“Yes, the opposite. Being introverted means you take the time to feel and understand someone’s heart and emotions before speaking. You prepare to approach them slowly.”
My heart began to race. I involuntarily took a deep breath.
Hoping that inhaling the stillness of the night would calm the pounding in my chest.
“So, you hesitate and become cautious before speaking. But I think I’d definitely watch a program with a scriptwriter like that. The guests might reveal more of their inner truths. They’d have seen your sincerity as a scriptwriter.”
In that moment, I had a realization.
Despite his nonchalant tone, Jun was carefully observing the changes in my expression, wrapped in the humid air, with the distant sound of crickets in the background.
I knew I would never forget this scene, this moment.
“I hadn’t thought of it that way before.”
“Maybe you saw being introverted as a disadvantage.”
The words Jun casually dropped felt heavy to me. I didn’t dislike their weight; it was, after all, the weight of warmth in my heart.
“Ah, I have a question too.”
Jun shifted his gaze from the garden back to me and nodded lightly.
“You mentioned shooting a movie in a school uniform. Can I ask what it’s about? Oh, but you don’t have to answer.”
He waved his palms from side to side as if to say no pressure. Jun suddenly burst into laughter, bowing his head.
“Ah, sorry. You’re the first person to ask me that question so cautiously. It’s not something to be so apologetic about.”
Realizing my mistake, I rolled my lower lip into my mouth, and Jun glanced at me briefly. He reassured me, saying that my reaction was just so like me and told me not to worry about the smile he had shown a moment ago, perhaps out of concern for my embarrassment.
Somehow, his words put me at ease.
“I haven’t decided on a title yet, but I have a theme. Something I haven’t done yet.”
“Something you haven’t done?”
Jun, who had been capturing the night-engulfed garden with his gaze, turned his eyes towards me.
“First love.”
“Ah…….”
“It’s been half a year since I turned twenty, and I still haven’t experienced it. If it goes on like this, who knows when I’ll ever experience it. So, I decided to try shooting it first.”
“……Why not just experience love, not just in a movie?”
“Can you love if there’s no one to love?”
I was at a loss for words. He must have meant that since he had never felt the emotion of first love and couldn’t, he wanted to understand it by making a movie.
“You really are introverted.”
“……What?”
“Your face says it all. Did I say something unnecessary? I was wondering what to do if I made you feel uncomfortable.”
“Ah…….”
Ridiculously, I couldn’t easily refute that.
“There was nothing to apologize for at that moment.”
His faint smile at the end of his sentence seemed to make the air inside the living room gently warm and fuzzy.
It was then. Jun, who had quickly moved close to my face, spoke softly.
“If you’re sorry, then why don’t you teach me about love?”
Frozen, I couldn’t say anything in response to Jun.
“There’s a line in the movie, ‘[Dash].’ It’s a line I wrote myself.”
Jun smirked as if it was all just a joke and then put some distance between us.
But the aftereffect he left on me did not fade easily.
“About the question you asked earlier.”
“Ah, yes…….”
“I don’t have someone I’m in love with right now, but when I want to feel the emotion of loving someone passionately, I think making a movie might be the most effective way.”
“Ah…….”
“The reason I ended up acting in the movie I’m shooting now was purely to reduce the budget. But from the start, my intention was to capture that emotion through film. To capture it as delicately as possible, not missing even the emotions hidden in the corners.”
“That really resonates. The phrase ‘even the emotions hidden in the corners.’ It sounds like you really want to experience that kind of love.”
“……But you.”
“Yes?”
I felt some emotion in Jun’s words just now, but I couldn’t quite grasp what it was.
“What do you think about first love?”
“……What?”
“Do you think first love is just the first time you fall in love? That there’s no need for it to be intense or poignant. That it’s all just something that will pass anyway.”
“No, I don’t think that way.”
As a decisive response flowed from my usually hesitant lips, Jun opened his slightly and kept his gaze on me.
A phrase he must have heard too often from someone he met before. But a phrase he might not have wanted to believe. My simple negation of that phrase might have felt to him like hope or emotion of some kind.
“People often describe first love as clumsy, fresh, youthful, like an unripe feeling. But I think of it differently. It’s the first and only time you can fully and purely hold someone else in your heart, based on nothing but the emotion of love.”
It might have been my imagination, but Jun’s gaze seemed to waver slightly as he looked at me.
Perhaps emboldened by this, I unknowingly placed my right hand gently on Jun’s chest and said,
“It’s a bit sad that there’s still no one in this pure and warm heart that believes in the sincerity of first love.”
That moment.
“Oh?”
Feeling the intense vibration transmitted through the palm of my hand, I detached my hand from Jun’s chest. I quietly drew my hand, which had clearly felt Jun’s heartbeat, towards my own chest.
“……It’s because you suddenly touched me.”
“Ah…… Sorry. I did it without realizing.”
The air, which had been softly relaxed, seemed to grow heavy again. While I hesitated over what to say next, Jun was the first to speak.
“It’s late. I’ll take you to your room.”
“No, it’s okay.”
“It seemed like you weren’t okay just a moment ago.”
In fact, if he told me to go up alone now, I would have no choice but to climb up using my hands or hop up on one foot.
“Do you want to walk, or should I carry you?”
“……”
“It’s not a flirtation. Look at your foot.”
“Ah, I’ll just…”
“If you won’t give me a proper answer, I’ll just do as I see fit.”
“What?”
Before I could respond, I felt my body being lifted. Once again, being in Jun’s arms felt warm and comforting. So much so, that I wanted to stay there longer.
If only my heart wouldn’t beat so uncontrollably.
Jun walked towards my room. Unsure of what to do, I hesitated before gently grasping the hem of Jun’s shirt. Jun let out a soft laugh.
Turns Out He’s Been Secretly in Love with Me
One-line summary: He acts like he doesn’t like her but is actually playing hard to get.
Synopsis:
Xu Muzhou like her. He has liked her for a very long time, and through repeated schemes, he finally closed the distance with her.
But this is still far from enough.
He wants to be the one who stands out among her many suitors, to fight for her attention, and to make her take the initiative to pursue him.
_____
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