Your gaze that briefly hovered around my eyes then dropped down again. I was getting angry again. Angry because of you, who makes it impossible for me to vent my feelings. Because I wanted to wrap my arms around your slightly shaking shoulders.
In this house, full of memories with you, now we’re forced to have such conversations.
I bit my lower lip. A deep sigh swallowed down my throat made my heart feel even more suffocating.
“It’s been a while since you left me. Still wondering whether we broke up or what.”
“……It’s a story that needs an explanation, isn’t it?”
“Thinking that saying the same thing differently will change its meaning?”
Haru’s eyes flickered faintly. Her gaze still couldn’t lift to my face, it made me uneasy.
Sigh…… Haru.
Even now, I feel like I could go mad with hatred for you. Asking why you left me like this. Did you ever think about what would happen to me after you left? Were all those moments when you told me you loved me in my memories just lies?
I wanted to grab your chin, force you to look into my eyes, and unleash all these questions, regardless of how much you might come to hate me for it.
……But why do I feel like you’d get hurt? You gave me such terrible wounds, yet why does it seem like you’d be the one in pain? I really don’t understand these damned feelings.
“What are you looking at? You haven’t answered yet.”
“……Oh, the answer.”
Startled by Haru’s pointed tone, I finally came to my senses. I’m not facing the you from my memories who used to say you loved me, but you who now have no feelings for me at all.
“You said you want to work on a screenplay with me because you want to break up. You haven’t explained it properly yet.”
……Right. That’s what happened.
“I know it might sound pathetic. That I still…”
I couldn’t bring myself to utter the next words. The words that I hadn’t forgotten you. Words that would only further diminish the love that already didn’t exist for me. Words that would make me, already pitiful for standing in front of you, even more pitiful.
Unconsciously trying to hide my pitifulness, every word I threw out was spiked.
“I never got the chance to hate you to my heart’s content. You just disappeared without a word.”
“Sigh…….”
“I haven’t finished explaining yet. If you don’t want to hear it, just leave now.”
“……I’ll hear it. It’s not about whether I want to or not. Not for me.”
“You don’t feel obliged to listen, do you?”
“……No. I’ll listen, all the way.”
I felt a bit helpless seeing you still avoiding my gaze. Saying I wanted to hate you as much as I wanted felt empty, like a bluff. It was meaningless. These feelings of mine, they no longer matter to you.
“More precisely, I wanted to say I want to break up with your memory. The one who is left remembers more vividly, detail by detail.”
“……You want to break up with those memories.”
“Why, isn’t it the same for you? Are my words too exaggerated, as if there’s nothing left to even call a memory?”
“No. I heard it right, and I understood.”
“That’s good.”
“So, what can I do for you? I understand everything, but why do you want to write a screenplay with me when we share the same memory?”
“No, you still don’t get it. My feelings.”
You don’t know how I’ve felt these 9 years. What my heart was like when I made that movie. You really don’t know anything…
“We’ll write separate screenplays. That’s why I said I needed your help. Specifically, your true feelings back then. That’s what I need.”
“…….”
“I want to remember again with your true feelings in those memories. Your real feelings when you were mocking me, hopelessly hung up on my first love, while telling me you loved me.”
“Kim Jun.”
“What.”
“You really….”
“Haru. I didn’t know you could get angry.”
“……I never once mocked you, not during the time you loved me.”
“Easy to say.”
“It’s not just a casual remark.”
“It doesn’t seem like something you, who left me without a word and showed up 9 years later, should be saying.”
“…….”
The sharp words I’m hurling at you seem to be pointed at me too. Despite my true intention to hurt you at least a little, the fact that I feel a sharp pain in my throat shows otherwise.
“I can understand your feelings back then, when you had lost feelings for me but couldn’t say it.”
“It’s not that…….”
“I need to know properly. Everything about those days we spent together.”
“…….”
“This is my only condition. I’m not trying to put on airs. Using my name to promote the program won’t hurt. Use it as much as you want.”
“…….”
“But this time, don’t run away. If you have even a little bit of remorse for those memories.”
If you have even a little bit of remorse for me.
……So now, it’s my turn to betray those memories.
When male lead is the homewrecker
“I know she doesn’t love him.”
I’ve read the novel below twice already. Girls, I’m highly recommending it to you!
The female lead? Not a good person.
The second male lead? Not a good person.
The male lead? Willingly plays the third party, breaking up the female and second male lead’s relationship despite all the warnings from his friends—so yeah, he’s definitely not a good person either.
Basically, nobody in this novel is simple-minded or without scheming.
The female lead starts off as the male lead’s secretary, but don’t worry—later on, she takes over the company while the male lead steps back to support her. He won’t steal her spotlight, overshadow her, or dull her shine.
I love novels where men are out here snatching wigs, tearing each other down, and going to war just to win the female lead’s affection. And this is exactly that kind of novel. Most of Hai Dai Ran’s works have this dynamic. You’ll see the male characters’ emotions being pushed to the absolute extreme.
There’s even a scene where the second male lead exposes the male lead online for being a homewrecker. The brotherhood immediately gangs up on him, dragging him through the mud. I find it compelling —it completely flips reality on its head, where usually, women are the ones fighting over a man and getting torn apart by the sisterhood.
For me, female leads in the novels I read should only struggle in their careers, not in love. But if the brainless romantics in the story are all men? I have zero complaints.
I’ve pretty much read all of Hai Dai Ran’s novels and even translated all of them—her works are just my thing. I’ll slowly upload everything here. One day, when my website is official, I hope I can invite her to join as one of the star authors.
Here’s the story synopsis:
One-line summary: She is his lifelong obsession, to the point where he was willing to be a third wheel, scorned by society, just to wedge his way into her relationship with her fiancé.
Cold-hearted and indifferent female lead + Scheming and subservient CEO male lead
Intro 1:
“I know she doesn’t love him.”
With blood trickling from his clenched fist, Rong Xiu gazed at the woman before him, his eyes clouded with anguish. Hidden in the wardrobe, he had witnessed Fan Xia – the woman he desperately loved – in an intimate embrace with her fiancé. Yet his heart still yearned for her, defying all reason.
Fan Xia, the elegant and composed assistant, carried something mysterious in her eyes whenever she looked at her fiancé, Wen Lan Sheng. Strange occurrences began to surface – secret meetings with the young Gu Jin Yi, an unexplained withdrawal of 5,000 yuan… Then suddenly, her fiancé’s sister, Wen Jing, violently attacked her.
In this matriarchal society, Rong Xiu had risen to become the chairman of a powerful healthcare conglomerate, breaking through gender prejudices. But for the first time, he willingly stepped into the shadows as the other man, disregarding his friends’ warnings to become her secret lover.
Because he had discovered the truth – Fan Xia wasn’t the pure angel everyone believed her to be. And perhaps, he was the only one capable of helping her execute her mysterious plan…
Intro 2:
Rong Xiu’s biggest regret in life was missing out on Fan Xia.
He secretly loved Fan Xia for 7 years.
Watched her go public with her boyfriend.
Watched her kiss her boyfriend at their wedding.
Until that man blissfully nestled in Fan Xia’s arms, obtaining everything he could only dream of.
The crazy jealousy stripped away his hidden secret love, layer by layer, burning like wildfire.
Fan Xia, how can I have you!
【Reading and Trigger Warning Guide】
1. Female dominant, male submissive, male pregnancy
2. Male lead schemes his way to the top, male competition
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Please help me, I want to bring you the best possible things.
If you find any chapter or novel with poor translation and editing quality, let me know by commenting directly under that novel or chapter. I will retranslate it as soon as possible.
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