“What are you guys doing right now?”

Even though I didn’t raise my voice much, they stuttered and could only make sounds, unable to answer quickly.

“I asked, what are you doing?”

At that, Betty stood up abruptly with wide eyes.

“C-can’t you see? We’re lighting a fire.”

She was a maid with a brown ponytail, a face full of freckles, and a look of mischief. Being a year older than the other maids, she usually acted as their leader and seemed quick to grasp the situation.

“What’s the point of lighting a fire after someone has died? What kind of sick hobby is that?”

The maids who had risen from the floor following Betty were now staring at me as if I were a ghost, bewildered by my strange words.

“W-what do you mean by that?”

Just as I was about to answer, I felt a hunger like death itself. There was no need to think about what I had eaten. For the past three days, I had no memory of seeing proper food. So, with my empty stomach, I couldn’t withstand even this much cold and lost my life. As soon as I realized this, anger began to stir within me, making its presence known.

The blazing fire in the fireplace lit up the wick in my eyes.

“You… Now, me!”

Rumble boom boom, a flash of lightning flickered across my face through the dark clouds and disappeared. Even Betty’s face, which had been defiantly raised until just now, was struck with fear.

“Did you abuse me?”

Rumble boom, thunder struck again, and simultaneously, a thick bolt of lightning struck the ground. Looking back, I realized the past three days leading up to my death were truly terrifying. It was so cold and lonely.

“Did you slowly kill me all this time?”

At my repeated shouts, the youngest maid among them screamed “Aaaah!” and fell on her bottom. I seized the opportunity and rushed to grab Betty’s ponytail.

“How dare you abuse the master’s daughter!”

With her hair in my grip, Betty’s eyes turned bloodshot, showing the whites of her eyes due to her taut scalp, while the girl who had fallen to the floor couldn’t even get up and just trembled.

“Do you really know what you’ve done?”

“M-miss. Please forgive us.”

“Go get me something to eat right now. I’ll think about forgiveness later.”

Now that the lamp to drive away the pitch-black darkness and the fireplace to ease the deathly cold had been filled, it was time to satisfy my hunger. My hands were shaking so much that it was hard to even stand.

After sending everyone out, including Betty whose hair was still in my bony grip, I returned to the bed and slumped down. The fire in the fireplace, which had been fiercely flickering until just now, now emitted a steady light and calmed down.

While I was pondering what to ask the maids first, they returned to the room, having faithfully carried out their assigned task.

“Miss Lienne, we’ve brought food.”

Looking around, there was only a shelf by the window, typically used for placing flower pots, but nowhere suitable to sit and eat.

“You, go bring a chair.”

Thanks to one maid moving quickly, soon a floral patterned satin chair that one might expect to see in a reception room was brought into my room. It was so out of place in this colorless room that it was almost laughable.

In fact, the meal had begun hastily even before the chair was brought. Fortunately, my starved stomach didn’t reject the food.

“B-but, miss.”

I glanced at her, glaring at the trembling voice.

“What?”

“Weren’t you… unable to speak?”

This was the reason the maids feared me, even though nothing else had changed. Until now, I hadn’t spoken a word. It wasn’t that I couldn’t. No, I was too afraid to open my mouth, so I suppose it’s correct to say I couldn’t.

If Ricardo was the nameless child of the east wing, I was the mute illegitimate child of the west wing.

So they thought they could do anything to me because I couldn’t tell on them.

“I wasn’t.”

I first came to this house when I was about 5 years old. For some reason, Count Pennel suddenly appeared and took me in. My mother was dead. Naturally, there were no warm memories.

Memories of crouching in a corner of the room, memories of being pushed by someone’s strong hand, memories of being hungry, memories of being in a lot of pain…

“So be careful from now on.”

Except for the occasional visits from a tall man, no one else came in and out of this room. Though I wasn’t forbidden from going out, I rarely left the room. If I went out, I had to face those who tormented me.

I had no standards for what was allowed and what wasn’t.

“If the Count finds out that I died because of you, he won’t let it slide.”

Of course, I couldn’t be sure if this was true, but it was enough to intimidate the maids into keeping their mouths shut.

“Where is the Count?”

“The Count left three days ago, saying he was going to inspect the merchant guild.”

A man with silver hair and blue eyes, a man with the same colors as me. He was rarely at home.

“What about the Countess?”

“She’s in her bedroom.”

His wife and my stepmother – I can barely remember her face. All I can recall is the downturned corners of her mouth and her eyes full of depression looking down at me.

After some time, the room was modestly but adequately furnished.

Although it still didn’t match the floral patterned satin chair, a long-legged desk was also provided.

Feeling a disconnect between my small body and mature actions, I sat down and tapped the desk rhythmically with my finger. Tap tap tap tap.

If the Count and Justin left three days ago, they wouldn’t return to the mansion for a while. I didn’t know how long that period would be, but it was clear that this was my opportunity.

I closed my eyes for a moment, pressing my interlocked hands to my lips.

‘Where and how should I start?’

Ricardo and I actually had almost no connection. Until he left the Pennel family, I had only seen him a handful of times.

We were just acquaintances who occasionally met on the hill in the backyard. We hadn’t even had a proper conversation.

‘First, I need to meet him.’

Recalling Ricardo, who had sharpened his thorns like a well-honed sword, I felt overwhelmed.

Anyway, I needed to get closer to him, whether to protect him from Justin or do something else…

As the anxious and frustrated feelings wouldn’t easily subside, I stretched my neck left and right and then lightly shook my head.

Yes, what more could I fear after experiencing starvation and freezing to death simultaneously?

There was a mirror with a diagonal crack on the desk. It was a small mirror, not even big enough to show my whole face, but I leaned in close and grabbed a handful of hair that had been covering my eyes. I cut it off without hesitation, and the blue eyes, almost a symbol of the Pennel family, flashed brightly.

The face I saw was completely different from my childhood memories. What exactly had changed? Then I suddenly realized.

Fear.

The very terror that had gnawed at me and ultimately led to my death had completely disappeared.

Only that one thing had changed, yet everything around me began to appear clearly.

“Yes, don’t be afraid. I can do this.”

I muttered to no one in particular and looked out the window. The rain was still pouring heavily, and it was still impossible to see anything outside.

* * *

Come to think of it, it wasn’t just the disappearance of fear that had changed.

“Give it here!”

“…What?”

Seeing how ridiculous that dark brown-haired girl looked as she threw a tantrum, demanding the book in my hand…

Is this a natural result of dying and coming back to life?

“That book. How do you have a book?”

“This is…”

The day after I woke up from death, the weather was clear, in stark contrast to the rain that had seemed to pierce the sky. As soon as I woke up, I looked for the tall man who often came to see me. I only found out after meeting him, but he was a vassal of the Pennel family and the head butler of this household.

His eyes widened when I said I wanted to read a book. He seemed to ponder for a moment how to deal with me, but he personally took me to the family library.

“I borrowed it myself. If you need one, go and find one to read.”

Only then did those bright green eyes realize something was wrong.

“You… you can talk?”

“At least better than you, I’d say.”

“W-what?”

Sabrina Lowy Pennel was the same age as me. That was the problem. How could we be the same age when we weren’t even twins? Moreover, even Justin wasn’t the biological son of the current Countess. There was also a younger brother named Jonathan, but I couldn’t even properly remember his face.

In this world, it wasn’t a problem for a man to bring home a child from outside. I had heard that there were several illegitimate children besides me.

The problem was that Lady Pennel loved her husband. In this reality, a woman who loves her husband inevitably becomes unhappy.

Lady Pennel could hate me, the evidence of her husband’s infidelity, but she couldn’t drive me away. Begging for love from her husband wasn’t virtuous in noble society. So she destroyed herself.

A mother suffering from depression as an illness, a father who was always absent.

Somehow, I felt a bit sorry for the child in front of me.

“There’s no way someone like you could be better than me at anything!”

I looked at Sabrina, who was throwing a fit, with pitying eyes for a moment.

“Y-you, why are you looking at me like that?”

She’s quite perceptive.