When she opened her eyes, it was as expected. Peon, with a blackened face, was silently keeping watch by her bedside and was the first to notice that Kaella had regained consciousness.

With a slightly distorted expression, he silently looked at Kaella and then just called for the doctor right away. Denise woke up Darinka, who was taking a nap, and brought her.

“Fortunately, it didn’t take a week.”

Peon, who had given up his seat to Darinka, quietly watched Kaella from a few steps away. He would forcibly tear his gaze away as if it was painful to look at her sometimes, but eventually, his eyes would return to Kaella.

“You’ve already caught a cold, so you need to be careful. You know you can’t let it turn into pneumonia here, right?”

For someone as weak as Kaella, a cold was that frightening. It was common to hear stories of people who had only a slight cough passing away a few months later, so it wasn’t an exaggeration for the maids, and even Peon, to be so protective of her.

“But if you just bundle up carelessly, you could get sick in this hot summer. The important thing is to eat well and rest thoroughly, that’s what I’m saying.”

Kaella didn’t even have the strength to nod. Her whole body felt languid and weak. Having a weak body was always a big constraint.

Why am I like this, she would think, envying Beatrice who fluttered about at balls. Such small envies eventually turned into a large inferiority complex.

Even now, she wheezed while half-listening to what Darinka was saying and dozed off again. After falling into the water, her whole body felt exhausted. When she came to her senses again, everyone including the maids had withdrawn, and only Peon remained standing at the end of the bed.

Why is he standing so far away?

“…Even if you’re sleepy, you should eat something before sleeping.”

Kaella nodded a couple of times. I know. Peon looked like he wanted to say something more but remained silent. As she stared at him, she thought it was still fortunate.

In the past, she would have been asleep for nearly a month, but waking up after three days was a huge reduction. From what Darinka said, it seemed they had expected a week, but three days? That’s tremendous progress.

Thinking that, she must have dozed off again. When she opened her eyes, a thin soup with rising steam had been set before her. She naturally assumed Peon would feed her, but he was just watching. When their eyes met, he moved even further away.

“Eat. I have an urgent matter to attend to.”

He spoke briefly and then left. Kaella blinked. He must be busy. Well, he’s too occupied with public and private affairs to tend to a sick wife. Mari, with eyes swollen from crying so much, fed her the soup whose taste she couldn’t even discern.

“I don’t want to eat anymore.”

Kaella shook her head while eating. Her mouth felt rough, making it difficult to eat.

“How much have you eaten? You need to finish this whole bowl.”

“It’s hard. I’ll eat later.”

Her voice must have sounded too exhausted because Mari couldn’t even insist further.

“You must finish it all later, okay?”

“Mm-hmm. Thank you.”

“It’s nothing, Your Highness.”

Kaella closed her eyes. Despite having eaten just a few spoonfuls, her stomach belatedly felt hunger and churned. But somehow, she didn’t want to eat. Eating was too difficult a task.

*

“Kaella.”

A voice full of sighs woke her up. She wasn’t so hungry that her eyelids felt too heavy. The low voice never rushed or scolded her. It just slowly called her name until she woke up.

“Kaella. Wake up.”

Upon hearing the report that she had only eaten five bites before refusing to eat more, Peon had no choice but to come back. He had left to allow her to eat comfortably, thinking she might not want to see the husband who had forcibly kept her alive, but she hadn’t eaten.

Although he had said to leave her be, Peon was already the best at tending to Kaella’s meals in this household.

He had taken care of all three meals, personally feeding Kaella until she met the prescribed meal amount set by Darinka. He couldn’t bear not to do so.

So, despite his words to leave Kaella be as she pleased, even before Darinka could rush in to say this time was different, Peon hurried back to Kaella.

He had ordered three dishes to be prepared: a mushroom soup that Kaella liked, a potage made with boiled potatoes, butter, and cream mixed very smoothly, and a clear soup made by boiling chicken thoroughly.

Whether it needed to be thin food or not, it had to be delicious for her to eat, right?

“Let’s drink some water.”

He had to start by asking her to take just a sip of water, not coaxing her to eat something.

“Sit up for a moment.”

I shouldn’t touch her. I shouldn’t get too close. I should just speak. Despite countless self-admonitions, his hands were already shamelessly brushing Kaella’s hair back and caressing her face with the back of his hand.

Almost touching, but not quite, Peon’s hands trembled, and he clenched his fists and pulled his hands back.

“Kaella.”

Her face was tiny and completely white without a hint of color. It was a pale face that made him anxious every time he saw it. Then, without warning, blue eyes half-opened beneath long eyelashes.

Just seeing those eyes made Peon well aware that he became stupid. He had already been staring mindlessly at her face with closed eyes, but when she opened them, he truly became powerless.

“Drink some water.”

He wanted to save her. He desperately wanted to save her. He wanted to let Kaella experience all the brilliant parts of life she hadn’t tasted yet.

Kaella moved her eyes slightly and then accepted the water he carefully brought to her lips.

Just the act of drinking little by little completely unraveled the exhausted and sharp emotions that had been tortured for three days straight. She rightfully had the right to live, to enjoy.

“Want to drink more? Yeah. Let’s drink more.”

But Peon didn’t even know what the brilliant parts of life were. The most brilliant thing among all he had seen and experienced up to this age was this unfortunate woman.

He had only glimpsed this woman’s misfortune. Even that he considered brilliant. It was dazzling and beautiful. Because amidst the excruciating pain of breaking bones and tearing flesh, and the pouring violence, she was the only righteous value and evidence he had to protect.

“Does your throat hurt? No? Okay. Then, since you’ve had water, shall we eat a little of this too?”

So he could never give Kaella the brilliant day people talk about. Because the highest value he knew was just her, unfortunate and tragically dying young.

Knowing nothing, he clumsily imitated what others talked about, and with rough hands, he forcibly grasped her, delicate as a porcelain doll, trying to pull her into life, but the situation only worsened.

Among the worst situations, this was the worst of the worst.

“What do you have…?”

“Things you like. Want to see?”

He reached out his arm so Kaella could sit up, and she leaned on his arm to raise herself. The body in his arms was too light. Yes, this was all the sins he had committed.

No matter how hard he tried, Kaella only became more broken. There was no way living could be happy. If she was so unhappy and in pain, if she kept trying to die because it was too hard, shouldn’t he let her go?

“There’s mushroom, potato, and one with meat in it.”

As he opened the lids of the hot, heavy bowls one by one to show her, Kaella’s eyes widened a little. He wanted to feed her all sorts of delicious foods in the world.

The world is vast and changing rapidly, so if she ate one new thing each day, Kaella might be sixty by then. Then, wouldn’t she feel that living had been worthwhile? He thought to himself arbitrarily.

“You can eat it all.”

Kaella, who wanted to eat a lot but couldn’t eat well, might find even the process of consuming and digesting food to be arduous. So, shouldn’t he just let go of this terrible greed?

Anyway, every night Peon stands on the north tower, experiencing Kaella’s death over and over again. No matter how many times he experiences it, instead of getting used to it, it becomes more painful, hurtful, and shocking – but that’s his problem alone. It’s not Kaella’s concern.

“It all looks delicious.”

A small voice whispered. That single sentence made him so grateful and glad, but that joy was Peon’s circumstance alone.

“Shall we eat it all? Then let’s try eating it all.”

“I’m hungry.”

“If you’re hungry, why didn’t you eat earlier? Did you not want to?”

“It was rough and wouldn’t go down…”

“I see. This will go down well.”

She takes each spoonful well as he feeds her. If he can feed her a little, get her to take her medicine well, and she becomes healthy enough to make her own choices, wouldn’t it be okay to let her go then?

“Winter will come soon, Kaella.”

At Peon’s words, Kaella, who had been eating as he fed her, tilted her head. It’s still the height of summer.

“Winter comes early in Lucenford. Go to Austaine.”

He swallowed the words “I’ll take you there.” If he kept postponing with “just a little more, just a little more” and adding conditions, there would be no end to it. If he thought of it now, he should have said it out loud immediately. That way, there was at least less chance of withdrawing it.

“Is that okay?”

“After all this trouble, what wouldn’t be okay?”

If you’re in Austaine, won’t you live a little longer? Maybe you’ll be happy there for a while, and perhaps decide to live on.

Of course, since it’s a place beyond Peon’s reach, he might hear news of her death there. Just thinking about it made him want to hold onto her. Even knowing it wasn’t right, he wanted to hold her, prostrate himself and beg, plead.

Kaella nodded with a rare smile. Color seemed to bloom on her previously pale face. Eager, she ate steadily as he fed her.

“Is it tasty?”

He asked because she seemed to be swallowing it well, but unexpectedly, Kaella made a slightly sad face. Peon’s heart dropped just seeing her knit her eyebrows sorrowfully.

“I can’t tell what it tastes like.”

Her throat hurt, and her nose was stuffy. Watching Kaella shake her head slightly while breathing wheezily, he gave a bitter smile.

“But you ate well.”

“Yeah. Because I’m hungry.”

“Shall we try the potato potage? If you finish it, you can have some mashed peach too.”

Kaella pouted her lips.

“And I’ll have to take medicine too, right?”

“Do you dislike taking medicine that much?”

“Darinka makes the medicine too bitter.”

“If you can’t taste anything now, you won’t taste the bitterness of the medicine either.”

“Bitter taste is different. It lingers in the mouth until the end.”

Peon stopped midway through scooping the soup and laughed. Kaella’s eyes narrowed, her fever rising and leaving her without strength.

“You just thought I was being childish, didn’t you?”

“Not at all.”

“Then why are you laughing?”

“Because you’re pretty. Because you’re pretty, let’s have just one more bite of this.”

She glared at him but still ate what he fed her.

“How about this? Can you taste it?”

“It’s similar. But I don’t like thin things.”

“I know. If talking is difficult, you don’t have to say more.”

“You kept talking to me.”

What should I do? She’s too pretty. She’s so pretty and cute that I wanted to kiss her cheek. The way she looked up, seemingly wronged and annoyed, that expression was all lovable.

You shouldn’t touch a sick person. Above all, Kaella might be upset that he had taken away her chance to die again. Peon stopped talking and fed Kaella the potage, which was barely a quarter of a bowl.

“I want to read the newspaper.”

But it was Kaella who opened her mouth again. Who would listen if you speak with a dying voice?

“There weren’t any interesting articles.”

“I want to see even if it’s not interesting.”

“The biggest news story is you. Do you remember how you fell into the river?”

He had already thoroughly investigated, and found out even the parts that weren’t revealed by the investigation, but Kaella might have seen something others didn’t.

With that swollen throat, she kept trying to speak, so he might as well listen to her story about the accident. All Peon could do was to handle the aftermath so that Kaella wouldn’t feel wronged.

“The pier was too narrow, and when Her Highness the Princess came, everyone was trying to make space and getting pushed around.”

As Kaella’s words seemed to be getting longer, Peon quickly fed her another spoonful. She needed to rest while talking too.

“Then Lady Wickstead fell, and next to her, Duchess Beulah got pushed.”

Duchess Beulah was much older than Viscountess Wickstead.

“An elderly person shouldn’t fall in, so I tried to hold on, but got pushed, and so…”

And so she fell in. It was a very Kaella-like reason. Swallowing the words “Were you okay to fall in?”, Peon this time fed her chicken soup instead of potage. He was anxious, but fortunately, she ate it well without frowning.

“In the river, was there anything strange?”

He had seen with his own eyes the pitch-black malice grabbing at Kaella’s thin ankles.

It looked exactly like the curse that had climbed up him, to the point where it made him shudder. Until he regressed, Peon hadn’t noticed it at all, so Kaella, being an ordinary person, probably couldn’t have seen such a thing while drowning.

Kaella, her throat gradually improving from continuously swallowing warm liquid, stared at him intently. The blue eyes that always avoided his gaze so desperately now looked directly at him.

“I was scared.”

After a moment of contemplation, those eyes tossed out just those words before averting their gaze again. Whether recalling the fear of that moment, the blue eyes sank.

“I couldn’t go up. Something kept pulling me down, as if it was constantly dragging me…”

“…You were scared.”

At his words confirming once again, Kaella immediately nodded.

“Yes.”

Peon’s stiff purple eyes darkened.

“Do you remember me coming?”