At the End of Ruin, There You Are - Chapter 56

That night, the Grand Duke naturally did not leave his bedroom.

“When the weather starts to warm up, accidents become frequent and it’s easy to catch a cold.”

Above all, saying it’s important to keep the body warm, the Grand Duke embraced Kaella as soon as she came out of the bath, before her body could cool down.

“I’ll dry your hair for you, so go on out.”

Seating her in front of the fireplace, Peon sent the maids away and put his hand on the towel wrapped around her head. To her look of surprise that he knew how to do this, he smiled gently.

“I often saw my mother doing it.”

It was the first time Kaella had heard him refer to the Empress as ‘mother’ rather than ‘Her Majesty the Empress’. She glanced at him briefly, then turned her gaze away and muttered.

“Your Highness should dry your hair too.”

Peon, who had bathed first and was waiting, also had a towel roughly placed on his head.

“My hair is short, so it’s fine if I just shake it out.”

Though his hair, resembling his mother’s ebony locks, was thick to the point of being dense, and had grown slightly longer since the wedding, making it not quite suitable to just ‘shake out’, he simply grinned.

Kaella lowered her head. She was embarrassed for having shown the sight of eating hastily and then foolishly vomiting. Death and pride were separate matters. This time, even if she were to die, she wanted to die with her head held high and dignity intact. That’s why she felt even more ashamed.

“Today, the chef prepared a special meal for the rain. I enjoyed it very much too. You chose the chef very well.”

While drying her long, luscious platinum blonde hair with the towel, Peon assessed his wife’s nutritional state. No matter how he looked at it, she needed to eat more.

“It was a welcome meal for me too, but how much more so for you, I wonder. I know you always long for the warm south in this cold place.”

And he would never be able to enter the list of things Kaella longed for.

That was a natural consequence for a sinner, not even worthy of being called a punishment. But somehow, to Peon, it felt as difficult and painful as a punishment. If that’s the case, wouldn’t it be fortunate for Kaella?

“If you had been healthy, you would have eaten well.”

Grooming hair is no ordinary task. One must oil the precious horsehair brush and brush many times. Peon repeated this task as if it were nothing.

“It wasn’t a comfortable dining situation either. I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

Kaella abruptly asked a question she wouldn’t have normally asked.

“If you’re apologizing on behalf of what Lady Lavalle said, don’t. If you apologize for what the mistress did, it means Your Highness is on the mistress’s side. It will continue to be so in the future, so it sounds like you’re telling me to just accept the apology.”

After spitting out those words, her heart suddenly shrank. She was scared. Would he get angry? He probably would.

Peon became too frightening when he was angry. But since she had endured and dealt with such terrifying and fearsome anger before, Kaella just said what she wanted to say.

As much as Beatrice was precious to Peon, she too had something precious. There was something she wanted to protect until the very end, even in death.

“That’s not what I was trying to apologize for. I explained clearly. It’s not my fault if someone doesn’t understand that and rudely behaves disrespectfully towards you due to their lack of intelligence.”

What? Kaella blinked. Intelligence?

Surprised, Kaella turned to look at the man known as the highly respected ruler of the North, the knight of knights, of humble birth but considered the most noble of men.

Peon gently grasped her long hair and carefully combed it to the ends. It was a much more careful touch than when he used to groom his warhorse’s mane. In that sense, it seems the treatment of the Grand Duchess has improved beyond that of a warhorse.

“I’m sorry for suddenly interjecting and saying uncomfortable things during the meal. That’s what I wanted to apologize for. I interrupted the conversation.”

He was referring to how he had stepped in before Kaella could respond to Beatrice’s provocation.

“I think you may have gotten indigestion because of me too.”

“No, that’s not it.”

Kaella hastily shook her head.

“Your Highness spoke up for my sake, didn’t you? It wasn’t because of you that I got indigestion.”

“Ah. Then it was indeed because of Lady Lavalle.”

Was it just her imagination that for a moment, Peon’s eyes flashed dangerously? No, his eyes were still menacing. His unblinking gaze fixed solely on her seemed as if it could kill someone. But somehow, Kaella wasn’t afraid of that gaze.

“…I ate too hastily, didn’t I?”

“The only person who said such things at that table was that woman Lady Lavalle, and neither I nor Isidore think that way. I was glad to see you eating well, or are my eyes mistaken?”

Kaella once again met Peon’s eyes, which she still found difficult to look at directly. When she did meet his gaze, he smiled gently.

“You should eat well. Eat a lot, digest well, and become healthy. About the belt comment, that was my mistake too. You must have been displeased, so I apologize.”

“…I wasn’t displeased.”

Thinking about it again, that was true.

“I was surprised that Your Highness took my side.”

Because she thought that would never happen.

“As your husband, of course I should.”

No. There was nothing ‘of course’ between them.

“Thank you for playing the role of a husband.”

It was a relationship where they had to exchange such courtesies precisely because nothing was taken for granted.

“The belt comment was something only my husband could say.”

“Indeed, and I know it well.”

“You know?”

“I do. If you touch it, you can roughly tell.”

“Ah, so it’s based on experience.”

As Kaella calmly acknowledged this, Peon, who had been calm until now, suddenly became flustered.

“Experience, no, it’s not from experience, well it is experience but here in Lucenford roughly estimating everything is everyday life, not women. No. Absolutely not, Kaella. The, I mean, the waist measurements I know are only mine and yours.”

Adeo de Chasseur always taught his daughter to never believe what men say.

Adeo’s main point was that the words of a man with a clear past are especially nonsense, said only to sound good to the ears, and contain not a shred of sincerity. Kaella, who had been educated on this from a very young age, did not believe those words.

Although she didn’t believe them, Peon was so flustered and at a loss that if she had heard those words just before dying, she might have believed them immediately.

It was fascinating to see that even this person could be flustered. So Kaella laughed softly. She laughed because it was surprising to see the man who always looked down at her coldly now fumbling because of her.

She laughed very slightly. It was a fleeting smile that would disappear quickly. But Peon looked at her with wide eyes. Did he think she was mocking him?

“Ah, I’m sorry…”

Before she could finish speaking, Peon reached out to her. His hand, which had put down the brush, trembled as it gently touched Kaella’s cheek. Her body tensed up instinctively, but Kaella didn’t avoid it. They were already too close to avoid it.

“…Can’t you smile a little more?”

His voice was sorrowful as he carefully caressed Kaella’s lips, trembling as if afraid he might hurt her if he made a mistake.

“I’ll try harder and make more effort than today, no, even more than today. So, can’t you smile a little more comfortably… Can’t you?”

Why was he asking so carefully? He asked painfully, as if he knew that Kaella had already lost her smile. As if he was desperately clinging to her.

Those who have never had something notice changes more keenly. That’s how Kaella was. She didn’t know what had changed, but somehow she had the upper hand now.

The mean and selfish heart from the past stirred again. Right now, Peon, the husband who had abandoned her, was desperately wanting her to smile.

She smiled slightly again.

“If Your Highness makes an effort, of course I should make an effort too.”

And as Kaella answered like that, her eyes widened as she felt a gentle kiss, yet one stained with unbearable desire, affection, and deprivation.

Whether that answer was sincere or not didn’t matter to Peon. Even a perfunctory smile roughly drawn was good enough.

Even if it was a businesslike answer, that alone was enough for him. Just a casual nod from Kaella was enough for him to be ready to obey, rejoice, and be filled with ecstasy.

So Peon was overjoyed. He was so overwhelmed and lost his mind at her small smile that he kissed that smile. The moment Kaella smiled again, everything was over.

‘Ah…?’

Even the curious question in Kaella’s mind was completely vaporized.

The kiss from the man who claimed to know only his own and his wife’s waist measurements was not so skillful.

Instead of technique, raw emotion was revealed. It was a kiss that tried to suppress the urge to move roughly and intensely, struggling to move just gently, and then momentarily losing self-control again.

But it was clearly much better than last time. The man who had taught himself, and at an incredibly fast pace, held her stably and securely.

Kaella grabbed his arms and pulled him closer. Immediately, Peon began to delve deeper. It was overwhelming. He wanted her that much. He wanted Kaella, not Beatrice. That alone was enough for Kaella.

“…You, Kaella.”

Beatrice? …Ah, it’s you.

He was recognizing Kaella clearly right now. It wasn’t eyes blurred by heat and confusion, unable to distinguish who was who, but clear eyes that only contained her.

She had long wished to be the only one filling these eyes. She wished for it so much that even wishing became too hard and she gave up along with death, but death had not come yet. Not yet.

“Just a little more…”

His trembling lips sought permission.

“…Is that okay?”

To the one asking for just a little more here, not even much more, Kaella smiled again.

It’s strange and fun, so she keeps wanting to smile. It was so fascinating and enjoyable to see him become entranced, losing himself at her smile. Ah, is this why Beatrice tried so hard to captivate men?

There were many men who told Kaella her smile was pretty, but it was the first time she felt so amazed and wanted to keep smiling like this.

“Don’t ask such questions from now on, Your Highness.”

If she could do what she wanted before death called, she should try it. Because there is no future, she will enjoy each moment without missing it, burning intensely. Why should she forcibly hold back something so fun and exciting?

What she wanted so badly that she even stole for a moment, she could now fully possess. Even the ugly and stupid Kaella could have it. She still wanted the man who was so stupid that he killed both her father and her.

“Will you allow it next time too?”

“For the next time, do you dislike it? Is one night enough for you?”

When she asked with a hint of laughter in her voice, Peon hastily shook his head.

“It’s not enough.”

There was no way that deficiency and emptiness could be filled in just one night. His eyes, which had barely met the only being that could fill him, turned red.

“It’s insufficient.”

Kaella’s uncharacteristically bold provocation didn’t even qualify as a provocation, but it had a tremendous effect on Peon at least. She completely sank into his arms and fell onto the bed.

“To end everything in one night, what I have is too big and.”

The deficiency, desire, lingering attachment, and even the sin that couldn’t be called love were unbearably intense.

“You are very fragile, aren’t you?”

Kaella stretched out her arms and wrapped them around the neck of the man who could not turn his gaze, body, and entire heart away from her. The moment her slender arms draped over his shoulders, Peon took a deep breath. His taut muscles tensed up.

Hyperion Sibrand Feraro was nervous. Kaella wanted to smile even more broadly. He was nervous because of her. Everything was unbelievably kind to Kaella. It was a world worth dying in.

“I’m fine.”

She whispered lowly.

“It’s okay even if it hurts more.”

She had already experienced it. Peon said he didn’t know women, but she knew men. More precisely, she had already experienced her husband. It was the one night she had secretly stolen because she wanted it so badly, and it was the first sin Kaella had ever committed.

“Kaella.”

She suddenly startled at the even lower voice.

“If you’re scared, tell me to stop.”

“What?”

“If it hurts, slap my cheek.”

Peon brought her hand to his cheek.

“You shouldn’t hurt anymore.”

Then he buried his hot lips in the palm of her small hand.

“I’ll make sure it doesn’t hurt.”

Noble young ladies were taught that the first night is always very painful. They were taught that pain is natural, so enduring it is a woman’s destiny.

If it doesn’t hurt, then it must mean the husband is very skilled with women. Kaella, who had already been married for 4 years, believed those words came from experience.

“I’ll endure until it doesn’t hurt, Kaella.”

He looked at her as if worshipping her. Worship? It must be a misunderstanding. Kaella mocked herself.

But what’s wrong with indulging in such a misunderstanding? She happily looked back at him. How happy it is to be able to have even such a misunderstanding.

“Don’t struggle.”

His voice and eyes, burning with desire, confessed unspoken words. Isn’t this love?

Even if it passes in a flash, for now, eyes and hands solely devoted to her firmly held her. Between lips that were always tightly closed except for necessary words, a moan escaped.

Dying in such a kind world would be so happy.