Someone with no expectations is not curious about anything. Because when you’re only waiting for death, nothing else has any meaning. That’s why Kaella rarely asked questions or confronted him after she regressed.

Unless she was so angry that she lost her reason, or so happy and comfortable that she spoke unconsciously, her mouth remained tightly shut like a clam forever.

Moreover, on the rare occasion when she did ask something without realizing it, Kaella seemed to regret the very fact that she had asked, and refrained from speaking for a while longer.

If only she would say something, just one word. Peon always waited desperately for her to speak, to ask, to be curious, to interfere. He was trying his hardest to find any sign of a will to live in Kaella.

“Are you not satisfied with my methods?”

He asked after seating Kaella comfortably and preparing the meal he kept more strictly than guarding his own life.

Usually, he always waited until she spoke, but sometimes, while waiting, the questions she had been mumbling would often end up being swallowed and not come out. So if it seemed like she had been holding it in for too long, he had to ask.

“If you’re not satisfied, I’ll change it.”

“No.”

She shook her head.

“I don’t have the right to interfere with that…”

“Yes, you do.”

It was like a thirsty person digging a well. The being that could hardly be called human anymore pretended to be human and catered to his wife’s feelings. Kaella briefly looked around.

“There are no eavesdropping ears.”

Even though Peon knew exactly what she was thinking just by seeing the trajectory of her gaze, he said this while completely blocking off their surroundings.

If he clearly showed that they were alone, Kaella would speak more comfortably. At the same time, the fact that he only realized this now consistently tore him apart, trampled him, and mocked him.

He could tell just by looking at her eyes. Just by watching what she looked at, by the slight movements of her lips and subtle expressions, he knew. Why couldn’t he have known such an easy thing before he regressed?

Back then, Kaella had observed his every move and prepared everything he needed. Although they say regret is always too late, he foolishly and painfully dwelled on the many times he could have done enough for her, turning them over in his mind again and again.

“…Is everything already decided?”

And he was so grateful for these rare questions that Kaella sometimes asked that he didn’t know what to do with himself.

“What do you mean by decided?”

He asked while making her eat the sautéed vegetables and finely ground onion soup first.

The blue eyes that were wildly shaking in front of the food barely regained their focus as they looked at him. The whole scene was bitter. He was also a kind of control device preventing her from frantically shoveling food into her mouth.

“What you’re doing now. Is it all decided until the end?”

“There is no end, Kaella.”

Peon smiled gently as he confirmed that she was carefully sipping the soup.

These days, it seemed that her compulsive self-restraint had improved, as she was eating a little more. Peon himself was obsessively checking the amount of food Kaella ate.

“Nothing is decided.”

He had thoroughly checked how many spoonfuls of soup she drank, and how much was on each spoon, all without Kaella knowing.

“So if there’s anything you want to do, tell me. I’ll do it that way.”

“You’re taking revenge, aren’t you?”

Kaella tilted her head as if puzzled. Would she cry if I bit those cheeks? No, I shouldn’t disturb her while she’s eating mindfully. Above all else, I had to make mealtimes the most comfortable and enjoyable for her.

“…Am I wrong?”

Kaella, who had always been scolded for being wrong, cautiously added words belatedly. It’s pitiful, but it’s so cute that I feel like I’m going to lose my mind. Peon briefly squeezed his eyes shut, then opened them and pushed only the meat dishes in front of Kaella.

“No, everything you think is correct. Not a single thing is wrong.”

Is it? Even so, Kaella scrutinized him two or three more times. It was a habit to check whether he was really saying it was correct, or if he was just teasing her by saying it was correct.

Peon nodded seriously several times until the eyes full of all sorts of suspicion and wariness finally accepted it.

“It’s true. No one knows me better than you right now. Father must have been desperate to kidnap you and send you to me.”

Come to think of it, he had been acting unlike himself ever since then. Even as a child, he had been taciturn, but now he was explaining things in such detail, which was one of the changed aspects.

“I’m sorry for kidnapping you. For everything that happened then…, I’m sorry for all of it.”

Kaella shook her head and then ate a little more soup.

“Try this too. It tastes better if you eat it before it gets cold.”

“What about Your Highness?”

“I need to eat too.”

In fact, Peon no longer needed to consume food at all, but Kaella felt a little more comfortable with him eating together rather than just watching over her and serving her meals.

Surprisingly, there were many gifts he would receive just by sitting together and pretending to eat.

Kaella eating even one more bite of food that he tasted first and recommended as delicious, the casual words she spoke, all of these were precious gifts beyond his worth to him.

“Why did you choose that method?”

This gift is too much. Peon tried not to raise the corners of his mouth at the question thrown out of nowhere in the middle of eating, cutting off everything before and after.

“You don’t have to tell me.”

On the other hand, Kaella seemed to regret asking unconsciously. Peon didn’t say ‘I will always answer your words.’

He knew well that it was more important to respond to everything she said over multiple times, rather than saying such words.

“I thought about it again because you didn’t like the idea of overthrowing everything at once. Looking back, your words were always right.”

That doesn’t seem to be the case. Kaella lowered her gaze. She had always rushed in without knowing anything, was always wrong as much as she rushed in, and hadn’t she shortened her life because of that?

“You were right this time too.”

But the strongest voice she knew mercilessly pierced through her thoughts.

“My parents suffered for thirty years, and with you in addition to me, ending it all at once would be too generous.”

Kaella unconsciously thought that was correct. It was too generous.

“Her Majesty the Empress must have been in great pain.”

“She was. Not just Mother, but Father couldn’t do anything all along, worried that his son, who couldn’t even communicate with Mother, might die or get hurt…”

He was lost in thought for a moment.

“He trembled before mere highway robbers.”

The noble dragon did so.

“It’s my fault. If I had grown up properly according to my bloodline and could at least communicate, I wouldn’t have made them suffer so much.”

He should at least show a good eating appearance in front of Kaella so that she would eat more, but forget eating, even just sitting still is torturous.

The feeling of disgust towards his incompetent self grows stronger with each passing day.

Beatrice, the Emperor, and those he saw in Lüsenford covered up and rationalized the sins he had committed with various reasons such as ‘it had to be done’, ‘it was unavoidable’, ‘it was worth doing’, and so on.

It was truly amazing that they could get over it like that. Peon just couldn’t do it no matter what.

“You couldn’t communicate?”

Kaella carefully asked, tilting her head slightly as if wondering what was so difficult.

It was just like when she was young, asking if her elder brother had time to play with her, so Peon smiled a little but eventually couldn’t laugh. It was because he had ruined that young and innocent lady.

“Yes. I couldn’t communicate at all, so I didn’t even know who my father was, called him the evil dragon… and just went out attacking with the army…”

Peon felt his breath catch as he recalled the desperate image of his father, who had shown himself directly to his son many times and attempted to communicate.

His father was like that, and so was Kaella. Everyone tried desperately to have a proper conversation with him at least once, but he unilaterally refused to listen.

“Well, that was just like me.”

It was an inappropriate conversation, especially since the listener was Kaella. Answering her question by going on like this was no different from daring to complain about his circumstances in front of her.

Peon cut it off right there. His wounds are for him to bear, and Kaella’s wounds were created by him, so they are also for him to bear.

“Can you communicate now?”

Kaella, who had been discreetly observing, blurted out another question. Peon nodded and pretended to eat calmly.

“Everything?”

“Everything.”

“Can’t humans normally communicate with dragons?”

“They can.”

After answering, Peon felt not that he didn’t want to eat, but that he didn’t want to live. But he has to live. He must keep the order Kaella gave him to live and endure for the rest of his life.

“It’s like an innate talent. There are quite a few people who can understand dragon speech. Not everyone, but they do exist, though rarely. My mother was like that, the first Emperor was like that, and I think the current Emperor can understand what dragons say right away.”

The corners of Peon’s mouth twisted savagely.

“Of course, outside the borders of Crania, Father can use magic, so it’s fine to communicate through magic.”

Kaella’s eyes widened slightly at those words as she stared at him.

“Are you asking if I’ve ever crossed the border and communicated through magic?”

Not knowing how she knew, but accurately guessing exactly what she was thinking, Kaella nodded. Peon picked up her fork, stabbed a grilled mushroom and duck meat, dipped it in sauce, and handed it to her.

“Eat this first.”

Kaella reflexively took it and ate, then regretted it while chewing.

She should have taken the fork and eaten it herself. It was embarrassing to act like a child, but Peon stared at her eating for a moment before choosing the next food. He’s going to feed her this time too.

“Crossing the border during battle happened often. Father tried to communicate through magic, but I couldn’t understand. The Emperor had messed with me from when I was very young so that I couldn’t understand at all. Anyway, Father tried to lure me out somehow, and I was a fool who knew nothing, so I always fell for it.”

It was a taboo that was only broken after death, and only after death could he understand his father’s words. Only by sacrificing his life could he enjoy what he was originally born with.

“You always won though.”

“What parent would kill their child? A green human, just a teenage boy at that, charging at his long-lived father with an army.”

Peon chuckled.

“My reputation was created by Father. I didn’t do anything. The reason I never lost was because Father went easy on me. Even when I crossed the border, I couldn’t understand a word of what Father was saying.”

His expression was empty as he told his young wife this extremely shameful and embarrassing truth.

“I couldn’t do anything.”

His cynical voice was full of self-loathing. Yet he rolled up the Kerujian-style noodles and held out the fork again.

At that moment, Kaella realized that he had told her a secret he didn’t want to talk about in order to feed her even a little more.

“No.”

When she shook her head in front of the fork, Peon tried to coax her gently.

“Just one bite of this. Everyone says it’s delicious. Just taste it.”

“No, that’s not it, that’s not what I mean. Elder brother didn’t just fight the evil dragon, I mean, elder brother’s father, you fought countless battles against foreign tribes too.”

With an expression that said ‘what nonsense is this’ and ‘I’ve heard something truly absurd’, Kaella refuted his words.

She might let it slide if it was something about her, but as someone who had witnessed it, she somehow didn’t want to let it go when he claimed something untrue as fact. For four years, she had seen it clearly with her own two eyes.

“Foreign tribes that invaded more than thirty times a year in severe cases. Did elder brother’s father intervene every time? He didn’t, right? Why are you saying you did nothing? Why are you saying such strange things?”

“Kaella.”

A flustered Peon called her name. He quickly put down the fork and reached out his hand, then withdrew it, then didn’t know what to do. He had an ominous feeling that Kaella might cry as she argued with her eyes wide open.

“Don’t say such things. Elder brother is an excellent person. I, someone like me, could only look up at elder brother and didn’t dare to even speak to you.”

Her voice trembled with indignation. Her blue eyes filled with resentment beyond irritation. Peon finally reached out to her. Cold sweat began to form.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Kaella. I misspoke. I’m sorry. You’re right.”

“That’s why I kept liking you. Even though I knew you disliked it, I still kept liking you. Because you were excellent and cool.”

In Kaella’s cold and narrow world, there were two absolute propositions. Peon and Beatrice had to love each other forever, and Peon was a man admired by gentlemen and adored by ladies.

That was an absolute truth that should not be broken. All the tragedy began when Kaella, who was unworthy and lowly compared to Peon, dared to sit in the position of the Grand Duchess in violation of that truth.

So when he, who seemed like he would love Beatrice forever, cleanly cut Beatrice off after regressing, she felt wronged and angry.

Well, the breakdown of the relationship with Beatrice was their own business, so be it. But the fact that Peon was an excellent man and the lord of the North was literally the truth.

Peon was a person so excellent that the incompetent Kaella could not even approach him.

This time too, she felt wronged and angry. While he was still perfectly excellent, what nonsense was this in front of her, who couldn’t even pull herself together and was pathetically unable to do anything?

She hated seeing him shamelessly disparage himself with such ridiculous excuses. She didn’t know why. She just hated it.

“If even my liking elder brother was a sin, what am I if the reason I liked him is not true?”

Moisture glistened in her reddened eyes. Peon froze, captivated by those eyes, feeling a shock piercing through him.

“I’m sorry.”

This is it. He caressed Kaella’s cheek with a trembling hand. She lowered her head deeply, avoiding his hand, and mumbled. No. This doesn’t seem right. Belatedly, his mind was in confusion.

“I don’t know what I’m saying. Forget it. I said something strange.”

But the persistent, large hand completely enveloped the avoiding face, soothing it.

“No, you spoke correctly. I was wrong. I’m sorry.”

He succeeded. Peon pulled Kaella into his arms before she could see his face. So this was it. This was how it was.

Finally, the quietly stagnant Kaella reacted. She got angry, felt wronged. In a small voice, forgetting formalities, she reverted to her old way of speaking, arguing and protesting.

The man who must remain perfect in the future silently laughed while looking at empty space. His wide-open eyes and upturned mouth corners were filled with tingling elation.

“I’m sorry.”

You’re reacting because of me, not anything else. You’re getting emotional, getting angry. I’ll let you get angrier, feel more wronged, and express your emotions like a normal person from now on. I’ll hold onto you so you can live more vividly like that.

Peon trembled with joy as he carefully embraced Kaella, worried that holding her too tightly might break or hurt her. He was incomparably happier than the Emperor who was going mad.