All My Firsts Are You (Completed Main Story) - Chapter 9
Ha Ru means “spring” in Japanese. From this short title alone, it felt as if the weight of time he had spent waiting for me and the depth of his longing were fully conveyed to me.
Just then, I heard footsteps approaching from behind. I quickly and roughly wiped my eyes. My already red and swollen eyelids stung even more under the rough touch.
Before the footsteps drew any closer, I hurriedly checked where Jun’s movie DVD was located. Fortunately, since it was a copy donated to the school, there was no duplicate—but a label clearly read, “Not available for loan / For in-library viewing only.” It could be viewed inside the library.
Not wanting others to see my flushed, tear-streaked face, I lowered my head deeply and hurriedly left the spot.
Arriving in a daze at the far-left bookshelf of the audiovisual room, I found Jun’s film, “Waiting for Spring.” I pulled out the copy wrapped in a label that read “Waiting for Spring,” and the cover immediately caught my eye. It featured only the back of a boy sitting in his school uniform.
It was Jun.
I gently traced my fingers over Jun’s image on the cover—desperate, somehow, to feel even a trace of his warmth this way.
Waiting for Spring…
I silently repeated the title once more in my mind—the title he must have carefully and thoughtfully chosen by himself. For just a brief moment, it felt as if the sweet fragrance of spring blossomed in my mouth.
It took me a remarkably long time just to insert the disc into the DVD player and press play.
I needed courage.
The courage to accept the memory of my first love as just that—a memory.
The courage not to waver before the brilliantly shining Jun of age twenty.
The courage to face my own failure—the fact that until now, I’d never once sought out this beautiful memory of our twenty-year-old youth preserved within this video.
Even during the moments the DVD player took to recognize the disc, I repeatedly pressed pause to calm my trembling heart, then pressed play again—over and over—until, at last, the first scene finally appeared on screen.
And from that very first scene, I had to tightly cover my mouth with both hands to keep from letting out sounds of sobbing.
On screen, Jun appeared, wearing a school uniform missing its second button, clutching that very button tightly in his hand as he gazed into the distance.
“Kim Jun, hurry up and come out! Are you coming out right now?”
The wooden house, soaked from last night’s rain, was basking in today’s unusually strong sunlight and releasing a rich, earthy scent of fallen leaves. I stood in Jun’s yard, sunlight pouring straight onto the top of my head.
I’d grown a bit bored waiting for Jun, so I closed my eyes tightly, lifted my head, and let the full intensity of the sunlight bathe my face.
“I’m coming now, okay?”
Just then, I jerked my head down at the sound of Jun’s voice echoing through the open air. My eyes instinctively squinted from the lingering afterimage of the bright light.
Seeing my squinted expression, Jun misunderstood and grumbled resentfully,
“I didn’t sleep until past 3 a.m. last night doing homework. And here I am, worried about you—someone who doesn’t even speak Japanese—so I’m going with you, and you’re acting all cranky?”
Jun came down the stairs, one hand stuffed into his pants pocket, the other fluttering the collar of his shirt—apparently bothered by the sudden heat contrasting sharply with the cool indoors.
“I’m not being cranky. The afterimage from the sun made my eyes squint. It’s just too bright.”
“What were you even doing?”
“…Staring at the sunlight?”
“Ugh, let’s just go. The supermarket’s that way.”
Jun broke off our odd conversation with a motion of his chin toward the left and started walking. Tossing a grumpy comment over his shoulder as he moved ahead,
“You seriously plan to walk all the way there?”
“Yeah, that’s exactly what I plan to do.”
“You must not realize how far it really is, probably because I always give you a ride on my bike. Do you even know how far it actually is from my house to there?”
Still groggy from yesterday’s exhaustion, Jun swept a hand through his hair and spoke in a sleepy tone.
“That’s why I said I’ll go alone.”
“But that doesn’t make me feel any better either.”
He’d complain, but he’d still end up coming with me anyway.
Apparently, whether he stayed home or came along, he’d feel uneasy either way—but choosing to come must have seemed like the better option to him.
I quietly smiled and stepped forward to walk beside Jun, who was now just two paces ahead.
After walking a bit, I saw plane trees lining the road as far as the eye could see. Their dense, leafy canopy was so thick that hardly any sunlight could filter through to the ground below.
Greedy trees, swallowing every ray before it even touched the earth.
I quickened my pace slightly, passing Jun with small but swift steps, walking almost as if I were running. Walking beneath the dappled sunlight—the light fractured into tiny beams along the veins of the green leaves—felt like walking alongside stars.
One step, then another, following the stars of midday.
Just then, Jun called out my name, and I stopped abruptly. I saw him jogging toward me at a quicker pace. Right as I tilted my head up to meet his height, Jun bent his body sharply downward. My gaze dropped along with his.
“Your sandal strap came undone again. It’s because your feet are so small but you’re wearing oversized sandals.”
Though his words sounded grumpy, his fingers gently retied the strap. Green-tinged sunlight settled softly on his hand.
“Then I should wear kids’ sandals. All the pretty ones start at size 230, you know.”
Without replying, Jun simply tightened the loose strap on the other sandal as well.
“Fine, fine. I’ll just watch your feet for you, then. Doesn’t seem that hard.”
His words—“I’ll just watch your feet for you”—sounded like he meant he’d look after even the parts I couldn’t watch over myself. And “doesn’t seem that hard” sounded as though feeling this way toward me came naturally to him—as though I mattered that much to him.
And so, my heart trembled—from the sudden weight of your unexpectedly tender care.
I looked down quietly at Jun’s head as he focused on my sandal straps. He straightened his posture and said,
“You’re not even that short, yet your feet are like a baby’s.”
“I’m not a baby.”
I rolled my feet slightly in place, feeling the snug pressure of the tightened straps around my ankles.
“Well, Lee Ha Ru’s definitely not a baby. But you’re always sneakily eyeing my lips. Honestly, I can’t even sleep comfortably at home these days.”
“Ugh. Hey, Kim Jun—when have I ever done that?”
I stepped toward him with an annoyed expression, but Jun quickly took large steps backward, swaying away from me.
Jun burst into laughter. Whether it was from the sunlight or just his naturally radiant face, his eyes shone brilliantly.
I narrowed my eyes slightly, pretending the brightness of the sun was blinding me, and smiled.
After passing through the avenue of plane trees, the road opened up along the coastline. True to its seaside village setting, the view stretched wide and open—no tall buildings anywhere, just an expanse of blue ocean beneath a vast, clear sky.
Jun and I walked side by side along the coastal road. The unrestrained sea breeze blew so freely that, for a moment, I almost believed I could leap into the air and fly.
Soon enough, we spotted a very long foot bath with a distinctive orange border. According to Jun, this unusually lengthy foot bath—stretching along the direction the ocean flowed—was an impressive 105 meters long.
The foot bath curved gently along the oceanfront path, so you could plop down anywhere along its length, dip your feet right in, and gaze out at the sea.
“Is this really a foot bath? It almost looks like a stream—it’s so long.”
“Maybe they built it extra long so people wouldn’t fight over seats.”
“Really…?”
“No way.”
I paused briefly and shot Jun a sideways glance. He let out a soft chuckle at the look in my eyes.
“I want to try it—just once.”
Even though I hadn’t said I’d take off my clothes or anything, Jun raised his eyebrows and asked, “Seriously?” I gave a quick nod and found a suitable spot. I took off my sheer tights and rolled them up tightly into my sandals.
The foot bath looked so still it was hard to tell whether the water was flowing or standing still. Its temperature couldn’t be guessed from sight alone. Without much thought, I pushed my foot into the water.
“Whoa, whoa!”
I yanked my foot back out immediately after submerging it to the ankle, unable to go deeper. The sudden recoil made me stumble the moment my foot hit the ground. Fortunately, Jun, standing right beside me, swiftly caught my shoulders and helped me regain balance.
“You okay?”
“Just… give me a sec.”
I quickly lifted my sole to inspect it—until I checked, I couldn’t be sure if I was alright. Thankfully, though redder than I’d imagined, it didn’t seem seriously harmed. When I smiled sheepishly and said I was fine, Jun let out an exasperated sigh and shook his head.
Jun and I sat perched on the edge of the foot bath. After a quiet moment, Jun finally spoke.
“Lee Ha Ru, but did you know something?”
“Hmm?”
“They say that if you walk from here all the way to the end of this foot bath, you’ll find a love that will never fade.”
He pointed toward the unseen far end of the foot bath as he spoke.
It must be a local superstition, something unique to this area. Either way, it didn’t require deeper thought—the answer was already clear in my heart.
“Really? Then I’d rather have a love that fades someday.”
If you’d actually gone in there even once, you wouldn’t say things like that. That saying probably exists precisely because eternal, unfading love is nearly impossible.
At my unexpected reply, Jun’s eyes widened briefly before he gave a soft, understanding smile. Then, without pressing further, he said,
“Alright. Then should we go? Are your feet really okay?”
He looked down at my feet with gentle concern.
But in that instant, something ached inside my chest—and immediately, I realized why.
It must have been because of the careless words I’d just spoken without thinking.
Even if it was just puppy love, I’d just acted as if I saw our love as nothing more than a midday dream destined to fade someday.
Regret weighed heavily on my heart for saying something so thoughtless. I bit down hard on my inner lip, adjusted my posture again, and turned my body slightly inward—toward the water, not away from it. Jun’s puzzled voice touched my back.
“What are you doing?”
“I want to try it properly this time.”
“Huh?”
Ignoring his question, I sat on the wooden edge, recalling my earlier experience, and this time slowly dipped in my big toe first. Gradually, I parted the water with my toes, letting myself slowly acclimate to the heat.
Once a pleasantly warm sensation began spreading from my toes, I lowered both feet fully into the water. Now accustomed to the temperature, a gentle warmth flowed through my soles. Deciding it felt safe enough, I lifted my skirt slightly and submerged both legs completely.
Perhaps because the water had pooled in the same spot for so long, the bottom of the foot bath was slicker than I’d expected. As I stepped forward a few paces, tensing my toes to avoid slipping, Jun called my name.
“Lee Ha Ru.”
“Yeah.”
I didn’t bother turning around. Focused on taking each step carefully, I heard Jun’s voice again near my ear.
“Who are you going to have that kind of love with?”
Turns Out He’s Been Secretly in Love with Me
One-line summary: He acts like he doesn’t like her but is actually playing hard to get.
Synopsis:
Xu Muzhou like her. He has liked her for a very long time, and through repeated schemes, he finally closed the distance with her.
But this is still far from enough.
He wants to be the one who stands out among her many suitors, to fight for her attention, and to make her take the initiative to pursue him.
_____
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