A Shadow Cast in Paradise - Chapter 15

Riana recalled the image of the port burning bright red. The smell of the bitter smoke flowing into her lungs was also unforgettable.

“When you go through the deepest night, I will be there.”

That one phrase lingered in her mind and wouldn’t leave.

Riana looked at the man sitting in front of the table.

His appearance was terribly unfamiliar.

The cold eyes, the jet-black hair, the luxurious shirt and wrinkle-free pressed pants, the shiny black leather shoes polished of dirt.

A perfectly handsome nobleman.

An arrogant person full of confidence that he can do everything as he pleases.

A man with authority who doesn’t need to have kindness or consideration.

Clearly, he was a completely different person from the slave boy.

But…

“When the lady goes through the deepest night, I will be by your side.”

Why does his voice overlap with that?

Do you remember that promise too?

Will that time remain somewhere within the changed you?

Riana recalled the rough but kind touch that pulled her out of nightmares late at night.

She often had nightmares in her childhood.

On nights oppressed by sleeplessness consumed by fear.

When all the nightmares and terrible despair scattered from his fingertips, she could close her eyes again without fear.

But now, he himself chose to become a nightmare and dragged her into the mire.

Riana bit her lip.

Words that had been stagnant up to her chin welled up.

The day I abandoned you, I wanted to protect you with everything I had.

The harsh words I poured out to you were not sincere.

They were selfish lies.

If I didn’t say that, it felt like I would have lingering feelings. Like I would go find you one day embracing this curse, like I would beg you to wake me up from the nightmare a little.

So… I lied to you.

But the words that welled up to her chin boiled hotly and then sank down like a heavy lump of lead.

Honesty was a sin to her.

If honesty is a virtue to angels, demons have the virtue of lies.

A demon’s sincere confession only spreads a curse.

The crime of rebellion called heresy spreads like an epidemic.

Those involved in the rebellion are treated as the same kind of sinners, and even if innocent, they are punished together.

To avoid spreading that epidemic, the terrible disease had to be sealed with silence.

So she swallowed and accumulated the lead-like truth deep in her heart.

Even if her chest felt stuffy, heavy, and throbbing as if she had indigestion, there was no other way.

Because that was the burden a sinner had to bear.

That’s why she tried to run away.

Because it was painful to swallow lumps of lead every day.

Because she would have to swallow even more lumps of lead if she went to Ideana.

‘I barely buried it…’

The memories she struggled to distance herself from for 8 years, Sched Lester appeared and rummaged through them all.

At that moment, a knocking sound squeezed in between the two people. It seemed like a small gap finally appeared in the suffocating air.

“Your Excellency, the meal is ready.”

It was Werner’s voice.

“Come in.”

At Sched’s permission, the door opened and Werner and the maids brought the meal into the room.

They placed the food on the table in the bedroom and quietly withdrew.

As Werner, the last one to leave, closed the door, Riana felt like she was trapped in a sealed room again.

At that moment, Sched’s gaze, sitting at a distance from the table, turned towards Riana again.

“Sit.”

He pointed to the chair across from him with his chin.

When Riana hesitated, his brows furrowed again.

“I’ll say it again, I don’t like saying things twice.”

He warned in a low voice as if this was the last time.

Riana lowered her head.

She headed to the chair across from her, following Sched’s order.

And after hesitating for a moment, she gingerly sat on the chair as if it was studded with thorns.

The meal prepared by the maids was placed on the table.

Simple tomato soup, bread, pickled kohlrabi, and roasted vegetables.

It was a rather simple meal for a duke, but it looked appetizing with the lingering warmth as if it was freshly made.

Riana felt hungry, shamefully.

Come to think of it, the only thing she had eaten from the night before last until now was a cheap glass of beer she ordered at the pub last night.

After walking, running, and starving without a wink of sleep, the hunger rushing in with the smell of food was painful enough to twist her stomach.

“Eat.”

Sched said to Riana, who was like that.

He was sitting with his legs crossed and arms folded, leaning back like a bystander as if he had no intention of having the meal in the first place.

‘He’s telling me to eat this…?’

Although she clearly heard his order, Riana sat still without picking up the spoon.

Then Sched’s eyes narrowed even more.

“I said it twi-”

“Why are you doing this to me?”

Just as Sched was about to show his irritation, Riana asked.

She couldn’t understand Sched Lester.

He shows kindness with eyes full of hatred, leaving strange room for interpretation.

Riana wished he would rather curse at her, hate her, and despise her.

But even as Sched cursed her, he showed a touch that had warmth left in it.

“If you hate me, why…”

“Riana Serpens.”

Sched stood up from his seat at Riana’s question.

“Haven’t you adapted yet?”

“What…”

“I’m telling you to be aware of your position.”

Sched ran his hand through his hair irritably.

The right to question, the right to have doubts, the right to object to orders.

Those are not things a maid can have.

A duke doesn’t need to explain every order to a maid one by one, make her understand the reason, or ask for her opinion.

The only thing permitted to her is obedience.

“Even if there’s poison in that soup, if I tell you to eat it, you have to eat it.”

Sched slammed the table irritably, and the tableware clattered and jolted once.

Riana swallowed.

Her chest felt heavy, making her forget even her hunger.

But as a maid, she obeyed Sched’s order.

With trembling hands, she picked up the spoon and took a mouthful of soup.

She couldn’t tell what it tasted like or what aroma it had.

The smooth soup remained in her mouth like rough grains of sand.

“Swallow.”

When Riana kept the soup in her mouth without moving, Sched spoke.

Riana forcibly swallowed the tomato soup down her stuffy throat.

It felt like tomato lumps were stuck in the middle of her esophagus.

Having barely swallowed the soup, Riana quickly put down the spoon and rose from her seat.

Then Sched’s large hand pressed down on her shoulder and sat her back in her seat.

“Eat, until I tell you to stop.”

Riana opened her lips to object again but closed her mouth.

And following his order, she picked up the spoon and fork again.

Even though it was just a simple meal on a single plate, to Riana, it seemed as vast as if a banquet was spread out on the table.

The soup seemed to never decrease no matter how much she ate.

The pickled kohlrabi and roasted vegetables seemed like they were made by grinding up an entire field.

She forcibly swallowed the food, waiting for Sched to tell her to stop soon.

Sched sat at a distance, watching her as if monitoring her.

The fork moved slowly.

She chewed the small bites of bread for ages.

As if protesting.

She must be hungry.

She hadn’t eaten anything since meeting him, and probably even before meeting him.

But she poked at the food he gave her with the fork as if it were garbage, as if he were torturing her, as if it were disgusting.

He couldn’t tell what thoughts were in that tiny head of hers.

There was a time when he could see through to her heart transparently. There seemed to be a time when it reflected deeply without reservation like a clear lake.

But now it was hazy as if covered in fog, and he couldn’t see even an inch ahead.

What she was thinking, what she wanted.

Was that why?

Even though she was right in front of his eyes, it felt like she would disappear if he closed his eyes for a moment and opened them again.

Even if he reached out his hand, it felt like he wouldn’t be able to touch her as she would vanish like smoke.

What should I do with you?

How can I make this anxiety disappear completely?

I haven’t been able to close my eyes even once since yesterday, but my head won’t turn off as if it’s on fire.

My heart is pounding as if I took a stimulant, but my head throbs in pain.

Right. If I kill you, will this suffocating anxiety end?

No, that can’t be.

It would be unfair if it ended that easily.

Dying is too simple and comfortable.

Sched knew.

That life itself is a more terrible punishment than death.

Perhaps death is the only salvation God has given to humans.

Humans are tenaciously running towards the salvation called death in this hell called life.

I can’t easily give her that blessing.

Even now, isn’t she standing in front of him with a desperate expression as if she has fallen into hell?

Somehow angry at the sight, Sched downed the alcohol in his glass.

The moment he was about to put down the glass irritably, his gaze stopped at Riana’s legs. Under the darkly draped skirt below the table, her calves were slightly visible.

Sched fell silent as if lost in thought, then picked up his sword and rose from his seat. As Sched, who had been sitting all along, moved greatly, Riana’s head lifted slightly.

Like a beast walking without making a sound, he quietly approached the other side.

And in an instant, the cold tip of the sword pressed tightly against her ankle.

Riana shuddered at the chilling sensation.

The silver-flashing blade slowly moved up along the soft curves. A cool sensation brushed against her leg.

The hem of the skirt covering her calf slowly lifted, caught on the tip of the sword.

And.

“It’s gone.”

The violet eyes murmured, looking at her white calf.