“… I don’t know, Mr. Cleaven. How should I feel being here? How do you feel being here? Surely more than me….”

Shivering slightly in the cold morning air, she gently raised her head to look at her colleague. Finally, it was his turn.

“It’s a difficult story….”

With those words, Harry looked up at the morning sky where faint birdsong echoed and continued.

“You’re right. It’s certainly a difficult job. It’s very demanding, and above all, having to take the lives of animals with these hands. At first, I thought it was terrible too. For a while, I even thought it was a lowly job. I couldn’t work without drinking.”

“Ah….”

“Of course, not anymore. My father supported our family through this slaughtering work. So to disparage this work would be to disrespect my father.”

“He sounds like a great man.”

“He passed away now. In an accident.”

While Eloise was at a loss for words, Harry was still looking at the sky.

“I started this work because I missed my father and wanted to understand his heart. It’s already been 4 years.”

“… I’m sorry to hear that, Mr. Cleaven.”

“I wasn’t going to share this much, but… Miss Bailey, did you know that when you take a cow to the slaughterhouse, it sheds tears?”

Eloise, who had little connection with live cows, let alone ducks, asked back hesitantly.

“It sheds tears…?”

“Yes. It cries out of fear. It knows death is imminent…. Fortunately, our factory gets its cattle from various places, so they’re not the ones I raised like my own children. But still, on the day I first slaughtered, those eyes looking at me haunted me for a long time.”

“….”

“The immense guilt was an added bonus. Actually, even now, I can’t say I’m completely numb to it. Since it’s not something that can suddenly disappear from the world, I’d rather people not know the detailed process as much as possible.”

Eloise moved her lips but couldn’t readily respond. But Harry seemed to know what she wanted to ask now.

“Even if I tell you how I became okay with it, it might not help you since it’s just my case. But whenever I felt doubt, I thought of my father’s work. Every time he slaughtered a cow or pig, he would take the leftover meat and share it with poor neighbors.”

A faint smile had already appeared on Harry’s lips.

“I still remember what they said back then. They said your father is doing a thankful and sacred job.”

“….”

“No matter the process, I try to remind myself that I’m doing a job that feeds people and allows them to live. I try to have a grateful heart towards the animals at every moment.”

“Come to think of it, Mr. Osborne said something similar. Bringing happiness to families’ dining tables….”

The woman’s eyes as she spoke were so clear, it wouldn’t be strange if she shed tears at any moment.

“That’s exactly it. It’s a job that gives you a sense of mission to some degree. It’s clearly one of the jobs that supports this society. But I hope you don’t overdo it, Miss Bailey. Instead of guilt, just keep a heart of being sorry and grateful.”

“A heart of being sorry and grateful….”

“And if it gets too hard, quit and find another job. There are so many other important jobs in the world that are indispensable.”

The moment Eloise was about to say thank you, he quickly added.

“Of course, I’d prefer it the most if you stayed for a long time, Miss Bailey….”

“….”

Harry, who contradicted the conclusion he had reached over a long time, stopped talking in surprise.

Seeing his ears turn slightly red, Eloise finally let out a small laugh.

At that moment, she felt the factory entrance in the distance become bustling. Harry abruptly stood up.

“I guess it’s time already. Feeling a bit better?”

It was a problem with no correct answer to begin with, so it couldn’t be resolved completely with one conversation.

But it was clear that Eloise had regained courage thanks to the sincerity he shared.

As she took his outstretched hand, a spring-like warmth spread. Eloise stood up and smiled again.

“Yes. Thanks to you.”

This morning, the officers of the Brightenham Military Office boarded a military carriage.

It was to go to Bering, a western city of the kingdom where one of the major military bases was located.

As soon as they arrived in Bering, a long series of meetings on assessing the current situation, evaluating operations, and establishing plans followed.

Finally, as the first day of the two-day schedule came to an end, the leadership figures of the base and office rose in unison.

Only after a round of greetings did they disperse to their respective homes and guest accommodations.

However, Ansel Blaine still remained at the base.

To be exact, he was waiting for his appointment in the lounge attached to the barracks.

“Captain Blaine.”

Then, a man who entered the lounge saluted neatly. Ansel slightly lifted his upper body that had been tilted.

The classmate he hadn’t seen in a while had changed as if he were a different person.

“Sorry to keep you waiting.”

“Haines.”

The last time he saw him was at the graduation ceremony in the height of Chatham’s summer.

So only one season had changed, but he had already gained this weight, naturally feeling unfamiliar.

‘That Oscar Haines, who remained unchangingly loud throughout the two years we spent together.’

The only change was the uniform. Even that didn’t differ much in design.

Perhaps the military officer appointment, that obvious fact set from the beginning, held the greatest meaning for him?

“I didn’t expect you to come all the way here, Captain.”

“Drop the formalities. I’m the only one here anyway.”

“Yes, sir!”

But as soon as the words of permission were spoken, Oscar immediately reverted to his cadet days with an exaggerated sigh.

Ansel, who had become dumbfounded, let out a hollow laugh and spoke.

“I thought you had finally become more soldier-like.”

“I was born a soldier. You’re the one who said you’d hate being a soldier even if you died, but suddenly you’re a captain?”

“….”

He had no memory of using the reckless expression of hating it even if he died, but correcting Oscar’s words one by one would quickly lead to an argument.

“Ah, maybe you meant you hated training under the scorching sun? No, but then again, you monopolized every single training award. For a distinguished figure who even served as the cadet representative in that hell, isn’t the military office’s intelligence department a bit, how should I put it, unnerving?”

“You’re still talkative as ever.”

As if he had missed that cold response, Lieutenant Haines let out a refreshing laugh.

It was a truly loud and hearty laugh that Ansel hadn’t heard in the busy but quiet military office or even at home.

“So? Is the atmosphere there just as bad?”

“If the atmosphere was good, there would be no reason to come here. For two days at that.”

The two-day business trip, decided abruptly this morning, crumpled the refreshing start of the day like a piece of paper.

For Captain Blaine, who lived only for the evening, specifically the evening hours spent in his cozy dining room, it was devastating news comparable to a bolt from the blue.

“Well, the situation must be quite serious. Now it’s….”

Ansel remained silent at Oscar’s words that continued as if in despair. The nation’s security. Devotion to the royal family. The duties that must be fulfilled as a soldier and an aristocrat….

The lofty and grand values he once believed to be the reason for his existence felt as worthless as dust floating in the air in front of the name of a small, fragile woman.

If the reality before his eyes flowed as everyone feared, he could lose his daily life at any moment.

Even after leaving the viscount’s residence, he was still a noble of Wellington and an army captain, still under the rule of the immense principles that couldn’t be defied.

Despite clearly knowing that fact, Ansel’s body ached with the desire to have that woman.

His eyes rolled like a mad dog, thinking of her all day long.

Her eyes, skin and lips, hair and curves, scent, voice, and even her breathing.

This dull sensation was unfamiliar to Ansel, who had learned to endure rather than desire what he wanted, and was even somewhat unpleasant to some degree.

But there was no way to suppress this desire that only grew more fierce by the day.

As Captain Blaine’s silence lengthened, Oscar ruffled his shortened blond hair with his fingertips.

“Let’s stop the gloomy talk. We’ll suffer through it tomorrow anyway, won’t we?”

“….”

“Actually, I’m doubtful. The probability is fifty-fifty anyway. I know it’s not cool to act complacent, but it’s also true that worrying doesn’t change anything, right?”

Perhaps from being swamped with demanding work as soon as he was commissioned as an officer, Oscar scratched his noticeably withered cheek and continued.

“By the way, are you two still in a cold war? You and the viscount, I mean.”

“Yes.”

At the prompt reply as if it were nothing significant, Oscar let out a sigh.

“So why did you do that in the first place? If you were going to break it anyway, why cause a marriage fuss? Even involving Lord Longfield at that….”

“It’s in the past.”

“Hmph.”

The lieutenant, who lost his words at the surprisingly calm response, glanced at the officer with an excessively handsome appearance.

The man, whose inner thoughts he could never understand even during the times he prided himself on being the closest to him, was now exuding an even more secretive and elusive atmosphere.

“It’s not like you. Even though it’s practically no different from being expelled from the family, just not publicly known yet, how can you be so composed? They say without a family, you’re nothing. Am I looking at a ghost right now?”

“I don’t know either. I don’t know, but….”

Oscar frowned with his arms crossed at the answer that was utterly unlike the Ansel Blaine he knew, lacking any backbone.

At that moment, a low voice continued.

“I feel like everything was for it to end up like this.”

“What do you mean by that? End up like this?”

She came to me. That woman I could never reach no matter what, now in my shadow, by her own will….

“I found it. What I had been searching for, for a very long time.”