As If I've Never Loved - Chapter 21

Unable to contain my nervousness, I unintentionally spoke in an anxious tone. Ansel, without even blinking, said his piece.

“And I’d prefer if we didn’t meet after the marriage.”

“That’s a scary joke, Ansel.”

Delicate hands wrapped tightly around the teacup that still held a faint warmth.

“It’s not like you really mean it.”

“I do mean it.”

Ansel replied lightly, resting his head against the leather sofa.

Though his face appeared calm at first glance, his pale green eyes, looking down obliquely, held an undisguised sharpness.

Bianca’s heart sank. It seemed as if Ansel was angry.

If he was angry because of her, she wouldn’t mind, but if it was for the woman who would soon become his wife…

Her voice continued urgently.

“I know how you feel. You want to escape from your father’s shadow, right? You’ve always felt suffocated by the family, haven’t you?”

Ansel, who had been lazily checking his pocket watch, let out a murky sigh.

“Escape? That’s not it.”

“Didn’t you dislike your father? Whenever the Viscount was mentioned, you always…”

“Why would I? He’s the one who raised and taught me.”

Ansel answered in a calm tone, holding his teacup.

It was the complete truth. That’s why Bianca’s misunderstanding seemed so absurd to him.

“From the start, agreeing to such an unsuitable marriage itself is an act of defiance against the family, Ansel.”

Bianca retorted, her eyes wide open, as if driven by stubbornness.

Her blue eyes, reflecting the light of the chandelier, weren’t unpleasant to look at.

For someone who despised wasting time on meaningless things, spending time with Bianca Talbot couldn’t have been willingly done, but her eyes alone provided some small comfort.

Of course, if the color had been a bit deeper, it would have been closer to his ideal, but in that moment when they gazed at the dawn sky together, it was exactly this color…

“Answer me, Ansel. Can you say that this marriage commotion isn’t your belated rebellion?”

Bianca’s voice was somewhat agitated. Her face, waiting for an answer with her hands clasped, seemed almost desperate.

To some extent, it could be seen as cute, but this wasn’t the mansion, it was inside a fairly busy coffee shop.

Letting her continue to chatter like this was no different from throwing feed to the gossipmongers of high society.

Ansel took a sip of tea with a calm face. Then, in a deep, low voice, he asked back.

“Do you think this marriage would have been possible if Father hadn’t allowed it?”

“That’s…”

“I don’t think I need to explain about my bride’s family. You must have heard more than enough from my mother.”

Bianca couldn’t easily refute and nibbled on her lip. Soon, she picked up her cup to calm her excited mind.

After elegantly sipping her sweet milk tea, Bianca took a quiet deep breath as if preparing herself.

The large emerald earrings glittered brilliantly as if shattering. The gaze that met his was momentarily solemn.

“Just be a little honest today, okay? As you know, it’s my birthday, and I’m your oldest friend.”

What does your birthday have to do with me being honest?

Ansel was about to ask that thoughtlessly, but he swallowed the words and just tilted his chin as if to say ‘go on.’

After all, he had no intention of meeting separately in the future, so if this was to be the last birthday celebration, he was willing to play along this much.

“It wasn’t long after the Viscountess passed away that the Viscount remarried, right? How could that not bother you? Even I would dislike that. Such a young woman becoming your stepmother.”

Judging by her face as she spoke, it didn’t seem like an act.

If that was the case, then her getting along harmoniously with Viscount Monmouth’s wife like mother and daughter must be the act.

Whatever the case, women truly were remarkable beings.

Thinking this, he raised his cup again, and Bianca murmured softly.

“Don’t deceive me, at least. It hurts.”

“…”

Of course, he had no intention of deceiving her, but seeing a woman with hurt eyes, misunderstanding on her own, wasn’t particularly pleasant.

Although he wasn’t one to enjoy laying out the thoughts he kept to himself, Ansel decided to clarify things at this point.

To prevent further misunderstandings from spreading. Above all, it would be courteous to give what the other person wants as a last birthday gift.

“When I was young, I didn’t understand. But now, I think there’s nothing to misunderstand.”

“How did you come to understand?”

Bianca blinked repeatedly, asking back at the unexpected answer.

However, at his next words, she was so surprised she almost dropped her teaspoon.

“Because love comes suddenly.”

“…What?”

“It must have been irresistible, I suppose.”

Even though they knew a lot about each other, Ansel rarely shared his thoughts. He had been like that from the beginning.

The moment Bianca first saw Ansel, she felt strongly drawn to him, who seemed as lofty as if he had locked himself in a high tower.

Ansel was special. But as time passed, his indifference weighed on her heart.

She was curious about all of Ansel’s thoughts and feelings. She wanted to reach deep inside him.

Regarding him, Viscount Monmouth’s wife said it was the Blaine family trait, and people said he was born to be a soldier.

But even trying to think that way, it couldn’t be that he wasn’t lonely, suppressing his emotions alone. So she wanted to be the secret exception for Ansel, at least for herself.

“Ansel…”

But ironically, her feeling upon hearing his sincere answer for the first time wasn’t joy.

“Don’t tell me you really love that woman? Then that marriage too…”

“I told you.”

Ansel replied in his usual indifferent low voice and quietly drank his tea.

His straight eyebrows furrowed slightly as if to say ‘why are you asking something so obvious that it doesn’t need explanation?’, but his attitude remained elegant.

Bianca stared, as if entranced, at his hand, which would look graceful even holding a gun, as it placed the teacup back on the saucer.

Until that hand neatly interlocked fingers on the man’s long legs.

Ignoring the inexplicable dryness in her throat, Bianca said,

“Introduce me. I need to meet her in person and talk to believe it. If it’s true that you’ve fallen into such a reckless love…”

“That would be difficult.”

“Why?”

The woman who had never been denied anything she wanted in her life clung desperately to the one man she couldn’t have.

“If it’s true, there’s no reason you can’t introduce her to me! We’re…”

“Because I don’t want to create any situation that might upset her even a little.”

“How would meeting me…!”

Instead of answering, Ansel simply shrugged his broad shoulders.

The woman’s hands clenched tightly inside her soft turquoise satin gloves.

“Ha, is it because she’s a commoner? Afraid she might feel inferior to me?”

Even so, it wouldn’t be surprising. Bianca, the only daughter of Duke Talbot, was counted among the kingdom’s greatest beauties and only dealt with the finest things.

Whatever she chose, be it dresses, jewels, or even a single hair ornament, would become a topic of conversation.

Moreover, it was already a foregone conclusion that she would someday become a Viscountess and be active in political circles.

She was Bianca Talbot, said to intimidate even the kingdom’s princesses.

It wasn’t difficult to imagine the pressure and sense of deprivation that a country lady, lacking not only noble birth but even a decent dowry, would feel.

“I’ll send a dress and jewelry as a wedding gift. How about meeting her wearing those?”

“Your common sense doesn’t apply here, Bianca.”

“How do you know that?”

“She’s a completely different being.”

Ansel replied thus, checking his watch once more. His fine lips twisted slightly.

“You can come to the wedding. Mother will bring you anyway. So confirm it then. Of course, only from a distance.”

“Are you telling me not to even greet her?”

“I don’t want anything from the capital to taint her.”

“Ha……”

Though she thought it surely couldn’t be true, a sigh-mixed laugh escaped involuntarily.

To think that Ansel Blaine would say something that only men blinded by love would say. And for a woman from some nameless family, no less…

Just as her determination to uncover the full story of this inexplicable event deepened, Ansel quietly rose to his feet.

“……Are you leaving already?”

“Would you forgive me the rudeness of rising first, Lady Bianca.”

There was no helping it when faced with that splendid low voice that seemed like it could melt one’s eardrums at any moment.

“I suppose you wouldn’t stay even if I asked you to, Lord Ansel.”

Instead of answering, Ansel smiled faintly and promptly left the place.

Ansel Blaine must be the only one who would treat Bianca Talbot so dismissively.

Left alone, Bianca adjusted her hairstyle as if nothing had happened and finished the remaining tea.

Although she was surprised in many ways, she now looked more expectant than anxious.

The night of graduation, his words whispered in a husky voice at that boisterous party. And even that transparent gaze, Bianca remembered as vividly as if it were yesterday.

‘……Eyes.’

Hoo, with the teacup to her lips, the woman laughed like a small breeze.

Surely he didn’t expect her to believe him so easily. Why he went to such lengths is a matter that needs further investigation, but.

“What should I do, Ansel. I still need to see that woman.”

Bianca murmured in a sweet voice, setting down her cup with a fresh expression.

The sound of the teacup hitting the saucer rang out with a cheerful clink.