I thought it would be okay since I had heard from Writer Seo. Since I hadn’t properly heard anything due to various circumstances, I thought I could wait calmly.
I hoped for Haru to sincerely reach out to me soon. For that sincerity he had hidden in a place I had yet to touch. I only hoped for that. That’s why, even if Haru came and said we should break up first, I truly thought I would be okay.
I thought I would be okay…
The moment I pressed the message window with Haru’s name, I was trembling as I read down, recalling the meanings contained in each letter and word. The familiar sensation of being abandoned again, just like nine years ago, started to captivate me instantly.
The thought that Haru’s words couldn’t be sincere grew for a moment, only to lose its presence like a burst balloon with a hole in it.
It seemed like I was deluding myself into thinking that I loved the current me due to the memories of loving Jun at the age of twenty. Now, I wanted to part not only with myself but also with the memories of that time at the age of twenty.
The word “breakup,” a request to let go.
Every time I recalled it, it felt like all the letters forming this sentence rushed toward my chest, making a dull sound as they fell, repeatedly going through this process again and again.
As if my chest was trying to see how long it could endure, watching the tattered heart as it continued to deteriorate.
When Haru pressed the words accumulated in my chest to chew on them, the letters, as if waiting, buoyantly rose and ruthlessly struck my chest.
I felt the pain rising from deep within my chest, accompanied by a breathless sensation. The corners of my eyes started to feel hot, as if they were touched by fire.
Despite needing to open the interview room door, my chest, about to burst with rough breaths, swallowing and swallowing again, wouldn’t calm down.
The moment I grabbed the doorknob, the tears I had confined finally started to flow down my cheeks.
Sigh…
Hastily, I turned the direction the shoe pointed towards the back emergency exit. The tears that had started to come down once couldn’t be stopped, flowing down unreservedly.
As soon as I opened the emergency exit and entered, I leaned against the door, shaking my head, and spat out all the remaining tears.
In front of Haru’s words of parting, I, in a single breath, returned to the me of that day nine years ago.
Perhaps the pain of that day had permeated every bone and joint. The moment I returned to the me of that day, those intense pains began to upheave my whole body without restraint.
It’s frightening. Experiencing the loss of another day again. A kind of experience I never wanted to go through again, never wanted to recall…
I sighed deeply, wishing for all these emotions to drain away. Until I directly heard those words from Haru. Please, stop this.
It’s impossible. The scars left by the nine years I endured have deeply embedded themselves in my chest, too deep to heal with light words telling me to calm down.
In fact, it was familiar. This sensation. The feeling that everything, including myself, was being eroded by water. A feeling of being unable to breathe even when breathing.
It was as if everything was starting to lose its sense of reality, just like something dropped into a room without gravity. Or maybe, this might be an instinctual creation, hoping that what Haru just said isn’t real.
The memory of being abandoned once still lingered within me as a sensation rather than reason. The moment Haru expressed the desire to leave me, it felt as if my entire body started to overturn, as if waiting for it.
Come to think of it, it’s the first time. I’ve never heard these words from you. The words of parting. Saying we can’t remain as lovers because I don’t love.
My love is meaningless to you.
But you know… Haru, no. I really can’t. Without you, I can’t, I’m nothing. I can’t do it. So please…
The words of parting instantly dragged me back to that day nine years ago.
I hurriedly tried to find a way to rebuild the collapsing me, but then and now, I could never figure it out.
“Should we talk more, or should we stop here?”
Whenever tears were about to flow down a little, I hurriedly wiped them away. However, despite my efforts, the eyelids that had already shed tears didn’t look intact.
In the end, pretending to search for something on the desk, I turned my body as if trying to ignore the gaze reaching me, but such a sight didn’t look natural to Jun’s eyes.
“Is there more to say, or should we stop here, or…”
At that moment, I took a deep breath.
“This time, do you want to walk through that person’s pain together? I thought it might be good to try that once.”
Jun’s pain…
It felt like a stinging pain around the eyes settling into the chest.
I nodded in understanding. However, my unwillingness to look into Jun’s pain was even more evident in this small gesture.
“I can’t possibly understand everything about that person’s heart. It was the final interview day for Jihoon and Minseo when you sent that breakup message.”
Right, that’s how it was. That’s why Jun tried to send the breakup message in sync with their schedule.
“That day, you met Jihoon and Minseo in the corridor.”
“Ah, right…”
“Yeah. But at that time, their expressions were a bit strange.”
Jung-eun began to reminisce with a frown.
“Well, usually when people who have just finished a big interview finally relax, they either chatter away or express regrets like, ‘Why did I say that when I asked if you did well on the interview?’ But those people walked out slowly, and their expressions seemed quite awkward. Still, at that time, I didn’t think much and casually greeted them, asking if the interview went well.”
Jung-eun’s words were audible, but it felt like my body was flying away to a distant place and fading away. In a heavy and dull state, I struggled to follow Jung-eun’s words until the end.
Male lead first thought she played hard to get, only to realize she
really disliked him
Short intro:
What she can’t stand the most is the streets full of effeminate men, especially that so-called top beauty whom she avoids at all costs.
Shen Yaoxing looks at Jiang Mingyue, who keeps approaching her with coy shyness.
Shen Yaoxing: Bro, don’t be like this, I’m really about to throw up!
She fears nothing in heaven or earth, except for him getting close to her.
*
At first he thought she was just using the trick of feigning indifference to attract his attention. Later, he learned that she truly despised him.
This dealt a heavy blow to Jiang Mingyue, and he vowed to make her, like everyone else, fall at his feet in worship!
***
Synopsis:
Before transmigrating, Shen Yaoxing only wanted to find a reliable man to spend her life with. Who knew that after transmigrating, she would become a reliable woman herself…
A forced misandrist, highly skilled, and reliable female lead
vs.
An initially aloof and arrogant, later morbid, obsessed male lead
_____
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