“Nurse Yoon, you’re on day duty from today, right?”
Charge nurse Kyungmi called Dajeong. Dajeong turned around and smiled.
Although she respectfully treated Kyungmi as her superior at the hospital, in reality, Kyungmi was like a sister who had been with her since birth. Sometimes, Dajeong felt guilty because Kyungmi seemed to care more for her than for her own brother, Kyungjoon. Of course, Kyungjoon didn’t mind such things.
“Yes, ma’am.”
When her brother died and their family began to struggle, Kyungmi and Kyungjoon became Dajeong’s pillars of support. That’s why Dajeong thought of them as family.
Do you have to share blood to be family? Sharing hearts is just as difficult as sharing blood.
Kyungmi shuffled through charts, assigning tasks.
“Please check the dosage for 701’s patient, Im Sora. She’s been moved down to 8 gtts of labetolol. And Kim Jisun in 707 is being moved to a private room.”
“Understood.”
“Take a break before it gets busy, Dajeong. Don’t worry too much about baby Hae-sol. She’ll be okay.”
Kyungmi always worried about Dajeong whenever something bad happened in obstetrics. She knew Dajeong’s anxiety about life more than anyone.
Initially, Dajeong couldn’t sleep without taking sleeping pills whenever something went wrong with the babies. Knowing Kyungmi’s concern, Dajeong replied cheerfully.
“Alright. I’ll go grab a coffee.”
Hae-sol will be discharged healthy. Dajeong decided to believe that after seeing Lee Jaeho’s SNS. That’s why she could smile.
Three nurses in the break room called Dajeong over. They were Suna, Yumi, and Youngsook, who were close to Dajeong. As Dajeong approached, they handed her a cup of coffee.
“Have a coffee. When else will you get to rest?”
“Thank you.”
“There are a lot of surgeries today. Dr. Kim alone has three. It’s going to be super busy in the afternoon.”
“C-section?”
“No, cerclage.”
The type of surgery determined which floor the ward would be on. C-sections, being full-term births, are assigned to the 8th floor, while cerclage, a preterm labor prevention surgery, brings patients to the 7th floor. One surgery ends pregnancy, the other aims to extend it.
It’s going to be a busy day…
Dajeong nodded, listening to the conversation. Their chat meandered through drama updates, cosmetics, pets, marriages, and back to hospital stories.
“Oh, right. Nurse Yoon, don’t be shocked to hear this. Kim Hyejin’s baby passed away.”
Yumi said.
“What did you say?”
Youngsook reacted before Dajeong could. Dajeong was too stunned to respond. A heavy weight pressed on her heart, making her feel faint. Dajeong stared blankly at her coffee cup.
“How did it happen? The baby was doing fine in the NICU.”
Someone said with sorrow in their voice.
“I guess the breathing became too difficult towards the end.”
“Oh no.”
A single hot tear fell into the cup, causing ripples on the calm surface. The ripples swelled into a tidal wave, engulfing Dajeong.
“Oh, Nurse Yoon, are you crying? I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have mentioned it.”
Yumi consoled her. The voice sounded distant, like it was echoing underwater. Dajeong had tried not to worry, but not for a moment had she forgotten about Hae-sol. Today was exactly ten days.
The small baby, whom she had never seen, had constantly struggled in her heart. Dajeong wanted to reach out and hold her, but there was no way.
“Hae-sol… If she had been born today, she would have lived.”
“…”
“I kept thinking that. She was 26 weeks and 4 days old. A baby waited for 8 years. We were almost there. How could this happen?”
Dajeong’s voice, laden with moisture, sighed out. She put down her cup and covered her eyes with both hands, letting the sorrow flow out. Yumi hurried to get a tissue and came back.
“It wasn’t something to hide, I just said it out loud, sorry. You’ve been concerned, haven’t you? Cry it out more, let it go. What can we do? It’s beyond our control.”
She hugged Dajeong, offering comfort.
Can crying really help let things go?
Dajeong knew all too well that it couldn’t.
Despite months of heart-wrenching tears, her brother didn’t come back to life, and the misery his death brought consumed her family like a poisonous mushroom. Eventually, her father followed her brother, and her mother couldn’t hold on any longer.
Crying incessantly changed nothing. The grief only seemed to grow.
Yet, she couldn’t stop her tears.
Do tears need to shed something? For the 774g baby she couldn’t even hold a funeral for, Dajeong cried sincerely. Now, this work no longer felt joyful.
She wanted to marvel at the birth of life, but more often than not, reality was unforgiving. Numerous babies became stars in the night sky, unheard by their parents.
The thought flashed in her mind that she couldn’t bear it any longer. It seemed to warn her that this was her limit. That it was time.
To quit.
Dajeong felt her limit. She was ‘burned out.’
“You said resignation?”
When scheming men desperately battle for her favor in the male harem
This one’s also on my reread list! The rivalry, scheming between the men in the imperial harem are just as intense and thrilling as in classic palace drama novels, where concubines fight to the death. Give it a read, girls! I promise you won’t be disappointed.
Synopsis:
“I am not worthy of her… but I still want to be by her side, even if only as a loyal dog…”
Those were the painful whispers of Yue Guanyi – the proud Crown Prince of the Great Qi, who was torn between deep love and a guilty conscience. Despite holding the supreme power of the Imperial Guard, he still could not forget the dark past when he was sold into a brothel.
Fate played a cruel twist when Qiu Shuzhi – a young female official who had just passed the imperial examinations with top honors – stepped into his life. She did not know that she was the one who had saved him from a tragic fate many years ago. And now, her heart was the target of pursuit for both Yue Guanyi and the powerful Empress Dowager Qin Qing.
While Yue Guanyi only dared to silently care for and protect the one he loved from afar, the Empress Dowager Qin Qing openly expressed his feelings and did not hesitate to take advantage of his power to approach Qiu Shuzhi. The covert struggle between the two most powerful forces in the imperial court began…
Trigger warning: All men in this novel are yandere style.
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