She lowered her head. If Jae Kyung told her to kneel, she might have kneeled.

She didn’t know what kind of person she was before losing her memory, but it was clear that she was a brazen and shameless person.

Na Eun, whose memories only went up to the age of nineteen, could never understand how she could commit such infidelity while having a boyfriend who consistently loved her.

I have to make it right.

She didn’t know what choices she made before losing her memory, but she was different now.

If there was a mistake, she had to confess and be punished.

Because she didn’t know what bad things she might do again if her memories returned, she thought she had to confess now, even if it was premature.

When Jae Kyung quietly asked if she remembered something from the past, Na Eun shook her head.

Then, she honestly answered that although not everything, a few scenes flashed through her mind like a movie.

The problem was that her infidelity was included in those few scenes.

“I spent the night with someone else.”

“……”

“It’s my memory. I’m sure of it.”

As she confessed, she felt disgusted and horrible with herself and wanted to sink into the ground.

How could she have done such a thing? And yet, how could she shamelessly continue to see him and stay with him, accepting his help as if nothing happened? It was clear that she wasn’t a proper human being before losing her memory.

She lowered her head while sitting on the sofa and clenched her fists, preparing for all the criticism that would soon come from Jae Kyung.

Her left pinky finger, which didn’t move well due to an accident three years ago, ached strangely as if it were burned.

But she had no right to complain about such things now.

She thought it wouldn’t be strange if Jae Kyung got angry, said he wanted to break up, and immediately kicked her out of this house.

However, she was at a loss for words at Jae Kyung’s response as he knelt on one knee in front of her and met her eyes.

“It’s okay. It was a mistake. Let’s forget about it.”

“……”

“I forgive you.”

As always, his kind voice and gentle tone enveloped her.

Na Eun looked up at him with disbelieving eyes, and Jae Kyung took something out of his coat pocket.

She closed her mouth at the object that came out of the small box. It was a ring.

“I’m sorry for proposing without a ring yesterday. Let’s get married.”

“……”

“And I’m thinking of moving up the departure date a bit….”

“….Jae Kyung, what are you saying?”

A firm voice cut off his words. Jae Kyung froze for a moment.

At the end of raising his head, there was Na Eun staring at him with eyes that couldn’t believe him.

She shook her head with a serious expression, as if wanting to deny each and every one of Jae Kyung’s words.

“How can you forgive this?”

“……”

“How can you pretend it never happened?”

She seemed to not understand Jae Kyung at all.

“There’s no way in the world to turn what happened into something that didn’t happen.”

Na Eun’s eyes turned red as she spoke.

“It can’t be undone, Jae Kyung.”

She finally shed tears.

“I’m sorry.”

If counted until today, excluding the first day she regained consciousness, she had been crying for three days straight.

Jae Kyung couldn’t even comfort her tears as he was busy picking up his heart that had fallen to the floor.

In the meantime, Na Eun, who had wiped her tears with her sleeve, muttered in a voice that she tried to calm down.

“I’ll leave the house by tomorrow. I already packed my things.”

At her words, Jae Kyung’s gaze shifted to the suitcase placed in front of the open bedroom door.

Seeing that, he scoffed softly. Did she think she could leave as she pleased?

He roughly grabbed the arm of Na Eun, who was about to get up from her seat and head to the bedroom after arbitrarily ending their conversation.

It was the first rough action he had taken since bringing her here.

Ignoring her surprise, he forcibly sat her back on the sofa.

Meeting the gaze of her looking up at him in bewilderment, Jae Kyung calmly opened his mouth.

“A mistake?”

She couldn’t answer his question. Jae Kyung tried to smile, hiding his impatient emotions.

“It was a mistake.”

“…..It wasn’t a mistake.”

At her answer, the forced smile on Jae Kyung’s lips hardened. Na Eun lowered her head with resigned eyes and confessed.

“I’m not sure. But I remember my feelings at that time. I was sincere.”

Although she didn’t know who the other person was, she remembered her desperation clinging to that person.

And herself feeling secure in the warmth of their touch.

That day, she definitely felt comfort in that man’s arms as if she were the safest person in the world, even if only for a moment.

“….It’s okay.”

“Jae Kyung.”

She called out to him in surprise. Jae Kyung impatiently held both of her hands.

“You love me now, don’t you?”

Right? You do. Tears welled up again in her eyes as she looked at him asking as if begging.

“Even so, how can we pretend it never happened?”

“I’m okay with it. I’ll understand. As long as your feelings for me now are sincere, that’s all that matters.”

“…..Just abandon me, Jae Kyung.”

I lost the right to be by your side. Somehow, her decisive voice sounded like a warning thrown at him, and Jae Kyung finally exploded.

“I said I’m okay with it!”

Na Eun flinched at his shout, as he had never raised his voice at her from their first meeting until now.

By this point, Jae Kyung was almost kneeling in front of her.

He moved closer to her as if crawling and buried his face in her chest.

In the warm embrace that hugged him back as if by instinct, Jae Kyung cried.

“It’s okay. I understand.”

“……”

“Say it was a mistake. Even if it wasn’t, just say it was a mistake, and I can let it go.”

Please don’t be honest at a time like this, Na Eun.

For the first time in his life, he burst into tears of sorrow. He felt resentful and bitter about her choice to abandon him even at a moment like this.

Even though her unnecessary conscience and goodness were probably the source of her kindness, at times like this, he wanted to rip them out by the roots.

Na Eun’s goodness was always poison to the villain Jae Kyung.

“I’m cold, Na Eun.”

Hugging her waist with both arms and burying his face in Na Eun’s stomach like a child, Jae Kyung mumbled.

Surprised by his words, Na Eun looked around. Not only was she surprised by Jae Kyung’s crying, but she was also confused as to whether the house, which always maintained an appropriate indoor temperature, really felt cold.

Nevertheless, just in case it was really cold, Na Eun hugged Jae Kyung as if her body was his outer clothing.

Feeling that, Jae Kyung cried even more like a child.

“I’m scared.”

“……”

“It’s cold and it hurts.”

Words he had never uttered even when he was called to the room and beaten to the point of losing consciousness whenever the orphanage director was in a bad mood as a child, or when he was kicked out in the middle of winter, flowed out in front of her.

He pleaded like a child asking an adult for help.

“Please help me.”

You said you’d protect me. You said you wished I wouldn’t be cold anymore.

It was the first time he had heard those words in his life. The world was always cruel to Jae Kyung.

It only took without giving, and only cast him out without embracing him. The moment he accepted and conformed to that being natural, the path Jae Kyung walked was set in one direction.

Even if he said it hurts, no one would help him.

Even if he asked for help, saying he was suffering, no one would help him.

Pulling his emotions to the bottom and killing them was, in a way, Jae Kyung’s way of survival.

If he knew that even if he begged for his life to the person pointing a gun at his forehead, they wouldn’t listen, there was no reason to beg for his life.

After all, what the other person wanted was his cowardice, and they weren’t particularly interested in the pain Jae Kyung would experience, which he had known since he was young.

The man who withdrew the gun, saying he liked the look in Jae Kyung’s eyes, raised him calling him a useful talent, and that’s how he became a villain.

He had never regretted this life, but the little girl in front of him had completely ruined him.

He tried to get rid of her because he was afraid of this, he tried to run away, but he couldn’t even do that, and he ended up like this.

It was a world he didn’t want to know.

Even if she was happy just by being given what she wanted, even if she hoped the other person would be warm even if she was cold, even if she got hurt and didn’t know what fear was and confessed her love, such blind affection should exist in the world but should have had no intersection with Jae Kyung.

If he had never experienced it, he wouldn’t have known how cold he was, how much pain he was in.

This is all because of you. You ruined me.

Shifting the blame like a villain, he buried his face in her lap and poured out his tears.

As if vomiting out all the tears he had held back since childhood, Na Eun’s eyes turned red as she looked down at Jae Kyung, who cried saying it hurt so much.

“If you’re sorry to me, stay by my side.”

Jae Kyung, who had decided to be shameless until the end, said without letting go of Na Eun’s waist that he was hugging.

“Don’t abandon me, Na Eun.”

Please.

He mumbled.

I’ll do well. I’ll really do well. I know I can’t compensate for everything I took from you, everything I hurt you with, all the moments I trampled on your sincerity. But please forgive me just once more. Accept me just once more. Then I’ll give myself all to you.

“….Jae Kyung.”

Na Eun stroked the back of Jae Kyung’s head, which was buried in her lap, feeling sorry for him.

Confirming that his hands holding her were trembling, she hugged Jae Kyung tighter as if to embrace him.

“Why are you begging me….”

I should be the one begging for forgiveness…. Jae Kyung, who could never let her know the truth until he died, bit his lip as she said that while crying.

You can’t turn what happened into something that didn’t happen.

Even if he lived with her by his side until he died, he would probably spend his days trembling, not knowing when his lie would be exposed.

He had to hide it until he died. It was obvious that every moment would be hell.

But it was okay.

“Will you stay with me?”

Jae Kyung raised his head as if seeking confirmation and looked up at her.

When she slowly wiped away the tears that had filled his cheeks from crying like a child, he closed his eyes and obediently received her touch.

After a long hesitation, Na Eun weakly nodded her head with a face that looked like she was about to cry too.

Jae Kyung finally felt relieved and buried himself in her arms again, bursting into tears.

Even if it was hell, it was okay.

He was a villain anyway, so it was where he was supposed to go, so it didn’t matter even if he went there a little early.