“This is the first time I’ve felt this way in my life. With Sally……”
Eloise, who had stopped writing, frowned with a serious expression.
After hesitating for a moment, she soon wrote the second sentence.
“I feel like I’m drifting apart from Sally.”
The past few days had been so strange, with no conversation exchanged in the sisters’ dark bedroom at night except for a goodnight greeting.
It seemed like this had never happened since they began speaking, and it truly felt unfamiliar.
‘My sister must have a lot on her mind too. She’s facing a completely new life after all.’
She must be excited, but equally scared. So she might not want to talk…
“Haa.”
Eloise stopped her thoughts and let out a faint sigh.
It was an absurd excuse to begin with. She was originally not talkative.
Sarah, who had been mature since childhood, always listened to Eloise’s stories with a gentle smile.
Naturally, it was Eloise who would call out to her sister several times every night as she tried to fall asleep.
So the meaning behind the sisters’ reduced conversation was obvious. She was avoiding her sister.
Afraid that her impure desire to stand beside that man instead of her sister might somehow be discovered.
She had become quite skilled at pretending to be excited, as if she herself was looking forward to it, when talk of her sister’s wedding came up during meals.
It was an utterly despicable thing to do.
In contrast, Sarah remained unchanged. She was as quiet and calm as ever.
Although she should be anxious about the sudden marriage ahead, her face, lost in thought, looked happier than ever before.
‘Marriage can’t be purely joyful. It’s stepping into a completely unfamiliar world after all.’
So there could only be one reason she looked happy. The belief that with him, she could overcome any difficulty.
Every time Eloise dwelled on the fact that this was a happiness she would never have, her heart felt painfully constricted.
It was sad but inevitable. Because no one else could make her feel that way. Except for Ansel Blaine.
Some gossiped that the Bailey daughter had caught a man above her station.
But Eloise thought it fortunate that he was not only more than worthy but also an extraordinary person.
If her sister had gotten engaged to an unremarkable man, though it’s questionable whether mother would have allowed it, the duty of marriage for the family’s future would have fallen entirely on her, the second daughter.
Above all, Eloise had no intention of accepting even if she were to receive a proposal that would impress even Mrs. Pullum.
Though she knew it was an immature thought, she truly didn’t want to become anyone’s wife.
If not him…
Eloise squeezed her eyes shut in distress and closed her diary.
‘What am I thinking?’
The strange thing wasn’t the quiet night, but her own heart.
Eloise only hoped that Sarah would never know about these feelings of hers, or even if she found out, that she would pretend not to know.
[This is the timeline separator]“Ansel, would you like more tea?”
Mrs. Bailey’s gentle voice was heard. It was a soft tone that could be believed to belong to the graceful mistress of a noble house.
“Please, be comfortable. We’re practically family now, so there’s no need for such formality.”
Ansel’s response was barely audible. It was because his voice was very low.
Curious, Eloise found herself amusing as she held her breath like a mouse in the kitchen, straining her ears.
More precisely, it was funny that she had excused herself saying she would help Mrs. Hurst with the laundry, only to end up standing blankly in front of the stairs leading to the basement.
Eloise sank down weakly in that spot and swallowed a sigh.
“How foolish, really.”
He had revisited the Bailey house not long after the proposal that had set Mayberry abuzz.
As if to prove his fervent love, the beautiful suitor visited the Bailey house several times a week since his first visit.
Even though he was staying in Longfield all summer, it was quite a bold move considering his status.
Given that they were engaged, it wouldn’t be strange to invite Sarah to Fairmont House to spend the summer together, yet he deliberately came to this old house. The reason was obvious.
‘…He knows that my sister is uncomfortable with that mansion.’
It wasn’t as if he was doing anything grand by visiting his fiancée’s home.
His purpose was simply a brief conversation with Sarah.
Today had unexpectedly turned into a tea time with Mrs. Bailey joining, but usually, Ansel would quietly meet only his fiancée before leaving.
It wasn’t at all passionate or boisterous for a couple about to be married, but Eloise could immediately tell that this too was consideration for her sister.
After all, her sister was shy. Even if she was to be his wife soon, he was willingly matching her pace.
And after marriage, they would create their own rhythm on a melody meant only for the two of them.
One step at a time, slowly and tenderly.
How beautiful would that dance be? Surely it would be so enchanting that one couldn’t take their eyes off it.
Thinking about it, a corner of her heart ached without fail.
“It will be incomparably dull compared to the capital, are you sure it’s alright to come down? It will be different from spending just a season and returning.”
Mrs. Bailey asked then, and for the first time, his answer was audible.
Like a whisper right next to her ear, it was a strangely deep and clear resonance.
“You have no idea how long I’ve dreamed of living here.”
“Oh, Ansel…”
Mrs. Bailey exclaimed. Though she made no sound, Eloise felt the same way.
Sarah didn’t say anything, but Eloise could vividly imagine what expression her sister would be wearing.
Sally, with her pearly face tinged pink, smiling shyly.
How sweetly would Ansel’s eyes be shining as he gazed at her sister?
They were truly a well-matched pair, enough to make anyone agree that this is what love that overcomes class barriers looks like.
Eloise had never thought of eavesdropping on the conversations her sister and Ansel had in the empty study. She knew without having to listen.
That those words would be softer and more fragrant than any fine poem or song.
It was better not to see the two of them together.
More precisely, it was more dangerous to see Ansel alone than to see the beautiful couple together. Encountering him was terribly harmful for Eloise.
Whenever she laid eyes on him, who had grown into a perfect man, her heart would inevitably become turbulent.
The fragments of memories from childhood where he had stayed and the words left unsaid would tangle chaotically in her mind, causing distress.
So she simply couldn’t face him with a composed expression.
Given how long she had liked him, and the fact that he had become the marriage partner of her beloved sister, it would be a lie to say she wasn’t affected. So in the end, it was a matter to leave to time.
After the wedding, she would eventually be able to accept it all. Though her sister’s absence would be unbearably lonely for a while, life would go on.
So she had to endure, even if it was painful.
‘Even if it’s such a childish method, I have to avoid that person.’
There were less than three months left until her sister’s wedding anyway. Just one season.
Having organized her thoughts, Eloise stood up abruptly. Her steps towards the basement were rather solemn.
“Mrs. Hurst!”
It was some time after that when she realized life doesn’t always go as planned.
Precarious yet peaceful days continued. Time flowed steadily, if slowly, and summer gradually ripened.
On that bright summer day, coincidentally, only Eloise was on the first floor.
The reason being that Mr. Bailey had left on a long journey to fulfill his role as the head of the family, while his wife and eldest daughter had gone to the village to pick up ordered fabrics.
Mrs. Hurst, exhausted from waging war with the ducks, was taking a nap, and Eloise was pressing the old keys with a bored expression.
“I’m sad, my love. You’re too cruel.”
Her song, layered over the piano playing, was subtly off-key.
It was even half a beat slower than the accompaniment. It could be called a complete mess, but Eloise didn’t mind.
There was no one listening anyway, and she was merely alleviating boredom.
“Leaving me so arrogantly…”
But the performance soon came to a halt. The sudden sound of horse hooves was the cause.
As soon as her fingertips stopped pressing the keys, a knock on the door was heard.
Eloise felt the hair on her body stand on end.
It was only natural that the memory of a certain dawn, which had been fading smoothly, was vividly revived.
‘Of all times, when I’m alone…’
She could feel a light sweat forming on her palms, but Eloise tried to remain calm.
Since he had just visited yesterday, the person at the door now might not be him.
It could be her mother’s guest, someone sent from Fairmont House, or if not that…
However, when the unknown visitor knocked on the door once more, Eloise’s thoughts faded helplessly.
In fact, she could tell everything just from the neat footsteps and knock sound. She had only been desperately trying to deny it.
“…Yes.”
By the time she stood in front of the door, Eloise could already smell his scent.
The fresh fragrance revealed a clear presence in the mild summer air.
Cool and slightly bitter bergamot. And the soft smell of herbs… It was now difficult to distinguish whether this was a fantasy or not.
Her trembling hand carefully undid the lock. After an eternity-like moment passed and the door opened, that familiar scent intensified. Eloise’s vision darkened.
“An…”
The man’s body scent, which she had come to smell even in her dreams since that dawn, made her whole body go weak.
She couldn’t possibly sit down like a fool, so she somehow managed to stand on her two legs, but she absolutely couldn’t bring herself to look at him.
He was close enough to reach out and caress her face. There was no way she could maintain a nonchalant expression…
In the shadow cast by his shoulders, Eloise couldn’t raise her head and could only stare down at his pitch-black shoes.
Miserably, even the tips of the man’s feet before her were beautiful.
Then, a deep voice resonated above her head, as if in a dream.
“Eloise.”
Turns Out He’s Been Secretly in Love with Me
One-line summary: He acts like he doesn’t like her but is actually playing hard to get.
Synopsis:
Xu Muzhou like her. He has liked her for a very long time, and through repeated schemes, he finally closed the distance with her.
But this is still far from enough.
He wants to be the one who stands out among her many suitors, to fight for her attention, and to make her take the initiative to pursue him.
_____
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