There was nothing wrong with what he said.
What Lucas had just said was one of the things I had been telling myself to steel my heart.
The engagement with Kaern was a political one, so I shouldn’t go any further.
He doesn’t have feelings for me, so I should step back.
Hearing from someone else the words I used to suppress my own feelings felt unpleasant and somewhat, or rather, very sad.
‘It seems that’s how others see it too.’
But even so, Lucas shouldn’t have said those things to me.
The reason I had never heard such words before was that no one had dared to say them to me directly.
Talking about someone else’s engagement in such a way is lacking in nobility and decency, and it’s disrespectful. He had no right to do so.
Therefore, I had no intention of agreeing with Lucas’s rude words and behavior.
Even if his words might become true soon, I didn’t want to admit it at that moment.
“No, that’s not it.”
“……What did you say?”
“Who says it’s a political engagement? Who says there are no feelings? That’s absolutely not true.”
“……So it’s real?”
“I can’t speak for the duke, but for me, it’s real. So I have absolutely no feelings to give to you.”
This was a stark truth, a sentiment of mine that had never been revealed to anyone else.
Being my first time voicing such emotions, my words came out more vehemently.
But even so, I held my mind firmly, quickly drawing a line regarding Kaern’s feelings in case of future developments.
“Ha…”
Lucas let out a deep sigh with a look of defeat.
I, too, having had a similar experience of unrequited love, looked at him empathetically for a moment before coming back to my senses.
Then I suddenly realized that quite a bit of time had passed.
“Should we go back now? I think we’ve been away for too long.”
“Huh? Oh, but…”
“Lucas, just as your feelings are important to you, I also want my feelings to be respected. So let’s end this conversation here.”
“I, I…”
Lucas seemed to be quite shocked that I had feelings for Kaern and was struggling to articulate his words.
“Then, I hope we can greet each other as friends the next time we meet.”
“Ah, wait, Helena!”
Seizing the opportunity to leave, I turned to go, but Lucas called out to me urgently.
I stopped and looked back at him.
“Maybe when, I don’t know when, but if your feelings for Duke Laverion fade, could you consider my confession then?”
‘There will never be a day when my feelings for Kaern fade.’
I left without saying another word to him, not wanting to engage in further conversation.
‘This is tough.’
I went out for a break, but instead, I felt drained.
I wanted to go home and rest.
Too many emotionally taxing things had happened today.
I’ll tell Kaern I’m not feeling well and need to go back.
He should let me go if I say I’m tired.
Technically, I didn’t need his permission, but it didn’t seem right not to inform him since he accompanied me.
So, thinking I should properly say goodbye, I headed back to the banquet hall to find Kaern.
But just as I was nearing the banquet hall, I heard a familiar voice.
“Helena? Is that you, Helena?”
‘That voice is…’
It was a voice I hadn’t heard in a long time.
I turned towards where the sound was coming from.
“Evelyn?”
“Helena, it is you. How have you been?”
Evelyn asked with a smile, happy to see me.
“Yes, I’ve been well. Have you been okay, Evelyn? It’s been so long.”
“I’ve been good too. Is this the first time we’ve met since graduation from the academy?”
“Yes. I heard you went on a trip far away right after graduation, so I couldn’t contact you.”
“You did well. Even if you had sent a letter, I probably wouldn’t have been able to reply. It was hard to even receive letters from my family. But fortunately, I returned to the country just before the banquet started, so at least I could see you.”
“Yeah, it’s nice to see you, even if it’s just by chance.”
As we chatted and caught up on each other’s news, Evelyn suddenly smiled as if she had thought of something amusing.
“By the way, I heard Adelia got married?”
“Yes, she did. She married Calix Creighton, just as she wanted.”
“I knew it would happen. So they finally got married.”
Seeing Evelyn’s cheerful smile, I felt a pang of guilt.
If things had gone as originally planned in the story, Calix was supposed to end up with Evelyn, the female protagonist of the novel.
However, my minor interventions completely changed the course of the story.
Calix ended up liking Adelia instead of Evelyn.
Because of that, I always felt uncomfortable whenever I saw Evelyn.
‘I’m sorry, Evelyn.’
As always, I silently apologized to her in my mind, hoping she would meet a better man.
“Adelia’s long efforts finally bore fruit. I regret not being able to see it myself. But Helena, how about you?”
“Me?”
“Yeah, how’s it going with that person you’ve had in your heart for so long?”
I must have been too deep in thought in front of her.
Evelyn waved her hand in front of my eyes and tilted her head.
“Me? You mean, me?”
“Yeah, didn’t you have someone you liked for a long time? I don’t know who it is, though.”
“How do you know about that, Evelyn?”
Surprised by her words, I reacted, and she playfully hit my shoulder.
“You’re funny. I’ve known you and Adelia for a long time. Don’t you think I’d know? Didn’t you treat all the guys who showed interest in you at the academy like they were nothing?”
“There were people interested in me at the academy? In me, not Adelia? Why?”
I was genuinely surprised by Evelyn’s revelation.
She shrugged her shoulders at my reaction.
“Adelia was obviously popular because she’s strikingly beautiful, but as far as I know, you were quite popular too. You have a lovely appearance, too. Besides, you’re warm and kind to everyone.”
Feeling my face heat up at Evelyn’s barrage of compliments, I started fanning myself vigorously with my hand.
“And that’s part of your charm too.”
“Stop teasing me. It’s embarrassing to hear such unexpected things from you, Evelyn.”
Evelyn subtly moved to my side, gently bumping her shoulder against mine.
“Helena, you really didn’t know?”
“Huh? Um, well…”
Evelyn laughed heartily at my reaction.
“But why were you outside the banquet hall? Planning to go home?”
“No, just felt a bit claustrophobic inside the hall. And without Adelia, it’s kind of boring.”
Evelyn’s words suddenly made me feel a strong wave of loneliness.
I missed Adelia terribly.
I wanted to share all my feelings from today and talk with her all night.
‘Should I really go see her?’
No.
If I keep this up, I’ll always be in the same place.
As close as we are, I’ve been too dependent on Adelia.
As lonely as it felt, now was the best opportunity for me to become emotionally independent.
I quickly adjusted my thoughts and steadied my heart.
“But you were on your way back to the banquet hall, right?”
“Right. And you, Evelyn?”
“Yeah. I was feeling suffocated too and was about to head back in.”
“How about we go together?”
“Sounds good. I’m a bit chilled from the breeze. Let’s get some warm tea.”
We lightly chatted as we entered the banquet hall.
Inside, the hall was still bustling and crowded with people.
“It feels suffocating as soon as we enter.”
“Do you not like these kinds of parties, Evelyn?”
“Yeah. Mingling with people I’m not close to, just smiling and talking superficially, doesn’t suit my straightforward personality.”
“That’s so like you, Evelyn.”
I laughed heartily in agreement with her remark.
“What about you, Helena? Don’t you find it suffocating here too?”
“Me? Um, yeah, a bit.”
“Right?”
“Yes. I prefer meeting with close friends in a garden and having a comfortable chat, rather than being around many people at once.”
“I see. You’re similar to me, then.”
“Really?”
“Yes. Deep conversations don’t really fit in a place like this, do they?”
“They don’t, indeed.”
“Hey, Helena.”
“Yes?”
“I was thinking of going back to…”
I was about to focus on what Evelyn was saying when she started to speak.
Male lead fell into her trap — and shattered when she walked away
This is also on my reread list!
This one is a slow burn, but when it burns, it burns hard.
Definitely worth a read, y’all!
The story follows a thousand-year-old seductive spirit who, on a bet, sets out to charm the male lead—a once-promising but unfortunate cultivator.
But just when she succeeds in making him fall for her, she heartlessly leaves, driving him to madness.
Determined to find her at all costs, he captures her, keeping her by his side no matter what, even if she hates him.
I love this kind of trope—I enjoy watching the male lead suffer in agony.
The ending drags a bit with unnecessary filler, but that’s fine.
As long as I enjoy the beginning, I’m good.
Intro
As an enchantress, Su Heng possesses captivating eyes and charming beauty, easily manipulating the joys and sorrows of living beings at her fingertips.
But to enchant a god, making him taste the bitterness of love’s separation, long-lasting resentment, unattainable desires, and inability to let go…
Do you dare?
Su Heng assists a divine lord in his cultivation, aiming to make him experience all the sufferings of love, so that he can attain the Great Dao.
Only after being chased down from the heavens by the divine lord, confined and completely possessed by him, does she realize how successful she has been.
The once gentle and polite youth has transformed into someone she no longer recognizes.
[Touch the gear icon in the bottom right corner of the screen to move to the next chapter if you want.]
