At the End of Ruin, There You Are - Chapter 49

The cold and desolate Lucenford had developed many heating devices.

Fireplaces were essential, and every household had five or six hot water bottles. Even men would knit warm and fluffy knitwear as a hobby when they had nothing else to do.

However, Kaella learned last night that human body heat was much warmer than those heating devices.

“I’ll stop here, so go to sleep now.”

Peon, who had been nibbling on her neck like a madman, suddenly smiled gently and stroked her eyes.

“Why…?”

“When you’re healthier, then.”

His mumbling voice was extremely languid and seductive.

At the same time, the heaving of his chest as he pressed his forehead against her narrow shoulders was threatening, as if he was holding back. His feverish eyes and the veins protruding on his neck proved that he wasn’t as composed as he seemed.

“Then we’ll do a little more.”

Perhaps because he had been in a deep relationship with Beatrice for a long time, he handled her quite skillfully.

‘Much more than then… no, that was years from now, how could that be possible?’

Kaella recalled a certain night, then closed her eyes, intoxicated by the sleep induced by his caressing hand.

And when she greeted the morning filled with warmth from head to toe, she finally realized that Peon had promised once more for a future day. It wasn’t just for one night.

“Did you sleep well?”

He had stayed with her until morning, holding her tight. As if he had no intention of pretending last night didn’t happen, he kissed her forehead and cheeks before getting up.

Kaella was too surprised to answer, knowing that Peon would have a lot to do, like training his body and inspecting the army from dawn, yet he stayed with her until this hour.

Getting up from the bed she shared with him was something even she, who had been through many extraordinary things, had never experienced before.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

Peon smiled softly and lowered his body again to kiss her eyes. As she blinked several times, his huge and solid body that held her tightly shook slightly with laughter. As if they had been one body, he shared the same body temperature as her.

“You’re… you’re busy…”

“Ah, it’s morning, so it’s time to be polite again. I’m not busy, Bi.”

Kiss, kiss, the kisses showered on her cheeks and shoulders didn’t stop. Who said he was indifferent and had almost no emotions?

Kaella had to wonder if Peon, who kept smiling at her, might be drunk. She had only seen him smile this much when he was drunk once.

“How do you feel? Are you not tired?”

Kaella shook her head, not knowing what to say. It was because she didn’t know men, and it was frustrating that she couldn’t answer sophisticatedly at times like this, but it couldn’t be helped. What could she do about her lack of experience?

“I see. Then that’s fine. Let’s have breakfast together here.”

“What?”

He’s going to have a meal before leaving? When she asked in surprise, Peon’s eyes instantly crumbled into a gloomy expression.

“Don’t you want to?”

It was the first time she had seen the man who was scary, inscrutable, and yet so captivating that she couldn’t take her eyes off him, looking dejected.

Kaella, who was seeing many new things today, broke out in a cold sweat from the morning at the sight of Peon, who could only be described as ‘dejected’.

“Was yesterday the last time you’ll have a meal with me?”

“No, that’s not it, Your Highness…”

“I know that you changed your way of speaking to be more dutiful to your role after marriage, given your conscientious personality, but isn’t having meals together natural for a married couple?”

The husband she met after death seemed to be upset even by the way of speaking that Kaella had gotten used to using for the past 4 years.

It was quite ironic that Peon was upset about the way of speaking that had stuck to her mouth because of him, who didn’t treat her as a duchess or a wife, when she hadn’t wanted to use it either.

“Isn’t it natural?”

Kaella was about to speak in response to his urging question, but ended up nodding. His gaze was too affectionate to meet. It was too awkward and strange. The Peon she knew never acted like this. No, he only did when they were young.

Could it be someone else? Then is this reality a different world? Could that be possible?

“Alright. Get up slowly.”

A clear laughing sound shattered by her ear, and finally, reluctant to part, another kiss, smack, stuck to her cheek.

Peon eventually couldn’t resist and cupped her small face to kiss her, seeing Kaella who couldn’t distinguish whether this was a dream or reality and was just clutching the blanket tightly.

Even under the morning sun that cooled the head wandering in a hazy dream and revealed the cold reality that had seemed like a beautiful illusion, he simply couldn’t come to his senses.

No, it’s because Kaella revealed by the morning sun was too pretty. She was the most beautiful and cute living being he knew.

Now he wanted to say it without holding back.

“You look even prettier in the morning, my Bi.”

He said happily, even though her face must have been all puffy and ugly. In fact, it was Peon who remained refreshingly handsome even in the morning.

“You’re pretty.”

Peon said once more. The more he said it, the clearer it became that he had been holding back these words for a long time.

He should have looked directly at Kaella instead of averting his gaze. He should have stolen more glances, even if it was regrettable, he should have stolen more. Instead of avoiding her words, he should have at least listened to her speaking voice. And he should have spoken more too.

The emotions he forcibly blocked, turned away from, and buried, he thought had died and been buried as they were. But the more he took her in with his eyes, spoke, and faced her, the emotions mocked him and raised their enormous body that had been hidden.

It was not a size he could handle. It was too big, even the act of burying it was a sin. It was irresponsible and base to turn away without being able to make it completely disappear. Perhaps he is still turning away from the truth even now.

“Eat a lot.”

In front of the breakfast table that had been brought to the bedside, he begged and begged again. The warmth he was embracing for the first time in decades was too warm to face the truth. So he begged. Not yet, just a little more. Just a little more. Please, just a little more.

For Peon, whose only physical contact with the opposite sex had been the kiss Beatrice had recklessly planted on him like stamping a seal, it was an ordeal to resist the urge to touch Kaella more last night.

He was very clumsy, and all he knew about marital duties came from the soldiers’ lewd talk in the army.

Anyway, he knew that women were in a lot of pain. Peon looked anew at how small Kaella was, sitting beside him.

“Your Highness, please eat too.”

“Yes.”

Her shoulders were too narrow, and if he hugged her like this, she would fit in his arms with room to spare. So he had to hold back and become more skilled.

“Does it suit your taste?”

She nodded when he asked. She answered his question. Maybe this could be a new opportunity.

Maybe this time they could be happy. No, it doesn’t have to be happiness or opportunity. Even if it’s just for a moment, really just a little, just once, he wanted to do for her what he couldn’t before.

“What will you do today?”

“I have to work.”

“Don’t overdo it. It’s only to keep you from getting bored.”

Kaella was weak. She was weak enough to die from his coldness and indifference. There were reasons for the indifference. Because he couldn’t betray Beatrice and his mother, because there was a high possibility that Kaella was the emperor’s spy.

Thinking about it now, those reasons that can only be called foolish and pathetic were justified when evidence came out that Kaella was the emperor’s spy. The wall built up over 4 years shone then.

“Yes.”

“Entertain guests moderately. What we need to pay attention to is the inspector, not Lady Lavalle. Don’t even pay attention to her.”

So even a little. If he could do even a little of what he should have done for her, even now, he could give his life. He didn’t mind being criticized for satisfying himself alone.

“Pardon?”

“Yes.”

Although he got an answer, Peon had no intention of being reassured. He believed that Kaella would do well on her own. What he couldn’t trust was Beatrice Lavalle.

Before the regression, no matter how much that indifferent Peon tried to ignore it, there were always petty disputes involving Kaella. Those things piled up and exploded big, but how many things must have happened in places he didn’t see?

He added red marks to Kaella’s nape and shoulders exposed in the sunlight, to her fair skin tinged with red.

“Y-Your Highness?”

“Yes.”

“It’s, it’s morning…!”

Kaella, her face bright red, clutched his clothes tightly. She just held on, unable to push him away.

“Yes. The fair Bi is more clearly visible in the morning.”

“Ah, in the morning, you shouldn’t, shouldn’t do this…”

“Do married couples have to set a specific time to love each other? I’ve never heard of such a law.”

Kaella closed her eyes tightly and hunched her shoulders. It was cute how she, who had been dazed from just waking up, suddenly turned her neck, cheeks, and ears red and didn’t know what to do.

“Though my modest Bi might be shy of the morning sun…”

Whenever Peon acted like this, Kaella felt like she hadn’t gone back to the past, but had fallen into a completely different world.

Peon couldn’t possibly be like this. There was no way the cold and indifferent Duke of Lucenford would hold her waist and kiss the nape of her neck in broad daylight.

The arm around her waist was loosely relaxed, but it was so heavy that it easily trapped her in his embrace. The lips touching her were ticklish and hot, making Kaella shake her head and hunch her shoulders.

“Even the day can become as secretive as we want.”

In the end, Kaella covered her face with both hands and lowered her head. Peon, holding her, laughed out loud.

He laughed refreshingly, and Kaella thought his laughter sounded nice even as her face was burning. So when he suddenly stopped laughing, she peeked curiously through her fingers.

Why did he suddenly stop laughing?

Peon was wearing a blank expression as if he had realized something.

“…Thanks to you, I… I’m laughing for the first time in a very long time.”

The way his muscles moved when he laughed out loud felt awkward, as it had been so long. He, who had only managed formal smiles for years, blankly stared at her and then laughed again.

“It’s all thanks to you.”

“But I haven’t done anything…”

There really was nothing.

Rather, even though she thought she wouldn’t cling to Lucenford and Peon, she couldn’t turn away cleanly as if cut with a knife. She thought she was lingering here for quite a long time, like before she died, shedding lingering attachments and wallowing in self-pity.

“It’s enough even if you don’t do anything.”

He did do things he hadn’t done before, but Peon acting like this to a woman who had stubbornly run away saying she didn’t want to marry was even stranger.

He stroked her shoulder exposed through the nightgown, then gently pulled up her collar.

“If you’re embarrassed, wear clothes that cover this area today. Please don’t get angry that I’ve made a lot of them.”

“What?”

Kaella tilted her head, not understanding what he meant. So Peon took her hand and rubbed the soft skin inside her wrist.

“If you suck on the skin like this.”

As he had done all night, strongly and deeply.

“It leaves marks like this. Your skin is delicate, so it leaves darker marks. I’ll keep that in mind from now on.”

A few seconds later, when Kaella understood the situation and hastily pulled up her collar, Peon laughed happily again.

“I’ll, I’ll cover it all!”

“Yes. Covering your neck is good for keeping warm.”

How sly! Kaella puffed and covered her neck with her hands. As she was doing this with both hands, Peon cut the egg dish and fed it to Kaella’s mouth instead.

I can eat by myself! But I don’t want to put my hands down! Kaella glared at the omelette but eventually parted her lips slightly to eat it. When else would she get to eat food fed by Peon if not now.

“…I have no intention of interfering with your clothing choices, but I’m saying this just in case. Please don’t forget the ring I gave you.”

“The ring?”

“Yes. You must always wear both of them. The second diamond is still being crafted, so please wait.”

“But…”

I knew it would be like this. Peon looked down at the hesitating Kaella.

“But, Your Highness. If Lady Lavalle sees the diamond, it will become gossip throughout Klein.”

A diamond is the most precious of luxury items.

If the greedy emperor learns through Beatrice that the Duchess of Lucenford is wearing a diamond ring of no ordinary size, he will nag at Peon again, whom he has always manipulated.

“That’s exactly why I want you to wear it without fail.”

“But if His Majesty finds out, won’t he ask where it came from?”

“As a man, can’t I give my wife a single piece of jewelry? He won’t say anything.”

“If you give me another one, it might become a problem then.”

“Up to three is fine, Bi.”

A heavy bracelet, a heavy necklace, something like that should be fine. After all, what the Duke of Lucenford does for his wife is also related to the face of the emperor who arranged this marriage.

But after that, even the emperor will start to suspect. He’ll wonder where Lucenford got the money to give his wife such large diamonds.

“His Majesty will be pleased too. And after that, I’ll wrap things up so you won’t have to worry.”

“We must give something to His Majesty too, Your Highness. Something, something better than what I have.”

That’s the only way to survive.

Kaella, who was earnestly speaking while holding onto Peon, suddenly thought.

Survive? Who? Didn’t I decide to die? Who needs to survive? Kaella de Chasseur, me?

…Or, this man?

“Yes.”

Peon hesitated for a moment before nodding.

“I’ll do that.”