At the End of Ruin, There You Are - Chapter 22

Losing everything tragically and dying once doesn’t mean all hope and dreams disappear.

Rather, human desires are so intense that in this life they’ve returned to, they are determined to accomplish everything. Everyone will think of regression as an opportunity.

Peon, who was a fatherless bastard and dirty mongrel from birth, naturally wished for more shamelessly.

The most basic and simple wish to live happily with the person you love.

This time, the desire to look straight at the person he loved, solve all the tragedies he already knew, and make her end not premature death but natural death, no matter how violent, raised its head through the cut-off place.

This is why innate blood is unavoidable.

Or maybe it’s because of the Emperor’s brainwashing. Anyway, he was born a dirty bastard and grew up to be a splendidly thick-skinned bastard.

The bastard ate the peach he had held out with a grin when Kaella stared at him without moving. The bastard-like smile was fresh and wonderful. So much that his heart tightened, forgetting even the fate of death.

“You, elder brother?”

Kaella, who had torn down all the walls and manners she had built up high, opened her eyes wide, showing how upset she was. Her delicate eyes were still wet.

Peon couldn’t take his eyes off her. He could finally look at her as much as he wanted, and it opened up his airways.

At the same time, he thought he would never be able to look away again. Even before dying, he had practiced forcibly separating himself, but now even that was impossible.

“Me?”

The pink lips with a bit of cream on them below the straight nose moved slightly.

“Why?”

“Because I’m a bastard?”

Peon answered casually.

“That can’t be.”

The most absolute being in his world declared. It can’t be, she said. She pierced him straight with her clear eyes.

“Why?”

The man, too noble and upright to volunteer to be a bastard, asked back with a slight smile.

“Well… because it can’t be?”

Kaella tilted her head and then chose not to look at that smile. She just stirred the bowl that was now full of peaches with a wooden spoon.

“I know what your dream is.”

It’s to live happily with Beatrice and the Empress. She knew well. No one could stop Peon rushing towards that dream.

Because he couldn’t be stopped or broken, he shattered as he was. He probably shattered. Kaella, who had been confined, knew nothing after Beatrice gave her the poison.

“You know?”

“Yes.”

Kaella, not looking at him, ate the finely cut peaches. Peon took in her round head, plump forehead, and thick eyebrows and eyelashes below, one by one.

Kaella felt like every part of her that his gaze touched was on fire.

Why is he staring like that? Before he died, he wouldn’t even give her a glance as if she were some kind of bug, but now he was staring so intently it was strange. Does he think she’s suspicious?

Ah. Could it be that he already thinks she’s the Emperor’s spy? That could be. Kaella, feeling suddenly deflated, put down her spoon. Her appetite had disappeared again.

“It’s to live happily with sister Beatrice… and Her Majesty the Empress, right? I know. I hope it comes true.”

So please, just don’t let her die painfully. Instead of confining her, just kill her on the spot.

There was nothing more terribly disgusting than death that came slowly. Her frail hand gripping the bowl turned white.

“I hope for that too. I have no intention of interfering with it.”

She earnestly begged to be killed well in front of the predator. Peon, who had been staring at her blankly, answered a little late.

“That’s not my dream, Kaella.”

Kaella finally raised her head and looked at Peon. He grinned when their eyes met.

“Then what is it?”

What’s your dream? From the moment she goes to Lucenford, as long as the master of Lucenford holds her life, Kaella needed to know. She needed to know for a peaceful and easy death.

“Shouldn’t you ask what I did when Beatrice came, rather than asking that?”

“You must have handled it.”

“Ah, right. I said ‘I’m not interested.'”

I wasn’t interested. Or I deliberately didn’t take interest.

Because it always ended with only Kaella being upset and hurt no matter how curious she was. Or maybe she now knew well that she didn’t even have the right to be curious. Well, even if she knew, could she even understand?

What Kaella was curious about, if anything, was why Peon didn’t rebuke her for fighting with Beatrice.

She had braced herself, expecting him to say something as soon as he saw her face, but he just calmly peeled peaches without saying anything unpleasant.

He wasn’t originally like this. He was so indifferent that he just did his own thing no matter what Kaella did.

She slightly raised her head again. Peon, his black hair slightly disheveled, was looking down at his hands sticky with sweet juice, then their eyes met.

By now, the bowl was full of finely cut peaches, and the plate was also full of large peach slices. A sweet scent filled the air between them.

“Should I cut more?”

“Aren’t you busy?”

“You’re changing the subject.”

He chuckled and picked up another luscious peach and started cutting it. His large hands with nicely protruding tendons handled the fruit knife skillfully as well. Maybe he’s good with small knives because he originally used swords.

Peon was much more relaxed than she knew. It was surprising to see how leisurely and happy he looked, as if this person could be like this. Just like when Beatrice came before Kaella died. Or even more so.

‘There’s no way he could enjoy being with me.’

Kaella looked at Peiron as if he were a strange person. He was always too busy to have any time to idle with Kaella. There was no reason for him to make time for her.

The hands that should be handling documents or picking up a sword were now holding a soft peach, skillfully cutting it, and bringing it to his mouth with the knife.

His slightly plump lips parted in an arc. As the peach disappeared between his clean, strong teeth, Kaella suddenly realized that his purple eyes were staring intently at her.

Belatedly, her small shoulders flinched, trembling finely like a bird.

“Is it delicious?”

Peiron gestured with his chin towards the bowl Kaella was clutching tightly. The blueberries and strawberries were barely visible under the cream and peaches piled on top.

“No.”

Now that it was all covered in cream, she had lost her appetite. No, maybe her appetite had just disappeared altogether. Clearly, when she came here, she was confident she could finish a whole bowl, but now…

“You’ve hardly eaten anything. Is the cream not good?”

How did he know?

“Yes.”

“Then let’s just eat the fruit. Just eat this one.”

He held out another piece of cut peach. The question of why this person was acting like this was momentary. Kaella remembered again that this was the area behind the Empress’s palace where they used to play as children.

Here, the little ones would pack baskets for picnics, eating various things, spreading out blankets to read books or play games. Most of the time it was Beatrice and Peiron playing by themselves with Kaella tagging along.

Anyway, it was a place filled with memories. It was Peiron who always held the young Kaella’s hand when she followed them, waited for her, and offered her jelly and pudding to eat more.

He must be thinking of those times. It was now a faded past that felt too distant to her. The days when she liked the brother who would bring her milk cups and give her an extra strawberry.

Kaella ate the peach he offered, recalling those times she would forget completely about Peiron once she got married. His firm, juice-soaked fingers touched her lips briefly as she ate the soft flesh.

‘Is this why I was brought back to life?’

To enjoy it for a moment. Because it was too pitiful, did God bring her back so she could receive even a little meaningless kindness?

Kaella chewed the peach and let the futile thoughts drift away. Peiron wouldn’t attach any meaning to this anyway. She raised her eyes.

He clearly brought the fingers that had touched her lips to his own fine mouth. The tip of his tongue came out to lick the sticky fingers.

His beautiful purple eyes were looking at her. Those eyes were consistent, just as they had been in Lucenford. An unreadable, cold gaze.

“Is it delicious?”

He asked kindly, like when they were young, but she couldn’t tell how the peach tasted. Kaella lowered her head, avoiding his gaze first. Only she was at a loss in front of those cold eyes. Pathetically.

“I have something to give you. Just a moment.”

The sound of hands being washed in water was heard. Kaella kept her gaze fixed on the hem of her dress, silently chewing and swallowing the peach. She could feel Peiron unfolding a handkerchief in front of her and wiping his hands that he had washed in water.

“I’m not sure if you’ll like it.”

He took something out of his inner pocket. It was a small box.

What could it be? Kaella quietly watched the box open with eyes now clear of tears.

Silence settled between the two for a moment. Peiron, who had been carefully observing the blankly staring Kaella, finally broke the silence and asked.

“You don’t like it?”

“No, it’s pretty, but why?”

It was a simple and classic ring with a round-cut diamond set high, and small purple amethysts attached on both sides. The diamond was quite large, so she thought it must be quite valuable.

“It’s pretty.”

Peiron nodded calmly and removed the fruit bowl from Kaella’s hands, which were still just staring.

“It’s yours.”

“What?”

“I said I had something to give you. It’s yours.”

He took her left hand, which had turned white from gripping the bowl so tightly it seemed about to break, and put the ring on himself. It was obvious she wouldn’t pick it up if he just held it out.

“It’s mine?”

Peiron grinned at Kaella’s round eyes that kept confirming.

“It’s yours. …It’s said to be mother’s ring. I received it from His Majesty the Emperor.”

The taste in his mouth turned bitter as he spoke honestly. He didn’t want to give Kaella some ring that the Emperor had carelessly picked out and thrown at him. His mother probably felt the same way.

“I’ll give you the one I prepared separately later.”

“No, no. This is more than enough. It’s so pretty.”

Kaella, who had been blinking and examining the ring, looked at him awkwardly.

“…But it seems too much for me.”

It was a much more valuable ring than the one she had received before she died. Moreover, if it was Her Majesty the Empress’s ring, wouldn’t it be a very precious item to Peiron as well?

She would have been fine even if it was an ordinary ring without any gems. No, to be precise, she ‘didn’t care.’ What meaning did a ring have when she was about to die soon? Rather, it was too burdensome.

“You should keep this. I’m fine.”

Peiron looked at her with an incredulous expression as she quickly tried to take off the ring. Kaella felt her heart tighten.

Had she made another mistake? Had she upset him again?

But she had spoken very carefully, and had first acknowledged her place by saying it was too much for her. As she was gently removing the ring to quickly return it, afraid of scratching it, Peiron grabbed both her hands to stop her.

“I understand that you don’t want to marry me.”

His low voice cracked like an animal’s.

“But we can’t cancel the marriage, Kaella.”

His cold eyes were looking straight at her, not leaving her. His purple eyes wavered. Well, it must be hard for Peiron too, since he’s not the only one having an unwanted marriage, just like Kaella.

“I’m sorry, but you have to marry me. No, don’t avoid my eyes, look at me straight.”

Kaella glanced around at the empty surroundings, worried someone might see, or feeling as if she might be devoured by Peiron’s intense gaze, but Peiron pulled on her captured hand and spoke firmly.

Only when her blue eyes turned to him again did he slightly loosen his grip on her hand.

Even so, it wasn’t enough for Kaella to pull her hand away. In fact, she had no intention of pulling away. When would she ever have her hand held by him again? She should do what she can before dying.

“This ring is yours until you die. No one will take it away, and even if they try, you mustn’t give it. Not even to me. Do you understand?”

Kaella, who was subtly stubborn, just stared at him blankly with her shoulders hunched. Her silent gaze was full of denial. It meant she wouldn’t listen after all.

A sigh escaped, but Peiron had no confidence in winning against Kaella, nor did he want to. What did it matter if she didn’t listen? If Kaella quietly gave the ring to someone, he could just get it back.

“Don’t take it off.”

Peiron said, as if making a promise, while forcefully putting the ring back on as it had already slipped past one knuckle. Their touching hands were slightly cool without a trace of moisture.

Kaella suddenly became curious. There was an artificially created waterside nearby, but it was a bit of a walk away. Peiron hadn’t brought a separate water bowl, so where did he get clean water to wash his hands?

“Kaella.”

How did he know she was thinking of something else? Peiron pulled her closer once more. He somehow looked very urgent.

Kaella ended up laughing. She laughed brightly, her eyes curving. It was such a radiant smile that it could mesmerize anyone looking at her.

“Yes. I understand.”

From the moment she arrived here, Peiron had been toying with her. Rather than being angry, she found it strange.

It was curious to see that man behaving this way because her status as the Princess of Ostein was still alive. The attention he gave, even if just like this, was sweeter than the peach, and ultimately bitter.

No matter how she thought about it, Kaella was truly a hopeless, crazy girl. With just one such word, one smile she hadn’t seen in so long, her heart reacted before her head.

She was starved not only for food but also for affection.

It was laughable how she quickly calculated that it wouldn’t be bad to enjoy it for a moment since she was going to die anyway. It was laughable how pitiful it was that even hearing such words counted as a ‘joyful thing’.

“I will.”

The cold gaze never left Kaella as she kept laughing emptily.