As If I've Never Loved - Chapter 10
“Eloise.”
“…..”
Those sapphire eyes were filled with light. A breath was involuntarily swallowed.
“Miss Bailey.”
At the casual continuation of his voice, Eloise suddenly raised her head.
Foolishly, she thought he had called her by name alone. Like he used to in childhood.
‘I waited.’
But now it was just a meaningless past, long forgotten. Trivial memories of childhood days he had already forgotten.
And she too would gradually forget.
“Hello.”
Eloise gently bent her knees in greeting. She kept her gaze lowered, not wanting to show her face which was sure to be embarrassingly flushed.
“What should we do? My sister and parents aren’t here right now.”
Fortunately, her voice came out quite composed. Now it was his turn.
‘Say you’ll come back another time. And leave. Please…’
But disappointingly, he stood motionless.
Though it was the height of a bright summer afternoon, only a cold silence hung between the two.
Unable to bear the situation, Eloise opened her lips again.
“My sister and parents aren’t here right now…”
“I’ll wait.”
“…Pardon?”
“I said I’ll wait.”
Was it her imagination? He seemed a bit angry.
An unexpected absence of his fiancée couldn’t be a pleasant thing, but…
Just then, the sound of a black horse tied to the garden fence snorting and stamping its feet was heard.
It seemed he had ridden here in haste without a carriage. The depth of his affection was no longer surprising.
‘He must be upset from coming all this way for nothing. How much he must have wanted to see her.’
Though he would never say, his true feelings were unknowable, but he was extremely cold.
It was the opposite of how he was with Sarah.
She thought she had grown somewhat used to his attitude of treating her like a complete stranger, but apparently not.
She bit her lip helplessly at the sorrowful feeling.
“May I wait inside.”
At that moment, Ansel added a word. Though the glorious season was in full bloom behind his back, his voice was as cold as ice.
She had no right to refuse this precious guest.
He must have known that too. So it was clear this was a demand.
Eloise rubbed the tip of her nose with the back of her hand for no reason.
In any case, she couldn’t leave him standing in the unsightly garden where duck feathers were scattered about indefinitely.
“Yes, of course.”
Eloise, who had barely managed to answer, hurriedly turned away lest she meet his eyes.
For a moment, she thought she heard a breath mixed with derision.
No, it must have been the wind.
She needed to quickly break the habit of being overly conscious of everything related to him. After all, he was going to marry her sister…
Eloise took a step inside, swallowing a silent sigh. Soon the door closed.
[This is the timeline separator]
Eloise led Ansel to the dining table.
Though it was an old table, thankfully it didn’t look too shabby thanks to the roses newly placed there that morning.
Of course, if he had found this old house and furnishings unpleasant, he wouldn’t have visited so frequently, so it was a meaningless thought.
But Eloise felt she had to think such things, or else…
Being alone with him in the quiet house, her head felt like it would burst from tension…
“They went to find fabric and said they’d be right back, so it shouldn’t take long.”
Though she tried to speak casually, her voice trembled unintentionally.
“Since they took the carriage, it should be faster than walking back.”
…Why did she add such a foolish remark?
Eloise tightly gripped the front of her faded poplin dress, bewildered.
The sharp sensation of her nails digging into her palm tightened her loosening mind.
But he acted as if he hadn’t even heard Eloise’s voice.
Without so much as a reply, let alone looking her way, he simply gazed indifferently at the flowers on the table.
No, Eloise couldn’t even tell if he was really looking at the flowers or if his eyes were closed.
Such an arrogant attitude was infuriating.
“I’ll bring you some tea right away. I’ll wake Mrs. Hurst…”
“That won’t be necessary.”
“…..”
Her unfinished words were swallowed up helplessly at the cold refusal, and her face flushed hot. It was because of the indignant feelings welling up in her chest.
Why is he being so harsh to me? Now that he’s engaged to my sister as planned, is someone like her sister not even worth paying attention to anymore?
‘But you’re a gentleman…’
No matter how she thought about it, she couldn’t understand such a frigid attitude.
It was laughable to have such doubts while desperately trying to avoid him.
That’s when it occurred to her. Suddenly, an uneasy suspicion rose like smoke.
Could it be that he had noticed the subtle emotions in her gaze when looking at him?
It was an emotion that should never have been harbored.
Not simply because there was no chance of it being realized. Now he was her sister’s…
But if he had really discerned her feelings, Ansel would have told the entire family out of contempt, and then some.
After all, he was the young master from a military family that valued principles and discipline.
‘Perhaps he just found my stammering and inability to meet his eyes properly to be unsightly. I would have felt the same.’
Whatever the case, one thing was important.
Just because she liked him didn’t mean she was willing to be treated so carelessly.
She wanted to confront him directly, but unable to do so, Eloise let out a faint sigh.
“So you’ll just wait like this? Alone and bored…”
“…..”
“…Fine, do as you please.”
As she said that and turned to go up to her room, his deep voice suddenly stopped her in her tracks.
“Play.”
Did I hear that wrong?
“Pardon?”
Her pale eyelashes trembled finely. His response froze her.
“It seems I’ve unintentionally interrupted, but why don’t you continue?”
“Why…”
“At least it won’t be boring.”
Is he mocking me?
Though not as skilled as her sister, the playing and singing that had filled the living room before he arrived was laughably poor.
“Ask my sister when she returns.”
Her head cooled with the bewildering feeling. Eloise added in a stiff tone.
“I’m sorry, but I have no intention of being a laughingstock.”
“…..”
There was no response.
Belated regret washed over her, feeling she had overreacted, but there was no taking back words already spoken.
Eloise squeezed her eyes shut and turned away weakly.
“…Then make yourself comfortable.”
“It seems I’m making you uncomfortable.”
“…..”
Her legs froze again at his words hitting the mark.
It felt as if he knew everything and was just playing games, that was the only anxious thought that came to mind.
‘But his voice seemed to waver a bit too…’
Was it my imagination? Looking down, he appeared utterly relaxed.
He must have liked the summer roses in the vase, as his white-gloved hand slowly caressed the open petals.
The back of his hair, black as night, remained impeccably neat.
Her stomach churned at his composed appearance, which made her own efforts to conceal her agitation seem pitiful.
“If you know that, then don’t come anymore. You should invite my sister instead.”
“That won’t do.”
He smiled. At the same time, Eloise’s brow twitched. It was because that smile was close to mockery.
“It wouldn’t be right to torment my fiancée.”
And those words sounded like nothing but saying he didn’t care about a woman who wasn’t his fiancée.
“If you know it’s uncomfortable, why…”
“To tell you this.”
“…..”
“Get used to it. I have no intention of changing my mind.”
He slowly rose.
“From now on, we’ll run into each other so often it will feel like we’re living in the same house. We might even end up actually living together.”
“…..”
What is he saying? Surely not that my parents and I would also be at Fairmont House…
“That look is too much, isn’t it? It’s all your family’s wish.”
“I don’t understand what you’re saying.”
At that moment, Ansel turned and met her gaze.
“It’s advice that you’d better prepare yourself mentally.”
“…..”
Her body stiffened, unable to move at his low voice that felt overbearing.
Yet his gaze was so terribly calm that she couldn’t even feel angry anymore.
He truly seemed to have no interest in anyone but Sarah.
Those proud eyes of one noble from birth, as if saying, “If it weren’t for the miraculously beautiful eldest daughter blooming in this unremarkable family, I wouldn’t even bother with the likes of you.”
‘Surely these are the same eyes I loved…’
Her head spun again. Love and hatred mixed together into a muddy mess.
Yet the thought of wanting to go to him and gently press her cheek against his made her feel like she was going mad.
It felt as if pressing their noses together playfully and meeting eyes like when they were young would elicit ticklish laughter, as if it had all been a joke and he would return to being the Ansel Blaine she knew.
Eloise was desperately clenching such turmoil in her heart. For fear it would all pour out the moment she opened her lips.
Meanwhile, the man’s beautiful eyes remained heavily sunken.
Though the color of a clear summer, Ansel was piercingly cold.
“Eloise, there’s a horse over there…”
As if a lie, the door opened and Sarah’s voice was heard at that moment. Belatedly noticing Ansel, her surprised voice continued.
“…Lord Ansel?”
“Oh my, Ansel!”
With Mrs. Bailey’s voice of undisguised delight added, the house finally became lively.
Ridiculously, it felt like salvation.
“Sit down, Ansel. Oh, Eloise! Where is Mrs. Hurst? Haven’t you even served tea yet?”
At her mother’s urging, Eloise took a deep breath.
The ominous pressure that had been floating in the air had already vanished without a trace. Eloise just wanted to rest now.
“I’ll wake the madam.”
Answering in a faint voice, the second daughter soon left the place as if fleeing.
*
Save yourself from story hunger — the novel below will blow your mind!
[su_service title=”Ex-husband Wants Reconciliation (Female-dominant)” icon=”icon: star-o” size=”16″][/su_service]
One-line summary: Chasing the wife to the crematorium (making an effort to attract someone who has become indifferent), the female lead doesn’t look back, the second male lead takes the position.
Intro:
To repay the kindness of the older generation, Su Mu crossed into a female-dominated world and became a live-in daughter-in-law of the Yan family, single-handedly saving the Yan family from fire and water.
But her husband, Yan Jiyue, the eldest son of the Yan family, treated her with sarcasm and never showed her a good face.
It wasn’t until after Su Mu’s death that this pampered and arrogant young master shed a few fake tears and pretended to want to die for love.
This life’s kindness was enough. If there was a next life, she would definitely kick Yan Jiyue away.
Who knew that the heavens would be so kind as to allow her to be reborn, returning to the time when she had just married into the Yan family.
Su Mu glanced at the Yan eldest son, who still spoke coldly to her, and threw a divorce letter in front of him.
“Let’s divorce!”
***
Yan Jiyue never imagined that he would be reborn. He happily went to find Su Mu, wanting to make up for the mistakes he had made in his ignorant youth.
Wasn’t the reason the heavens allowed him to be reborn to let him reconcile with Su Mu?
But when he pushed open the door to Su Mu’s room, the person lying on the bed was another man.
Su Mu’s personal attendant, Xie Yi.
Yan Jiyue hated him so much that his teeth itched. In front of Su Mu, Xie Yi was a gentle and considerate whisperer of sweet nothings, but in reality, he was vicious-hearted and deliberately sabotaged their husband and wife relationship.
In the previous life, it was he who secretly hid in Su Mu’s coffin and committed suicide, stealing a step ahead of him to be buried with Su Mu.
Yan Jiyue’s eyes were filled with hatred as he cursed, “What kind of thing are you? Your background is lowly, what right do you have to occupy Su Mu?”
Xie Yi looked at the sleeping Su Mu and no longer pretended to be a whisperer of sweet nothings.
He proudly stuck out his belly, “I have the right because my belly is capable of giving the Wife-master a daughter.”
***
Yan Jiyue was consumed with jealousy. He spread rumors that Xie Yi had once been branded with the mark of a “harlot” on his chest.
But on the night Xie Yi cut off the flesh bearing that mark, Su Mu suddenly realized something was amiss.
“How did you know the exact moment I was poisoned? And why did you show up a month early?”
Xie Yi remained silent, blood from his wound soaking through his robes. His sapphire eyes brimmed with anguish – or was it just a flawless act?
Between a once-arrogant husband now seeking redemption, and a gentle soul willing to die for her – who truly held the darkest secrets? And could it be that Su Mu and Yan Jiyue weren’t the only ones given a second chance at life…?
[Reading Guide]
1. True divorce, chasing the wife to the crematorium, the female lead doesn’t look back, the male lead is Xie Yi.
2. The ex-husband did not cheat, he just realized too late and didn’t realize that he liked the female lead.
_____
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