your family…”

Inwardly cursing, I jumped up and covered his mouth. At that moment, the carriage shook violently, and Ricardo’s suddenly outstretched arm tightly gripped my waist.

“Ah…!”

By the time I came to my senses, it was already too late. My bottom was properly seated on his thigh, and both my hands were planted on his firm chest. And Ricardo was holding my waist, pulling me tightly into his embrace.

For a moment, my mind went blank.

As if my whole body was submerged in water, all awareness of the situation faded away, and fear that I wouldn’t be able to breathe soon washed over me.

The eyes I met in this hazy world dyed my entire world pitch black.

“I-I’m sorry.”

Having barely regained my senses, I tried to move away from him. However, despite my efforts, my body was soon pulled back down to him as if drawn. His face was so close.

Ricardo slowly closed and opened his eyes. We were close enough that I could see the blue veins protruding on his eyelids.

The sound of my heartbeat pounded in my ears, and his heart hammered against my palm.

As our breaths mingled, a thought suddenly struck me.

You’re really alive, right here in front of my eyes.

It was an absurdly random thought.

For the first time since meeting him again, he felt real. Not a dream or a fleeting illusion appearing and disappearing in the distance.

Without realizing it, I brought my hand to his cheek. I felt nothing but Ricardo’s slightly trembling eyes and the soft sensation of his skin against my hand.

Had time stopped? In fact, time had never been that important between you and me.

But suddenly, he wrapped his hand around my head and pulled me into his embrace.

Unable to believe the situation, I flailed my arms in the air.

At that moment, the sigh he breathed out above my head pierced my ears vividly. My heart, which had been beating sharply until just now, pounded in my chest to the point of dizziness.

“What should I do with you…”

There was no other reaction to show to a question with a predetermined answer. Perhaps he too couldn’t answer, as he didn’t say anything more after that.

Neither the sound of rain nor the rolling of the carriage could be heard anymore.

I quietly listened to his heartbeat.

Even as a child, I often fell asleep listening to his heartbeat. Especially on days with heavy rain like today.

How much time had passed? Even after that, he said nothing as he held me in his arms. Except for the occasional soft breath that tingled my nape.

I was curious about his expression as he remained silent. But even moving my palm slightly on his chest felt impossibly difficult.

I was overwhelmed by a strange feeling, wishing for this suffocating tension to pass quickly, yet also hoping it would continue forever.

The rain seemed to have subsided, as the surroundings became a little quieter. I carefully lifted my face from his chest and looked at him. Our eyes met immediately, as if he had been watching me the whole time. At that moment, my heart plummeted, making a thudding sound.

There was no particular expression on Ricardo’s face. Was it my imagination that his eyes seemed a bit darker?

It was so quiet I wondered if my ears were broken. Whenever I met his eyes, I felt disconnected from the world, regardless of when or where.

“What… do you want to do with me?”

Fear surged, but the words came out on their own. His dark eyes trembled slightly. The desire to provoke him and the urge to run away from him tangled chaotically.

It felt like it didn’t matter who he was or who I was right now. All that mattered was that he was alive and pulsing in sync with my heartbeat.

After a moment, faced with his intense gaze, it was once again I who surrendered and averted my eyes.