So the two of them were probably very close. In a word, they seemed to be lovers.

In their high and noble world that one cannot dare to enter, and thus cannot know, it was already public…

“Sigh.”

The moment she realized that fact, her heart sank to the bottom.

Her feelings seemed to crumple pitifully.

How should she define this feeling? The sorrow of not being able to become his lover? The betrayal towards him who talked about marriage despite clearly having a lover? Or was it hatred?

‘Well… what can I say.’

Since they lived in completely different worlds and there was also the matter with her elder sister, she naturally didn’t take the marriage talk seriously.

She got angry numerous times. However, it was Eloise’s own will to stay in this house even knowing his good intentions.

Every evening without fail, she read the desire in that man’s eyes.

She knew of his persistent gaze that observed her as if not to miss even a single breath.

Even if his feelings were not in a noble and upright form, Eloise was not unaware that his desire for her was sustaining her current life.

So even while feeling suffocating pressure at times, she couldn’t deny the anticipation for the evenings spent with him.

From the beginning, he only spoke of love, ardent love. But Eloise did not accept it.

Because of the heavy guilt weighing on her heart. Because she knew the end would be miserable anyway. Just thinking about the things she would have to endure made her afraid, and she had no confidence to bear it.

‘Because I’m afraid of that person, of my feelings for him…’

So while turning away from him, did she have the right to be angry that he took someone else as a lover? While having no confidence to accept him, while having no courage to jump into that storm…

Eloise didn’t even dare to ask him about his lover when he would return home soon.

So in the end, all that remained in her mind was the pathetic and despicable thought, ‘I wish I didn’t know.’

The fact that the woman’s existence hurt her was laughable. Her feelings were too complicated to grasp.

“…I’m tired.”

It had been another long day.

As if her feet were weighed down by rocks, Eloise climbed the stairs with slow steps, despite having rushed down earlier with her exhausted body.

‘Surely Sir Ansel’s lover wouldn’t harm his people.’

Eloise, who had somehow reached a corner of the second floor corridor, stepped barefoot on the narrow stairs leading to the attic.

Its surface was as cold as ice, sending ripples of goosebumps down her spine.

After all, outside it was already a season when the evening wind was quite harsh, and the attic where she stayed was the coldest and loneliest place in this mansion.

As she crawled into that dark and cold place, Eloise somehow thought that this attic resembled her heart.

It was none other than herself who had insisted on using the attic.

She lacked the composure to casually use the room across from Ansel’s bedroom, but perhaps from the beginning, she felt a sense of kinship with this shabby attic that didn’t fit in this beautiful house.

‘To think I’m having such miserable thoughts now of all times.’

No matter how she thought about it, it was stranger for such a dashing man to not have a lover, so it was odd for her heart to throb like this.

Even during the times when he visited Longfield every summer, the village women agreed that Sir Ansel must have a lover in the capital.

Knowingly or unknowingly, she had been smug about having a piece of his daily life, but that was only a part after all. Eloise knew nothing about Ansel Blaine outside the mansion.

Of course, she had never been to the military office where he spent half of his day.

So these feelings were absurdly abrupt.

There was no reason for her heart to ache as if it were being cut to pieces.

“It’s cold…”

The small window in the ceiling rattled precariously.

Listening to that sound, Eloise wrapped her tired body in the thick blanket that had slipped under the bed. Then she immediately jumped onto the mattress.

The wind was unusually fierce this evening.

With that thought, as she gently closed her eyes, the image of a woman sensually revealing her body vividly came to mind as if it were engraved on her eyelids.

She also wondered if the way back after not being able to meet him would be cold.

It was some time later that the maid quietly appeared at the entrance of the cramped attic.

She woke Eloise, who had fallen into a light sleep from tapping on the wooden floor, and delivered unexpected news.

“A person from the military office just came and left a message. He said he won’t be returning today.”

“…”

“Will you have dinner right away?”

Eloise weakly shook her head.

She was tired and not hungry, and her mouth felt dry after waking up, so she had no appetite.

Instead of saying she wanted to skip dinner tonight, she quietly pulled the blanket over her head, and soon the sound of the maid descending the stairs was heard.

Ah, perhaps the way back wasn’t that cold after all. Such fleeting and undeserving thoughts came to mind as the vast waves of sleep were felt gradually approaching.

Eloise had no choice but to face it.

“Why are you so out of it today?”

She had heard the same thing from Harry this morning. As expected, she ended up injuring the precious chicken meat that needed to be handled carefully.

Sighing lightly, Eloise straightened her cone-shaped linen work cap and habitually replied.

“I’m sorry, it was a mistake…”

“I’m not scolding you. It’s just that you don’t seem to be in good condition today.”

When Melanie spoke in a serious tone, the other two women also nodded in agreement.

It was obvious that Eloise had been distracted since morning.

But if that was all, they would have laughed it off as being suitable for a twenty-two-year-old lady who was just beginning to learn about bittersweet emotions.

Today, Eloise looked unusually haggard.

Her originally fair face was extremely pale.

She also didn’t burst into laughter like a chirping bird at Alicia’s mischievous jokes, which had become a routine.

What filled the void of that laughter was deep sighs.

“I’m fine. So that I don’t hinder today’s target amount-”

“Oh, Eloise.”

At that moment, Alicia, who had wiped the sweat on the bridge of her nose with her sleeve, approached and placed her bare hand on Eloise’s forehead after taking off her glove.

“Look at this, I knew it. You’re a complete fireball, a fireball.”

“Really? That’s strange. I really feel fine…”

“Feeling fine, my foot! Did something happen yesterday?”

At those words, Eloise’s face took on a strangely sorrowful tint. However, her following answer was quite firm.

“Nothing happened.”

“Is that so? It looks like it might get worse tomorrow. Go see Mr. Osborne, right now.”

Alicia lightly pinched Eloise’s soft cheek as she hesitated without answering.

“Hurry. Tell him you’ll rest tomorrow. If he sees your current state, he’ll allow it immediately. Go on.”

“…Yes.”

Eloise, who politely clasped her hands together, carefully left the workshop, making sure not to spill the feathers inside the sack.

Passing by the busy workers and the men leaning against the building chatting, she passed the path leading to the chicken coop and arrived at the manager’s office, which was as humble as a hut.

“Mr. Osborne, I’m sorry to bother you when you’re busy. I…”

“Oh, dear!”

From experience so far, Alicia’s words were rarely wrong, and this time was no exception.

Even though it was common to be rebuffed when bringing up the topic of leave the day before, Mr. Osborne immediately approved the leave.

That’s how poor Eloise’s complexion was.

“Where did the lady who was confident about being healthy go?”

“…I know, right.”

Eloise, who couldn’t even finish half of the lunch box that the maid had generously packed for her, conscious of skipping dinner last night, got worse in the afternoon.

Now she couldn’t even say she was fine, even as a formality.

Mr. Osborne’s excessive concern for health was clearly demonstrated today as well.

Eloise had to argue with him for a while to calm him down, as he insisted that she should go home right away, not just tomorrow.

That was because after Eloise’s work pace had settled, the factory had increased the number of chickens that needed to be processed in a day.

If one person suddenly went missing, that share naturally fell to her colleagues.

Eloise already felt more than ashamed just for taking a full day off tomorrow.

Thus, she barely met today’s workload with her ailing body.

Of course, it was possible thanks to the consideration of her colleagues. But shamefully, today the joy of finally being able to go home was greater than the gratitude.

She was just relieved to finish an hour earlier than the set time.

“Then I’ll go back first. Finish up well.”

“Good work.”

“Rest well, Eloise!”

The work was over, but she still had to walk a long way to reach Royal Arch.

Perhaps because she hurried her steps, the wind that passed by her was as sharp as if it were cutting her flesh, and her body had no strength as if it wanted to collapse at any moment.

She didn’t know with what spirit she made it back home.

“Ah, I’m completely exhausted…”

Finally, after several attempts to fumble with the keyhole of the back door of the mansion, Eloise was able to enter the warm house.

“Wa- water has been heated.”

Perhaps startled by her paper-white complexion, the maid stammered uncharacteristically.

“…Thank you.”

Eloise truly had no energy to joke around, let alone wash her body.

But she forced her tired legs to head to the bathroom.

In any case, she couldn’t enter the dining room in such a dirty state.