As If I've Never Loved - Chapter 48

“Please come out.”

It was right after that moment when Eloise, who was blinking slowly with drowsy eyes, not even knowing where she was, froze with a face like a startled rabbit.

“The master has returned.”

“……!”

Looking around hurriedly, the vividly rippling crimson sunset was slanting in through the window.

Eloise, who hastily wiped off the moisture with a prepared towel, ran out of the bathroom in a daze.

“…… Where are my clothes?”

The maid, with a face unable to hide her bewilderment, quietly alternated her gaze between Eloise, who was standing and dripping water, and her water-soaked feet, and soon led her to the guest room where the preparations were finished.

‘When did it get so late? Why did I fall asleep……!’

There was no time to admire the beauty of this room, let alone time to dry her hair.

Even if it was not enough to personally greet Ansel Blaine upon his return, she fell asleep in the bathtub and made him wait. Who was the one receiving help in this situation……?

Eloise, trying hard to ignore the burning sensation on her face, hastily opened the suitcase placed on one side of the room.

All the clothes she had were three outdoor dresses, two nightgowns, one spencer jacket, and a shawl.

Even then, the dress she wore today had to be excluded as it urgently needed washing.

“Sigh, what should I wear……”

Her hair, heavy with moisture, flowed down over her forehead, obscuring her vision.

Eloise, who was blankly staring into the suitcase while dripping water droplets, swept her hair back with a determined look and picked up a navy blue dress.

What are you worrying about? None of these clothes are anything special anyway. When her thoughts reached that point, a bitter smile escaped like a sigh.

In the dining room, where beautiful silver candlesticks were emitting a brilliant light, a meal for two was prepared.

One end of the beautifully smooth oval-shaped mahogany table was empty, and at the opposite end sat a man holding a half-folded newspaper in one hand and a teacup in the other.

He was frozen in place, his gaze fixed on the paper in a stillness that seemed as if time had stopped.

The gently lowered black eyelashes, the smoothly falling straight nose, and the neatly placed lips below it were so supremely noble that it seemed like a delicate sculpture at a glance.

Eloise, who had been tracing the candlelight’s shadows flickering faintly on that beautiful face with her eyes for a while, unconsciously bit her lower lip.

It was when she gently clasped her slightly sweaty hands near her navel that Ansel noticed the cautious presence.

He silently raised only his pupils while keeping his chin lowered.

His eyes, filled with light, seemed to have a sharp golden color at first glance. They were the eyes of a bird of prey that had spotted its prey.

The fierceness was very brief, but Eloise froze, forgetting to breathe.

As if she had become the prey for that bird of prey.

Only when Ansel finally put down the newspaper and leaned back against the backrest, bringing the teacup to his lips, could Eloise exhale the breath she had been holding.

As she repeated slow breaths, her tense chest rose and fell slightly. Those green eyes were staring at her as if they were nailed down.

After a period of silence, Eloise opened her mouth. It was the first word she managed to utter after chewing her lips for a long time, as if crushing rose petals.

“Thank you, Captain.”

“What?”

Ansel’s smooth forehead furrowed deeply.

When his eyes, which had a hazy color like fog, slowly narrowed, Eloise added a word.

“Thanks to you, I was able to wash up and rest comfortably. So I wanted to express my gratitude first. For making you wait—”

“Why are you addressing me like that?”

“…… Ah, I’m sorry, Lord Ansel.”

When she mumbled in an uncertain voice as if gauging his reaction, Ansel let out an incredulous laugh.

Disappointingly, the curve of those lips was so beautiful that Eloise was momentarily at a loss for words.

“Ansel.”

“……”

“Call me by my name, like before. It’s just the two of us now.”

At those words, Eloise’s bright blue eyes widened, but soon the light contained within them slowly sank.

Like the moon waiting for dawn.

“I can’t do that.”

The days when she interacted with him casually were already a distant past.

The Ansel of that time was not the young master of a noble family, nor the promising top student of the kingdom’s most prestigious school, nor the pride of the Royal Military Academy, nor the captain of the military office.

But now, everything had changed. Literally everything. The only thing that hadn’t changed was the fact that Eloise Bailey was still the second daughter of a common family with nothing to her name.

The smooth face staring straight at him with pursed lips was quite stubborn.

Even with a delicate appearance without a single firm part, her eyes always had an unyielding light, just like always.

Eloise would never dream that this aspect of hers appeared lovely in Ansel’s eyes.

Ansel skillfully erased the smile that had risen to the corners of his mouth and rubbed his chin.

“Even if I say I want to hear it?”

It must have been an illusion, but his question felt like a plea.

Eloise, who clenched her hands tightly to avoid being captivated by the enchanting low voice that made her legs go weak, shook her head instead of answering.

Then, a low voice followed like a sigh.

“Do as you please.”

It seemed that he had no intention of being courteous anymore. Of course, it was natural for him.

He had no obligation to be courteous to a woman with no status, and the act of being her elder sister’s fiancé, which was nothing but a deception, had come to an end.

But Eloise felt as if she had returned to the past, and her throat itched for no reason.

Of course, she had no intention of revealing such feelings.

“Just sit down. The food will get cold.”

At those words, Eloise quickly sat down. She tried to fix her gaze on the spotlessly clean silver tableware, but the appetizing dishes kept catching her eye.

During her stay here, she had resolved not to show any weakness, and today she had something clear to say to him.

It was no exaggeration to say that her future life here depended on the conversation that was about to begin, so she needed to present a rational appearance.

But she was too hungry right now.

‘…… What should I do about this?’

That was because the tea and a small amount of biscuits she had been treated to in the drawing room were all the food she had eaten today.

If only she hadn’t accidentally fallen asleep in the bathtub, she could have easily satisfied her hunger before Ansel returned…… But what was the use of regretting it now?

Eloise tried to turn away from the steak topped with thick gravy, but the greasy and savory smell was an irresistible temptation.

‘No. I can’t show a foolish appearance. At least not today……’

Eloise, who had struggled to lift her gaze, met Ansel’s eyes.

It seemed that he had been watching her all along as she fought not to stare at the dishes on the table with a desperate face.

The moment her head turned white with shame, Ansel spoke.

“Feel free to eat. Like you used to do at your house.”

“……”

“This isn’t your maternal grandfather’s mansion, so why are you nervous?”

The moment she realized that he also knew she was nervous, Eloise wanted to disappear with a poof.

Although they had spent a shining summer together in the past and were sitting face to face like this now, in fact, there was an insurmountable gap between him and her.

From the beginning, it was a relationship that had never been equal. Even so, Eloise couldn’t help but assert her pride in front of him.

She knew it was ridiculous. This was like a small hedgehog raising its quills in front of a lion.

“Eloise, are you uncomfortable with me?”

“No.”

Eloise lied out of habit. Of course, there was no way she could be comfortable, but she felt that if she readily acknowledged it, she would appear weak.

“You look like you have a lot to say, but let’s have dinner first. Do you know how thin you’ve become?”

Saying that, Ansel picked up the cutlery.

Perhaps because he was wearing a white dress shirt, his fair and noble face looked even colder.

Eloise, who had been looking at him like that for a moment, had no choice but to grasp the tableware at his next words.

“If you want, I can even feed you myself. It’s not a difficult task at all.”

“…… I can eat on my own.”

Eloise, whose cheeks had turned slightly red, started eating with her gaze lowered.

She carefully looked over the plates placed in front of her, took the cream soup that still retained its warmth, and ate it politely.

The fragrant flavor of onions seemed to gently soothe her empty stomach.

Ansel was watching Eloise like that.

He even pretended to be meticulously cutting the roasted vegetables, just in case she stopped eating.

‘Did you happen to encounter a lost kitten at the scene, sir?’

It was a clumsy deduction, but Ansel didn’t feel like it was entirely wrong.

The way she had been curled up in a corner of the square, crying, was no different from a lost kitten.

Especially her face, which had become thinner and more haggard than before.

Anyway, now that he had brought her to his residence and was having dinner with her, Ansel Blaine felt grateful for the first time that he had defied his family’s wishes.

Even just yesterday, he never imagined that he would have such irreverent thoughts, but the joy of finally having what he had desperately wanted was so immense that it shook even his firm beliefs.

At that moment, Eloise, her starry eyes shining, brought her fork and knife towards the well-grilled beef.

Ansel, who had been watching her, quietly swallowed a laugh and tilted the glass filled with wine.

No matter what kind of things she had gone through, Eloise was no longer like a lost kitten.

Now she was safe. Within his shadow. Somewhere he could see and touch as much as he wanted. So the role left for him must be one.

‘I’ll have to take care of her with love.’

When he smiled with the utmost satisfaction at that thought, Eloise suddenly raised her head.