“Don’t answer again. Don’t avoid it again. You’ve always been like this. Just afraid and crying. Ironically, you never tried to know that difficult time. You never tried to feel it……. So, 9 years ago and even now, you consistently hurt me. Endlessly.”
Jun, no. It’s not like that… I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry…
However, I couldn’t convey all these words because my throat choked. I know I shouldn’t just cry irresponsibly. Even though I know that my current appearance will only bring disappointment to you, but…
At that moment, a loud bell sound echoed from the backpack on my shoulder without any warning.
“…What are you doing? Answer the phone.”
The issue isn’t the call right now. I just tilted my head while crying.
“You fool. It’s over now, so don’t just stand there blankly. Answer the phone quickly.”
I didn’t want to, I didn’t want to right now, and I was about to shake my head more vigorously to express that.
As I turned my head sharply to the left, my eyes opened brightly. The tulip-shaped lamp hanging on the ceiling began to come into view as my faint vision cleared. Turning my eyes to the side, I saw a familiar table and sofa.
So, this is our house, and the place I was lying down was on the sofa…
Then, was I just dreaming until now…? Was meeting Jun a dream too…?
At that moment, the bell sound I heard in the dream vividly echoed. I was dumbfounded by the reality that oddly overlapped with the situation in my dream. The bell sound, ignoring my situation, continued to ring endlessly.
Without examining the context before and after, I hastily picked up the phone lying on the floor. Jun’s name filled the rectangular screen.
As my hand approached the screen, it stopped midway. At that moment, I recalled. Jun’s appearance in the dream where he sobbed as if his whole body would collapse. His appearance, even though he poured out painful words harshly, seemed fragile as if he would crumble under those words.
It was a dream, but Jun’s lingering presence was clear, and the lingering discomfort near my heart was vivid.
Then, I collected myself. Jun’s words, always telling me that I always avoid things, were creating ripples inside me. I decided not to ignore that resonance.
Still in the sensation that seemed to be standing on a dark street, I pressed the call button.
[This is Jun. I called several times, but you’re answering now.]The tension that had gripped my whole body from the affectionate voice coming from the now unsealed phone slowly eased, giving a feeling of relaxation.
“Ah… Sorry. I must have dozed off. On the sofa.”
[It would be nice, that sofa.]“Huh? What are you talking about…?”
[Aren’t you right next to it now, that sofa.]At the unexpected response, I chuckled quietly, unable to make a sound. To my teasing about whether that was enviable, a confident reply came, saying, “Wouldn’t I have something more enviable than that?”
But that ease was short-lived. Even the smile that lingered on my lips couldn’t be free from the weight of my heart. The corners of my mouth showed a blank expression under that weight.
Jun’s words poured out incessantly in my dream, shedding tears all over me. Even the trembling tone of his voice.
“Jun…”
[Yes.]The clear and affectionate voice that seemed to harbor no resentment momentarily shook me. However, I didn’t want to rely on that tremor as usual.
“Really painful.”
“You’ve been through a lot. For 9 years. Until we met again. A lot.”
[…….]There was no response over the phone. In the moment when waiting turned into anxiety, Jun’s faint laughter could be heard.
“Oh. It was painful. Really, extremely painful. You have to say it explicitly.”
The rising heat from my throat was felt, so I held my breath. Words were painful, and the meaning of the words was even more painful. A kind word, seemingly without a hint of reproach, made me self-reproach even more.
“But, it’s really strange.”
“…What?”
Afraid that tears might mix in with my brief and insincere words, Jun laughed softly and began to weave his sincerity one by one.
“If you’re with me, I don’t think of that pain at all. Not at all. So, you have to always be by my side. Never say we’re going to part again. Every time you say that, I go back into that painful time again.”
“…….”
“It really changes in the blink of an eye like that. So, please don’t say such things. Never again. Just be by my side. That’s all I need.”
Jun once again replaced all answers with words about how good it is for me to be by his side instead of talking about his pain.
I tried to hold back my tears, afraid of what he might say if I cried again, but it didn’t work out as my heart desired. Tears that had been slowly welling up around my eyes now flowed uncontrollably down my cheeks.
I tried to stifle the sobbing sound, covering my lips, but it was an impossible task in front of Jun.
“Haah, Ihahru. You’re starting to cry again. Haru, please, don’t cry when we’re apart like this. There’s nothing I can do. Haru…”
Now, Jun, who was endlessly affectionate, was annoying. It would be nice if I could get angry at times like this. If I did, I might be able to lighten the burden on my heart just a little. But Jun didn’t allow even that.
Jun was always that kind of person to me.
…I have to go meet Jun.
Male lead is a Divorced Husband
She said to him: “Tell me, what makes you like me? I’ll change it!”
Liu Changning transmigrated into a female cannon fodder character in a female-dominant novel.
After reading the first half of the novel’s plot, the first thing she did upon transmigration was to divorce the Pan Jinlian-style male protagonist she had just married.
She indulged herself, pretending to be ugly and poor.
But as time passed, the way that man looked at her became more and more unusual…
Liu Changning was dumbfounded: Tell me, what makes you like me? I’ll change!
――
This lifetime, Pei Yuanshao was rejected by the same woman twice!
The first time, she drove him away. Forced by the situation, he endured the waves of anger in his heart, yielding and humbling himself.
That person lay slanted on a rocking chair, her sallow face emotionless: “If you don’t want a divorce, go cook!”
Pei Yuanshao’s face was dark and gloomy: “You!”
The second time, after the crisis in Jinling City was resolved, the new emperor sent someone to pick him up. He turned around, stammering: “I… I have to go. If you keep me…”
That person lay on the kang bed, her back to him, as if she had long anticipated this day, crisp and clear: “Goodbye!”
Pei Yuanshao was so angry his fingers trembled: “You… you!”
The mission of family and country made him restrain himself, averting his eyes and turning to leave this broken household.
Two years later, they met again. Seeing her ethereal face, his body shook like a sieve.
“She was originally a ‘she’!”
At the Qionglin Banquet, the top scholar of the imperial examination, a talented person with exceptional speech and conduct, all the unmarried young gentlemen from aristocratic families looked at her with shy and timid eyes.
The peerless imperial official Pei Yuanshao felt the anger in his heart erupt. He pointed at the woman surrounded by the crowd at the Qionglin Banquet, his thin lips slightly curled: “Little sister, I wants that person to be the wife-master of my Mingde Prince Manor.”
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